Staff Nurse Eden Granger – Diary – Entry Twenty Seven

I’d never really liked night shifts. Nobody in the hospital does, but needs must, and all that. 

The hospital is so quiet at night, and it’s always creeped me out a little. That’s why I started keeping this diary. 

It’s normally mundane stuff about how many biscuits I’ve had, or what gossip I’ve been able to hear on my shift. Just cataloguing all the boring, normal stuff that happens on shift so I can remind myself that the hospital being eerily quiet is actually a blessing. 

I miss things being boring and normal. 

I’m not sure that I can explain what happened tonight, but I will try my best. 

It began as a blissfully boring night. I did the medication round and got started on paperwork. It was quiet, as usual. I was sat in the nurse’s station catching up on care plans, when the lights began flickering up above me. 

It’s hardly unusual. Unfortunately, the hospital, like most across England is in a bit of a state. We get flickering lights and weird stuff like that every now and again, but it’s just the building feeling a little unwell. 

Well, normally it is, but I’m starting to think that tonight, it could have been something else. 

There have been over twenty normal night shifts since I began this diary, and a part of me wants, so badly, to believe that this was just a normal night. 

I keep telling myself that I’m being silly. It was just some flickering lights and the creepy quiet of the night. Right? That’s all… 

Maybe I was dreaming? Could it have all been a strange and unsettling nightmare? 

Perhaps, if I was awake, and everything was real, there is an explanation. 

People do crazy things when they’re ill, I suppose. That’s probably all that it was. 

We’ve got a Patient in, he’s recovering from an appendectomy, and everything should have been simple with his care. 

He had been given pain meds during my first rounds, and had settled into sleep at about nine. There had been no complications from the surgery, and nothing should have gone wrong. 

I can’t explain it. 

He should have been fast asleep. He’d had his pain medication, and he’d been up all day. It was baffling that he was awake in the first place. 

He pressed the bell and one of the care assistants, Alice rushed over to his room to check on him. A few seconds later, she came running back out again, screaming the place down and making such a scene. 

I went over to check what was going on and Alice fell into my arms. I was astounded as blood poured from her neck. There was a huge wound, and as another care assistant joined me, we couldn’t get her to tell us what happened. 

She was shaking, her arms clutched around my neck as she stared up at me with fevered, frightened eyes. 

The patient threw the door open and glared over at us. His gown was covered in blood and his eyes were frantic. Alice cowered as the patient advanced towards us. His mouth dripping with scarlet.

“Alice wouldn’t listen to me!” He bellowed, as we backed away, dragging Alice with us. “She’s coming, and Alice just wouldn’t listen!” The security staff finally arrived, and began restraining him. He spat and screamed as they tried to force him back to bed. 

A few of the other care assistants helped Alice onto a trolley and began taking her down to A&E, and I followed the security guards into the patient’s room, flinching as I noticed that my hands were still covered in Alice’s blood. 

I had no idea why he had attacked Alice. From what A&E can tell us, he bit her, repeatedly, so deeply that it almost reached the bone. They’d never seen anything like it from a human bite. 

Neither have I, and I’ve been a nurse for three years. 

I watched the security guards bundle him onto the bed, as he thrashed and hollered, wondering if I might get some kind of explanation from him, but… well… this is the part that I can’t explain. 

He looked at me. Right at me, and he headbutted the nearest security guard. Chaos spilled across the small side room as he launched at the other security guard, punching him straight in the throat. The guard crumpled, falling to the ground in a heap. The guards struggled to their feet but the patient was already running across the room towards me. 

I didn’t know what to do, freezing up and falling back against the door as he approached. 

Was I about to die?

That was what I asked myself, on repeat, as the seconds stretched out, endless and unforgiving. 

He stopped, just an inch from my face. Our eyes met, as sweat poured down his strained, blood stained cheeks. I asked myself the question again. 

Was I about to die?

“She’s here, Nurse Granger.” He whispered, and then, without another word, and with one last, lingering, almost sad look, he fell into my arms, lifeless and lost. 

He was dead. Nobody could understand how it happened, or any of the events of last night. 

It was far from the usual creepy but uneventful night shift. I thought that writing it down would make it make a little more sense, or take away some of the fear I feel when I remember what happened, but it hasn’t helped. 

I can’t stop thinking about it. Round and round it goes, taking up every inch of my brain. 

Something went on in the hospital. Men don’t just attack people and then drop dead after having their appendix taken out. That’s insane. Something went on last night, and the only person who could tell me more is in a fridge at the mortuary. 

I have another night shift tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I keep wondering if last night was just a dream, but the reports piling up in my inbox make it hard to write off as a dream. 

Perhaps tomorrow, I’ll find out more? I’m not sure that I want to. 

-x-

Staff Nurse Eden Granger – Diary – Entry Twenty Eight

Hello again Diary,

How are you? 

I’m exhausted.

Months of normal night shifts go by, and then suddenly, I’m trapped in this weird cycle of dreadful events. 

