Learn How To Lose Like A Winner
“That’s what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning. ” – Richard Bach
Lose Like A Winner!
Perhaps one of life’s many lessons that pass so many people is the lesson on “Learning How To Lose.“
Losing, for many people, is the end. It signifies to them that they are not GOOD ENOUGH.
This is why getting dumped, rejected, or discarded hurts so much. We feel as if we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
It is this feeling that causes many people to NOT even go out and try.
The fear of trying and the fear of rejection is STRONG in some people.
Most people do not like feeling as if they are a Loser.
Hence is why some people go out of their way to make others think they are losers or blow up others’ failures to overshadow their shortcomings.
“Ha! Ha! YOU LOSS! WHAT A LOSER YOU ARE!!! HA! HA!” (Foam coming out of their mouth).
Narcissistic people have a great desire, which may be subconscious, to make others feel like losers. They have a strong desire to stop people from achieving their goals and an even stronger desire to strip people of their perceivable beauties and greatness.
“If I can’t be like you or have what you have, I will take it away from you.”
(Note: It is not only narcs that try and do this. People with personality disorders are wildly jealous and envious of others. People who do not have the emotional maturity as well would think like this. But seeing as this website is about narcissism, I want to confine this idea to the narcissist.)
They will watch a person they think can achieve a goal and spend their time and energy trying to stop that person from achieving their dreams; instead of just going out there and trying to accomplish their dreams and goals.
Why?
There is a myriad of reasons.
But mostly because NARCS ARE LOSERS.
And to see others achieve in their life goals, NOT AT THE COST OF TAKING ANYTHING FROM THE NARC, is a massive blow to their fragile ego.
These people have a very dualistic outlook on life.
If you/we achieve in OUR life goals, that somehow, in their looney toon ways of thinking, means they are failures.
If you/ we are in a happy relationship, they are forever doomed to be single despite there being thousands of potential partners out there for them.
Somehow, if you/ we are happy, that means they must be sad.
If you/we are our boss, that means they must work for us, despite numerous ways to earn a living INDEPENDENT OF US.
And if you/we are a WINNER in life, they must be a LOSER.
These Jokers are NOT playing with a full deck — and they will work DAY and NIGHT, 24/7, and spend the REST OF THEIR LIVES to make us feel like as a loser.
They will try and destroy us at ALL COST!
And YOU/WE…must learn how to lose like a winner because they WILL throw many losses our way — and they will NEVER STOP!
#loselikeawinner
Losing Like A Winner
It is never easy feeling like a loser. Heaven knows there are days where I wake up and feel like a complete failure. I feel like a loser for not seeing how people were setting me up.
I feel like a loser for ignoring all the red flags that the narc was waving right in front of my face. And I feel like a loser for having ever…CARED FOR THESE PEOPLE.
Thoughts of the past always remind me of all the things they did to me how they made me look stupid. How I allowed them to hurt me because I thought, “They are just hurt people. Let them vent.”‘
…………………………………………………………………………….
We feel like losers and fools because we ALLOWED them to mistreat us.
We felt sorry for them, and we fell for their victimhood facade.
It is not uncommon for many of us to have a great hatred and disdain for them. And an even more, or equally, hatred and disdain for ourselves.
But here’s the thing…
We are WINNERS, and they are LOSERS.
And we must learn how to lose like a winner.
Batman: Lose Like Batman
Batman is my favorite comic book character. He doesn’t always win every fight, but he sure as hell fights every battle. He is a man who never gives up.
There is a particular Batman that I LOVE. To me, he is what we should all try and strive to be.
It is the Injustice Batman.
For those who are not familiar with this Batman, allow me to give you a quick synopsis.
In an alternate Universe of the DC Multiverse, is a Universe called Injustice! In this Universe, the BASTARD CLOWN JACK*SS PRINCE OF CRIME (The Joker), tricks Superman into killing his wife and unborn child.
Superman, usually being the beacon of hope and integrity, SNAPS and kills the Joker as a result.
Which is NOT a bad thing.
The Joker SUCKS!
He is SUCH A LOSER CHARACTER, which is why he is so popular with many people!
The Joker is a NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH. He is not a mental case; he is just a jack*ss.
Superman would then start to go down a dark path and NEVER COME BACK.
He would start to kill friends, force the world to live under his boot, and turn against Batman!
Over five years, Batman would wage wars against Superman but would fail time and time again.
He would succeed in the end.
But the message I am getting at is he never gave up.
Every time he loses, he looked for a different way to succeed.
What does this have to do with us?
Everything!
Batman & The Joker
Batman and the Joker’s relationship is, in every sense, a relationship of a narcissistic sociopath trying to get the attention of the supply. And in this case, it is Joker trying to get the attention of Batman.
Joker is EVERYONE’ S CRAZY EX (be they male or female).
The reason why the Joker is such a fan-favorite character is that he exemplifies what everyone is.
Narcissistic people are NOT as rare as we think they are.
Batman is popular because he exemplifies everything we CAN BE.
Joker’s obsession with Batman is not too dissimilar to how a narc obsesses over their supply.
