How often do people describe their goals by explaining all the things they don’t want? Pretend you are a travel agent and I come to your office to book a trip. You ask me where I want to go. I proceed to tell you all the destinations that I have no interest in visiting. While you may get a sense of dislikes or where I have already been, do you know where to book the trip to now? That will require you to ask where I do want to go.
How often are goals really for someone else? Many people will set a goal based on what they think others want, what helps others, or because they are afraid of a consequence. They will be motivated in the short term and burn out in the long term. It is when people set goals because of the personal significance for themselves that they are strongly motivated for the long term.
How often do people wait for things to change so they can have what they want? If waiting, how much influence do they have on the eventual outcome? It is so important to consider what can be done, where there is control, and how to proactively move forward.
Whether coaching a client or setting your own goals, be sure to specifically define what is wanted, personal meaning, and what actions will be taken.
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