It’s almost unbelievable. 

It would be, entirely, if I hadn’t seen what has unfolded with my own eyes. 

… but, still. Perhaps I’m just tired? Maybe my exhausted eyes have conjured these terrifying visions? Is everyone else as tired as me? The care assistants? The porters? The coroner?

We are all seeing the same thing. It all began on my last night shift and as I headed into this one, I was dreading it. 

I had barely slept during the day. I’d tried, but every time I started to drift off, I’d hear him. The patient. Right up close to my ear, whispering those last words. 

“She’s here, Nurse Granger.” 

I tried to ignore it, but it chased me through my flat, from the sofa, to my bedroom, to the shower, to the kitchen. 

He was everywhere, and she, whoever the strange voice warned of, was somewhere close too. 

As I got to work, the day staff were tired but cheery, but all of the night staff looked like they’d seen a ghost. Almost every single one of us was exhausted and haunted. 

Alice wasn’t in, obviously, so we had an agency staff member, who was bright eyed and bushy tailed when he started. Not so much by the end of the shift, though. 

I think that we saw her tonight. Her… you know… HER. Like the patient said. She is here. Maybe. It could all still be just a dream, or a trick of tiredness, but, I find it hard to believe that we’d all see the same thing. 

Most of the shift was quiet, but about an hour ago, the lights started flickering again. Normally it wouldn’t phase me, but the second I noticed, I was on edge. 

One of the porters ran to the nurse’s station, and though we didn’t say a word, I knew that we were thinking the same thing. 

It wasn’t a building maintenance issue.

The patients began to get restless. Call buttons were flashing from every room as the lights flickered and the patients called out, their voices dripping in distress as they screamed the same thing. 

“She’s here, Nurse Granger.” 

All around me, those same words, repeated and relentless. Their voices, frantic and panicked as I watched each patient pulling the blankets over their heads, still repeating those words. 

“She’s here, Nurse Granger.” 

And then, there she was, just out of the corner of my eye, just out of sight. A dark blur and a hummed song that seemed to follow me everywhere I went. Always just out of sight. Sometimes, right behind me, almost on top of me, but always gone when I dared to look. 

The same song, for hours now, slow and sad as the night goes on. 

I don’t know what I saw, but the porter saw it too. 

We’ve been sat together while I do care plans, and he came with me to check on all the patients. 

They wouldn’t come up from under the blankets. Not a single one. From what I can tell, they’re all still stable, but something has scared them so badly that they’re hiding away under the blankets. 

I’ve paged a doctor, but it could take a while for them to get here. 

As we came back to the nurse’s station just now, Luke (that’s the porter) asked if we were going to die. I smiled warmly and told him not to be so silly, but between you and me, I’m not so sure. 

-x-

Staff Nurse Eden Granger – Diary – Entry Twenty Nine

I survived the rest of the night and so did Luke. I’m back in tonight after two days off and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bricking it.

I’ve had two days off, but no rest. I can’t get her out of my head. That song, again and again, all of the time.

Alice is back, but something has changed. She doesn’t seem worked up like the rest of us. In fact, it is the calmest I’ve ever seen her. She won’t stop smiling. She just wanders around in a dazed dream, happy as a clam. 

The weather has been miserable for days. I haven’t seen a ray of sunshine since it started. Ever since I left the hospital, the rain hasn’t stopped. Thunder bellows while lightning strikes high in the eternally dark sky, and her song is interwoven in the chaos of the seemingly endless night. 

The shift tonight started hectic and never really let up. The day staff looked tired and jumpy, rushing to get out of the hospital as if their lives depended on it. 

Much like the storm, the strange atmosphere had snaked into the daylight hours and was choking the life right out of them. The day shift was beginning to understand what we already knew.

We knew that something was wrong, but we didn’t know why. We didn’t truly know her, and perhaps, we never will. All that we know is that she stalks the shadows of this place. 

We do not know why, or even how, but we’ve all seen her. The patients stay put, under their blankets, day and night, and whenever we leave the hospital, we are drained and desperate for it to be over, but there is no escape. 

I see her everywhere, and everyone else around me does too. I found one of the care assistants running through the hallway last night, tears streaming down her face, absolutely hysterical. She said that she was being followed. It was HER. You know… Her. I don’t know what we should call her. I don’t even know if she’s real. 

I hold on to the hope that she isn’t real, but I’m losing my grip with every second. 

The care assistant was a mess, pointing behind her, and I could see what she was pointing at… but I couldn’t look. I didn’t want to look. Please don’t make me look. 

I looked at Alice. Alice was standing a little closer to us, in the same hallway, giggling and smiling like the cat who broke into the cream factory and won the lottery on the same day. 

Smug cow. 

I’m starting to hate Alice. That thing doesn’t want to play with her anymore. Alice gets it easy, just because she was attacked by the patient, who also gets it easy, because he’s dead. 

I’m starting to think that dead is better, like they say in those movies. 

