An oversexed African spurred tortoise named Bert mounted so many females in a British animal park that he developed crippling arthritis and had to be equipped with wheels. Bert, 22 (tortoises commonly live to 60), began to experience swelling in his hind legs after servicing numerous females in a 2011 breeding program. When the condition worsened, handlers at the Dinosaur Adventure Park attached wheels to the back of Bert’s shell to take the weight off his legs and help him heal. Park officials say kids think Bert is “a bionic tortoise.”