Springtime and the approach of the end of the year can bring out lots of troublesome behaviors in our students. And with some students missing out on so much in-school “socialization” time during COVID, we are seeing more of these behaviors than ever.
This post will be a bit of “when this happens . . . do this.” Please note that this is not a “be all/end all” list of responses. I do base much of this on the Responsive Classroom approach and I encourage you to read more on their website HERE.
(I would love to hear if this type of post helps you! I would also love to hear from you if you have suggested behaviors to add to this list and/or suggestions for how to address those behaviors.)
You’ve probably seen this quote:
“The children now . . . have bad manners and contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. . . . They contradict their parents, chatter before company, . . . and tyrannize their teachers.”
~attributed to Socrates, 469-399 B. C.
In other words: children have always had behavior challenges. They need to be shown and taught what we want them to do.
The Responsive Classroom approach is based on the principle of logical consequences. The three main types of consequences are reparations, loss of privileges, and positive time-out (or taking a break). But Responsive Classroom also teaches the importance of creating a sense of belonging and significance (often fostered through activities such as morning meeting – more on that later) and just plain fun!
Here are some general tips:
*Talk to your PLC first. Sometimes this is a grade-level issue and you all can exhibit “strength in numbers” by implementing the same rules and consequences.
*Talk to your administrators and school counselor. Get their advice and guidance. If they are not supportive, you may need to make some decisions about where you want to teach. (The good news about teacher shortages is that teachers are in high demand. You can go just about anywhere. So take your show on the road if you feel that you are not getting the support that you need.)
*Keep in mind that your students need to know how we “do school.” Realize that they missed out on some of the “practice” that they would have had in the earlier grades. Extend some grace, but plan to spend more time teaching them what you want them to do. If you are expecting to have to do that, the behaviors will not frustrate you and irritate you quite as much.
*Review your expectations for group work and any other classroom procedure. Don’t assume they know it. And keep on reviewing/reminding/reinforcing – even on the last day of school!
*Consider offering extra free time and/or extra recess for your class at a specified time. (This is especially popular in the spring.) But – they have to earn it.
You can have them earn and then accumulate “points” that they trade in for their free time (by keeping their space clean & neat, paying attention/staying focused, completing work, or whatever you need to reinforce). Or you could start everyone out at 10 points (or whatever number), then deduct when they do something they should not be doing. They have to have at least 8 points to earn the free time.
*Do not hesitate to “write up” students (using whatever paper trail your school or district uses) when warranted.
*Social-emotional learning has always been important, but never more so than now. Here are some of my posts on topics that will help you establish (or re-establish) relationships and address your students’ social-emotional needs.
Social-Emotional Learning
Class Meetings & Restorative Practices Circles
Dialogue Journals
My students keep pushing the boundaries, even though they should know the rules, know what to do by now, etc.
Agree. They should know. But clearly, they don’t. So it’s time for review.
*Teach the rules and procedures again, as if it’s the first week of school. Go over every single one. Tell them why it’s important, how it helps them, and how it helps the classroom community. Show examples of what NOT to do (this can be fun if you’re comfortable with acting things out), but then immediately show them what TO do.
*Do this every day, and more than once a day if needed, for about three days. (“About” means if you see improvement before three days have gone by, you can stop the review for now. If you’re still seeing the same stuff every day, keep the review going.) If/when they ask you why you’re still reviewing, explain that good teachers review until their students show that they have learned it.
*If you haven’t implemented consequences for not following the rules, it’s time to start. Follow your school’s guidelines.
*Now for the hard part: show no mercy and be consistent. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Implement those consequences without getting angry or giving a lecture. Implement them every single time with every single student who breaks the rules or does not follow procedures.
*At least one of these consequences should involve notifying parents/caregivers. Sometimes this takes care of the behavior right away, but not always. Continue to be a “burr under the saddle” of the parent/caregiver anyway. You are acting in the child’s best interest when you continually notify their caregivers about their behavior.
*Document the behavior and the consequence. You can use a simple class checklist for this and create your own codes for how often the behavior and the consequence are happening. (This documentation will help greatly when you speak with parents/caregivers and your administration.)
Most of my class is following the rules, but I have a few students who continue to defy them.
Annoying. I agree.