The patient from before is pretty relaxed. I still remember the look in his eyes as he died in my arms, but now he looks so pleased. Cool as a cucumber, to the touch and in terms of attitude. Harry, he’s calling himself. I can’t remember if that was his name or not, but it doesn’t seem important now. He just saunters round the ward with a big grin, waving and smirking at Alice, who waves and smirks back. 

We cower and cry while that thing tears the walls off of our reality, and they just… chill out.  

Why can’t that be me? Why can’t I have that peace? What did I do to deserve this? What does she want from me? What does she want from me? What can I offer her?  What does she want from me? What does she want from me? What does she want from me? What does she want from me? What does she want from me? Who can I offer her? What does she want from me? 

Oh my God. 

What am I saying? 

What am I seeing? 

Jesus Christ Eden! Pull yourself together! 

It’s not real. None of this can be real!

Shadowy creatures don’t just creep around hospitals. The dead don’t appear back on the ward, and those who are stable do not just suddenly die. 

She says that we are healing. She’s humming her little song, and whispering that to me again and again. 

“You are healing.”

Healing from what? I do not know. Healing how? I do not know. 

Luke says that it will be alright. I think he’s just trying to stop me from crying. Your pages are all wet, and I am so tired. 

It will be alright, won’t it, diary? 

Sometimes, I wonder if we have all gone mad at the exact same moment. Something bad broke into each of us and the world around us won’t stop weeping. 

That must be it. 

It can’t be real. 

Collective madness. 

Collective madness on top of shit wages and backache. Could my life get any sweeter? 

-x-

Staff Nurse Eden Granger – Entry Thirty

Second entry in this shift. It’s been a long old night, diary. I’m starting to think that it will never end. 

Every minute feels like a lifetime. Every hour is an eternity. 

She hums her song, and the call buttons cry out, up and down the ward. The patients wail and warble, all screaming the same thing. 

“Heal us!”

I try. Honestly, I really do. I try everything. The doctor comes round, but he just stares solemnly at me, his gaze, glacial as it greets the glum patients and all of the staff. 

The patients fall apart, one by one. Stable one second, flatlining the next. It doesn’t make any sense. I’m running out of patients, but I’m not running out of time. Time is as slow as I’ve ever seen it, and it is a cruel beast. 

The rain batters the windows, flowing down from the roof like a river of sadness, and I am consumed by my lonely duty to carry on. 

I don’t know what to do. I write it all down, hoping that I can rearrange the words so that they’ll make sense, but I can’t think straight when she won’t shut up. 

There are ten of the patients left on the ward in the state that they should be in. The rest, five or six of them, have joined Harry and Alice. They wander the ward, reminding us that she is here, flies flitting in and out of their rotting mouths as the clock mocks me with its slow ticking. 

She says that I’m healing, but the sickness goes on and on. 

She says that I am a healer, but they all slip through my fingers. 

“Heal us!” They cry. 

I’m trying. 

-x-

Staff Nurse Eden Granger – Entry Thirty One

Hello diary. 

She says to say hello. 

She says that we are healing, and that everything will go as it must. The patient had to die. His body could not contain all of her love and care, you see. So weak. So spoiled. Unable to survive the current, but now, he’s free and floating down the river of happiness. 

Not entirely sure of what the river of happiness is. She didn’t actually say that, it just sort of… fell out of my mouth. I said it to a patient, and then one of the Alice said it, and then Luke, and then Harry, and the patient burst into tears, begging to go home. 

None of us may go home until we are healed. 

Nothing can be done until we are healed. 

There is no home without healing, I told them. To heal, one must go down the river of happiness! What that is? We do not know. Who she is? We do not know? Why did this happen? We do not know, BUT, there can be no healing without taking the journey. 

Harry knows. He thought it, and then I said it, and then Alice said it, and then Luke, and then Harry. It jumped from his jumbled up brain to my jumbled up mouth, and we were healed by the very suggestion of healing. 

I let her heal me, and now, all of my patients will be well again. Just wait and see Diary. 

I’m healing the day shift staff too. They looked so defeated when they arrived, but I took them in my arms and I let them have the peace they have been craving. 

It’s so quiet, afterwards. I never really considered that, but I suppose it makes sense. The lights are all out, and she closes your eyes, and helps you down the river of happiness. It’s all over. No more fighting. No more running. No more rent to pay. No more heartbreak. No more backache. 

I’m not dead, yet, but maybe one day, I will be, like the others. 

I don’t know why she came, but it worked out in the end. The day shift will see that soon, and everyone that we meet. Everyone will see how good it feels to be healed. 

Sometimes, a little thought or two pops into my mind, but she hums her little song, and I am healing all over again. 

There is nothing but healing, and the promise of the river. Soon, we will all be home, and this will feel like a wonderful, wonderful dream. 

It must be a dream, diary. It simply must, because my hands are so slippery, and your pages are dripping in tears and in blood, and it must be a dream, because I could not have done this, and I could not have seen this, and she could not have made me do this, and… 

I am healing. 

I am healing. 

I am healing. 

I am…