They will do some batsh*t insane things to get our attention.
From stalking us, to spying on us (via their flying monkeys), to even trying to run into us with their cars (I have had narcs do this to me).
These people are not playing with a full deck.
They are a bunch of Jokers, losers, who work so hard to get the winners’ (the supply) attention.
And we must be like Batman.
Calm. Cool. Collected.
Learn from our mistakes and continue to keep pressing forward.
The narcs will never stop trying to hurt us, and we must NEVER STOP FIGHTING TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT WE WANT.
Our story of how we overcame the shame, guilt, and hurt will be a powerful tool for others going through the same thing.
As Superman says, “It’s a never-ending battle.”
The bad people in life will NEVER stop trying to hurt others. And we good WARRIORS must never stop fighting the good fight.
Reframe How You See Losing
We must start to reframe how we see ourselves and the narcissist along with their legion of fools in our lives.
We must start to see ourselves as heroes and our lives as an epic story.
The narcissists and their legion of fools are the villains and antagonists.
They are the ones who are here to give us a hard time; adversity.
NOT…to stop us from being what we are meant to be, but to push us in the direction so that we might BECOME THAT PERSON.
To BECOME that hero!
HARD TIMES ARE NOT MEANT TO DESTROY US…BUT TO REVEAL TO US WHO WE ARE.
Heroes and villains are created mostly under the same umbrella, that being TRAGEDY.
It is easy to sink into the dark, nihilistic void and become a dark soul.
Few people can rise above hard times and become a hero!
Most people lack that kind of resolve.
But WE must be strong enough to accept our losses in life…our lessons in life.
Lose Like A Winner
“Loss invites reflection and reformulating and a change of strategies. Loss hurts and bleeds and aches. L-ss is always ready to call out your name in the night. Loss follows you home and taunts you at the breakfast table, follows you to work in the morning. You have to make accommodations and broker deals to soften the rabbit punches that loss brings to your daily life. You have to take the word “loser” and add it to your resume and walk around with it on your name tag as it hand-feeds you your own sh*t in dosages too large for even great beasts to swallow. The word “loser” follows you, bird-dogs you, sniffs you out of whatever fields you hide in because you have to face things clearly and you cannot turn away from what is true.”― Pat Conroy
Lose Like A Winner!
Replay what they said in your mind. Write it down. And now write out comebacks for what you will say and do next time.
Lose Like A Winner!
Remember how they attacked you. Think about their movement, what they did, how they did it. Now practice countering that attack.
Lose Like A Winner!
Remember all the lies, gossiping, and smear campaigns. Think about what got to you the most. Think about what didn’t bother you. Look at how they went on the attack more when you didn’t care. Remember that feeling of NOT caring. Grab it. Hold it. Use it. MASTER IT.
Lose Like A Winner!
Replay all the red flags they waved in your face. Watch the red flags and be on the lookout for them in new encounters with narcs.
Lose Like A Winner!
Accept the losses for a game you didn’t even know you were playing. Prepare yourself for the next games that these narcs will ultimately bring to you.
Lose Like A Winner!
A person who gets knocked down time and time again and picks themselves up time and time again.
Lose Like A Winner!
A person who has the whole world against them, but they have themselves for themselves.
Lose Like A Winner!
A person the whole laugh at for not being part of their clique. While you smile because they ARE just a clique (and nothing more by themselves.)
Lose Like A Winner!
A person who has enemies that line up at the door and around the block, yet you are unfazed. Resolved and resolute in living YOUR LIFE on YOUR TERMS!
Lose Like A Winner!
A person whose image is torn and shredded by the constant lies. But bothers you NOT because you have character. And character is the tree, while the image is only but a shadow.
Lose Like A Winner!
A person who may not win every fight but will d*mn sure fights every battle and gets stronger, wiser, and better because of it.
Lose Like A Winner!
A person WHO NEVER GIVES UP ON THEMSELVES…NO MATTER HOW BADLY THEY FAILED. YOU WILL NEVER…EVER…GIVE UP ON YOU!
As the old saying goes, “Never follow a general into battle who has no scars.”
Be a person whose scars did not deter them from living life but have helped to live life much better because of the hard times.
We are not victims, but FIGHTERS!
Not survivors, but THRIVERS!
Not punching bags, but WARRIORS!
And not losers, but WINNERS!
Hard times are not meant to destroy us but to REVEAL US… TO US.
Lose Like A Winner!
I leave you with this poem by Suzy Kaseem to think about when you feel small, worthless, and like a loser!
REMEMBER YOUR GREATNESS
“Before you were born,
And were still too tiny for
The human eye to see,
You won the race for life
From among 250 million competitors.
And yet,
How fast you have forgotten
Your strength,
When your very existence
Is proof of your greatness.
You were born a winner,
A warrior,
One who defied the odds
By surviving the most gruesome
Battle of them all.
And now that you are a giant,
Why do you even doubt victory
Against smaller numbers,
And wider margins?
The only walls that exist,
Are those you have placed in your mind.
And whatever obstacles you conceive,
Exist only because you have forgotten
What you have already
Achieved.”
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology. In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.
