Virginia Peaches ’24
Avid Reality TV Fan
| Jones |
| The cultishness of Jones Hall reeks of Lisa Vanderpump. You can name every person that’s lived in your room before you and know all your neighbors by heart. There’s no empire like the Jones empire. That’s all that needs to be said. |
| Trinity Hall |
| You go hand in hand with Jackson and people often get the two of you confused. So, for that reason Trinity Hall is Ariana Madix. You cause drama and upheaval with your partner in crime Tom Sandoval (aka Jackson) but unlike him you start to mature in your sophomore year. |
| Smith |
| Like Funston, people tend to forget about you guys but not as frequently. Therefore, Smith is Katie Maloney. You pop up when it’s time to go out or one of your friends tells you about their breakup in the bathroom of AD. Like Katie you are a weekend friend, but the camera never sees you during the everyday drama of Sur. |
| Elton |
| Objectively the nicest of the freshman dorms with two room doubles, if you reside in Elton you’re spoiled. You’re spoiled like Stassi Schroeder. Both of you seem to believe you’re the descendants of Swedish royalty |
| Jackson |
| Current and past Jackson residents are a close runner up to the Jones crew. Causing trouble with the makeshift bar in your common room, if you live in Jackson, you’re Tom Sandoval. People know you as the ones who pulled the fire alarms in Elton your freshman year and to be honest you’ve never fully matured. |
| Funston |
| Everyone forgets about Funston being a freshman dorm. I don’t think I could ever point to it on the campus map. For that reason, Funston is Laura-Leigh. You guys appear for one season and then nobody knows what happens. You claim your big break was We’re the Millers, but people couldn’t tell you what role you played. |
| Cook A |
| The newest addition to the “Concrete Jungle” with the best views of the quad. Downside is that if you live in Cook A, you’re probably cheating on your high school girlfriend with a girl you met the first night at Blax. And let’s make it clear that committing this act is done on the top bunk of your bunk bed. People sleeping in the bunkbeds of Cook A are Jax Taylor, the pathological liar and constant cheater of Sur. If you find yourself climbing up to the top bunk… get out. |