*Here is a basic “rule” about children: the more adults talk, the less children listen. Also, when we talk too much we tend to sound more like we’re trying to persuade students to behave rather than implementing consequences.
*Keep implementing the consequences, but take it up a notch. You’re going to have to find what matters to them. If they value social time, maybe they need to sit apart from everyone else for a period of time or have silent lunch on the days they need a consequence.
*Continue to teach your rules. Follow through like you’re a robot and implement those consequences.
*As much as possible, let the punishment fit the crime. If they are abusing technology, they lose the privilege of using technology for a period of time. If they are talking at inappropriate times, they lose the opportunity to talk at social times (such as lunch). If they are not getting work completed, they will need to complete it while other students are having free time. (More about that later.)
*Keep in mind that students who continue to act out really do want you to be the grown-up and to be in charge. They are trying to find their boundary lines. Show them where those boundary lines are! That helps them to feel safe and to settle into learning. Say what you mean and mean what you say. This shows all of your students that you are safe and that you can be trusted.
*Contact parents or caregivers. Explain the rule, tell them what the child is doing (or not doing), and ask for their help with the behavior. (Most of the time, they help. Sometimes, they don’t. Continue to contact them anyway. They can’t then say that they didn’t know what was happening.)
*If you haven’t already, you will need to involve a school counselor, your administrators, and possibly a social worker. Tell them about what you’ve tried, the results you’ve gotten (good and bad), and ask them for their guidance and suggestions.
My students talk or blurt out ALL the time.
*Talk to the whole class about the problem. Be sure to describe all kinds of inappropriate talk (blurting out, starting side conversations, talking during lessons, or while directions are being given). Tell them how it impacts your teaching and their learning. You might even ask for their suggestions about how to curb the talking.
*Next you’ll need to implement consequences. You might try having a private conversation with individual students first and see if they can work on solving the problem.
The first consequence to consider would be to take away social talking time, such as during lunch. They have to sit alone and can’t talk to anyone. Do this for only one day at a time.
Another effective consequence would be to move them away from whoever they are talking to. They might even need to sit on an “island” (all alone) for a period of time.
*Finally, contact parents/caregivers about the problem.
My students are so lazy and unmotivated. They don’t do any work! How can I make them want to do the work?
You can’t. The truth is that you can’t make anybody do anything. You can make things uncomfortable for them in the sense of giving grades, removing privileges, etc., but ultimately – it’s up to them.
*Here’s what you CAN do. First, create and teach the best lessons you can possibly teach. Plan for engagement opportunities (see my posts about that HERE and HERE). Be friendly, be encouraging, be as interesting as you can possibly be.
*Next, stop begging them to do the work!
One thing I have done is to have a 1:1 meeting with a student about their work habits and lack of work completion. I tell them what I have noticed and ask what they see. I ask what might be getting in the way of their getting work done, wanting to complete assignments, etc. (I often learn a lot of things in these meetings that I did not know before which helps me gain a better understanding of the student and their world.)
I acknowledge that I cannot make them do anything, but that I want to do my best for them and I want to help them succeed. It is their job to do the learning work. Finally, I ask them to tell me what I can do for them, how I can help them, etc. We make an “agreement” with what I will do and what the student will do.
Does this solve every problem? Not necessarily. But it does make a big difference and is worth a try. For the student to see that you are taking the time to talk to them, listen to them, and to try to understand what is going on with them goes a long way toward building the relationship with the student.
*If they are perfectly capable of getting the work done, try sending the work home with them and alerting parents/caregivers about why they have extra work to complete. Another option might be a working lunch if you’re able to have them sit apart from the class, eat their lunch, and complete the work.
My students are misusing classroom seating. They put their feet up on tables, stretch out on the floor, spin around on stools. They throw the pillows in the reading corner and leave it a mess. It’s driving me crazy!
*A quick lesson on “this is the appropriate learning posture for school” will help. Show them how you want them to sit. Show them what you do NOT want to see them do. Then model the correct way again. Tell them to take notice of how they feel when they are sitting up straight and tall, not sprawled out everywhere.
*If you have a “cozy corner” or comfy reading spot and that area is being abused, take it away for awhile. Tell them that the cushions, pillows, etc. will return when they show you that they can use the area responsibly. (When you see better classroom seating behavior, consider returning just one item at a time.)
