Life can get a bit crazy sometimes and then it finally calms down sometimes you look at where you are and nothing looks familiar.

That’s my life for the past two years. Everything changed. My marriage ended. I moved into my studio. I left a religion that I had practiced my entire life. I lost most of my friends. I was in new territory. I felt like I had been dropped off alone in the Alaskan Tundra. Do you ever feel that way?

It’s not fun and it tears you up inside. I was all alone. At least I felt like it. There were times when I would be alone for a week at a time and not talk to anyone. I would sit at my house, Broken and penniless and get mad at the world.

The thing is you can only do that before so long and then you have to decide if you are beaten or you if you need to get up.

I decided I had to get up. I couldn’t be beaten. I had 3 three things that drove me. My Children.

Day after day I would miss them and dream of better days when we would go camping and travel and take photos and see the world.

I had up and downs and in and outs and all kinds of shit but the dream of spending time with them is what made me change.

That was just over a year ago.

In the last year a lot has changed. I have friends. I am Learning to trust again. I have rules I live by.

I do my best every day. I am honest again. I understand what real Love is. I look for the beauty that others don’t see.

Yeah, I was lost but I found a stream and followed it down through the fields and across the meadow and over the rocks and now I am home. I am happy and every day things look different and better.

I alway believed that you have to enjoy your journey but I didn’t really know how to.

The journey can be terrible and sometime you hate it but it’s not the bad day or the year you have. It’s about not letting life beat you. It’s about taking the leap of faith when there is no soft landing. It’s about learning to love who you are and learning how to love others. Most of all it’s about sacrifice for the ones you love and not putting things that should come first second.

So, I am here and everyday is a struggle but every day is also and new adventure.

I never want to go back and I wouldn’t trade my past for anything. It’s taught me who I should be and without it I would be a nobody.

To all my friends who stuck around and all the friends I have made. You don’t know how much you mean to me.

To my children. Someday I hope you know that everything I do is for you.

When it comes down to the skinny. Thank you to those who I love. You are the reason I made it!

Brian