Bipolar disorder is incurable. We take medication to “fix” our symptoms, but there is no magic pill to take away the problem.

I have struggled for a while with the idea that I will be Bipolar for the rest of my life. When I was first diagnosed, it felt like a death sentence. I thought there was no way I could live a normal and happy life with my brain. I quickly became convinced that the solution was to never plan on living the full life that was given to me. I was passively suicidal because of my diagnosis for a long time – until I became actively suicidal and was forced to go to treatment.

I have made leaps and bounds of progress in treatment over the past two months. So much progress, in fact, that I am ready to go back to school and hopefully become a healthy, contributing member of society.

There’s a catch though. I will never. And I mean never ever in my entire life be done working on my Bipolar Disorder. I will always have to be on medication, and I will always have to watch my moods. I am most likely capable of living a happy and full life, but my illness will always in some way have to be at the forefront.

Sometimes this makes me incredibly sad. I’d love to be able to be “normal” and not have to worry about these things. But part of accepting my Disorder is recognizing that it is a part of my reality and a part of me now.

How do you cope with knowing that you can never be fixed?