It has been a rough week, I got to play video games with my uncle and now have a 4.0 going through two semesters in college which is a welcome surprise. When it comes to the whole thing though there is always places to excel and this leads me to my work. Summer semester is currently in doubt because of issues from Vocational rehab after finding out the grants will not help in the summer.

There has been work on the project front and all things willing should be starting out to go to farmers markets to talk to people and see if a couple could try my products. Part of me has been wondering despite all the trying and efforts if I am good enough to do it and maybe instead I am just hopped up on my own ego.

During my whole life growing up up until me leaving. I cannot tell you times I had been struck by my family, but I can count on my hands during that time how many hugs I had gotten. There had been always a kind of prove it culture growing up in my family and part of me thinks that chasing all these goals has been a dark evolution of my determination due to that sort of thing.

Does this mean I am going to stop. Fack no. I look at my goals more then talk to some friends what it does mean though is it often leads me to think that maybe stuff like this is only how I will ever find myself in a better situation of living. There is a want to change the world, to make it better and there are multiple ways currently being used. Seeing my city fall to disrepair, to squalor still kills me for Portland is a beautiful city and it is going to be that way again and the world will be better, but first I need to find skills and grow my ways in more then ever before.

To the future, stay strong.