*If you see that many of your students are fidgeting or wiggly, it’s time for a movement break! You can use a site like GoNoodle, you can play some music and let them dance or just stand up and walk around, you can take them outside for a quick walk or jog around a safe outdoor area, you can do some yoga poses. This doesn’t have to take a long time, but it can make a world of difference.
My students seem to be addicted to technology. Even when we’re not doing an assignment using computers, they still open them up and go on game sites or YouTube.
*It’s time for a quick lesson on “this is when we use Chromebooks and this is when we do not.”
*If your district provides some sort of technology monitor (such as Go Guardian), USE IT! And implement consequences (such as locking a student’s device) if they misuse technology.
*Make sure that you can see student screens at all times. They should not be allowed to be in unsupervised spaces or with their backs against the wall when using technology. That is a safety concern. If, for some reason, you are not able to monitor their technology use (because you are doing small group instruction, for instance), then don’t allow any technology at all.
My students talk back about EVERYTHING.
*Stop. Fix them with a teacher look. Then say something like, “That was a disrespectful response. Try it again.” If they seem to have no idea of how to “fix” what they said, model a possible response for them and have them repeat it.
*Try not to have this be a public thing, but that may not be possible. Address the disrespect anyway.
*If you will have a chance to talk to the student in private within a few minutes, consider saying something like, “That was a disrespectful response. We’ll discuss it in a few minutes/before recess/at lunch, etc.”
*If a student calls you inappropriate names (it happens), stay calm. If you have a way of having the student take a break, ask them if they need that. Do not engage with them. They are clearly frustrated and not able to be reasonable or respond to you in any sort of positive way. This behavior would be a good example of something that needs to be “written up” and turned in to administration.
*When the student is in a more calm state, have a quiet chat with them (privately, if possible). Assure them of your care and concern for them. Let them know that you are here for them, even when they are upset. Let them talk about what happened and (hopefully) discuss ways to handle the situation differently in the future.
My students seem to have no social skills whatsoever.
*You’re probably right about that. We might need to think of them as being two to three years younger than they really are. If you can see them that way, it will help you to have a bit more compassion.
*Consider some social skills training. Read some books about manners. Some favorites include:
Do Unto Otters by Laurie Keller
Dude, That’s Rude! by Pamela Espeland
A Kid’s Guide to Manners by Katherine Flannery
*Model some social behaviors like saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” and let your students practice. Model having a polite conversation with someone else and asking them questions about themselves, then allow them to practice.
My students are often talking about inappropriate topics or using inappropriate terms they’ve heard on social media.
*Use Urban Dictionary or just google words/phrases they say. Talk to them privately about what they said and what it really means. (Believe it or not, sometimes they don’t know. They’ve just heard it somewhere and think it makes them sound cool.)
*If they do know what it means and show no remorse, ask, “ “would you say that to your grandma? Then don’t say it here at school.” Another option is to calmly say, “_______ is not a school word. You are not allowed to use that word at school.” The end. (Of course, if they do say it again, your consequences will need to escalate.)
*Call parents/caregivers, preferably with the student present. Tell the caregiver that you hate to call them with bad news, but that their child is choosing to say some inappropriate things and you know that they would not be happy about that and would want to know about it right away. Then put the child on the phone and let them tell the adult what they said. This tends to be pretty effective.
*For more about cursing and how to handle inappropriate talk, here are some helpful tips from We Are Teachers.
I have several other posts that give more detail about student behaviors:
How to Deal with Difficult Students Without Losing Your Mind
How to Do a Midyear Reset in the Classroom
How to Keep Your Students Motivated & Engaged at the End of the Year
What to Do When the Back to School Honeymoon is Over
January Reset for Teachers – 10 Tips for Classroom Environment
January Reset for Teachers – 12 Tips for Resetting Classroom Expectations
How to Re-Focus Your Students
How to Get Your Students to Follow Your Directions the First Time
How to Motivate Your Students to Work Harder Than You’re Working
How to Refocus Your Students
I hope that that some of these tips will be useful to you! I’d love to hear what worked and what you still need help with. I’m here for you!
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The post Are Irritating Student Behaviors Getting You Down? Here’s Some Help! first appeared on Still Teaching, Still Learning.
