10 Ways to Align Our Heart

In other parts of the Next Right STEPS material, we saw how we can use our heart to determine the values we use to guide our life. We identified five universal values we can consistently rely on: meaning, purpose, identity, contribution, and community.

But as we go through a normal day, how do we make good choices that move us in the right direction?

We apply those five universal values to “get right with God, get right with ourselves, and get right with others” to help us choose our next right steps. In each area, there are probing questions we can ask ourselves to help align our heart so we can choose wisely.

Think of a decision you need to make, a problem you are facing, or an opportunity you are deliberating about. Scan the ten questions below and pick the ones that fit the situation and write down your answers to those questions:   

Get right with God (check our direction by looking for Meaning)

Evaluate the options by taking into account things that have the most Meaning such as our faith, values, character, and family.

1. Is there a “right and wrong” answer? If one option honors God more than others, our choice is simple: do the next right thing.

It would be easy, and no one would ever know. Tom had been sweating through his tax returns when he noticed a place where he could fudge the numbers and save thousands of dollars. His family had been through a lot, and they needed the money. It wouldn’t hurt anybody, and it seemed almost fair in a way. With a guilty start, Tom came to his senses: he was rationalizing something that was clearly wrong. It hit him that the best way he could take care of his family was to just keep doing the next right thing.      

Next Right Step: Think of 3 situations where you are sometimes tempted to do the wrong thing.

2. Which option is most important in the long-term? We find meaning by focusing our time on things that are bigger than us.

Allison hopped out of bed and walked into her home office to click on her laptop. She wanted to jump on emails that had come in and fire off some of her own. She worked her to-do list, taking pride in crossing off items. An hour into her work, she realized she hadn’t done her quiet time of Bible reading and prayer that morning. Skipping that time had become the norm rather than the exception, even though she knew it was important. She thought for a moment, then reached over and closed her laptop.

Next Right Step: Pick 1 thing that is important in your life that you can make progress on every day.

“Eternity is at our hearts, pressing upon our time-torn lives, warming us with intimations of an astounding destiny, calling us home upon Itself.” (Thomas Kelly)

Get right with God (check our direction by searching for Purpose)

Choose options that will position us to live with Purpose and find significance by being part of something much bigger than us.  

3. How do our strengths and experiences prepare us? We are designed with unique talents to achieve a purpose specific to us.

Andy could feel his heart beating faster as he set his phone down. He was flattered and excited about the job the headhunter was recruiting him for but torn over the decision. He loved his current position, he was good at it, and it brought him satisfaction. The new job involved activities that weren’t in his sweet spot, but it paid a lot more, and it would be fun throwing the “VP” title around at the club. Wait a minute: he had just confirmed he loved his current position! He knew what the right answer should be.   

Next Right Step: For 5 minutes, brainstorm your strengths and write them down in a list.

4. Deep down, what do we feel we are called to do? We can live a life of adventure by pursuing goals that lead to significance.

Mandy loved helping people, especially those who were unable to take care of themselves. Taking care of her kids when they were sick had been meaningful. Looking after her Mom as she got older hadn’t been a chore but a calling. Now, with the kids out of the house and her Mom gone, she had extra time on her hands. Just this morning, her friend had mentioned a volunteer opportunity at the hospital to serve as a nurse assistant a couple of mornings a week. She felt herself being pulled strongly toward saying, “Yes.” 

Next Right Step: Close your eyes and dream for a minute. Imagine you could do anything you wanted to find purpose and achieve your potential in life. What are the dreams of your heart?

“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” (Confucius)

Get right with ourselves (check our behavior by confirming our Identity)

We each have a unique Identity with strengths and weaknesses, and we should take that into account when making decisions.  

5. Are we being influenced by negative thinking? We all have “inner voices” that speak shame, fear, and discouragement into our lives, so we must be vigilant about choosing to ignore them.

Steve is normally happy, content, and excitedly engaged in following his calling in life, but he also has negative voices that whisper to him in the dark. The most persistent voices say things like: “That was stupid, you don’t know what you’re doing. You’re supposed to be perfect, but you’re making some dumb decisions. You’re a fake, and everyone is going to find out. You should be ashamed.” Steve knows he should ignore the voices, but they are insidious and relentless at times, and sometimes they get to him.   

Next Right Step: Write down the 3 most common negative statements you hear in your heart.

6. Which option lets us be who we are meant to be? We can be more content by becoming comfortable with who we are.

Ryan is “real” without having to try to be, and he is comfortable in his own skin. Even during his teenage years when most young people deal with insecurities, he was consistent and content with who he was. He likes being with people but is comfortable alone. He enjoys doing things but doesn’t feel any “fear of missing out” when he doesn’t. Ryan has a few worries and insecurities like every human being on earth does, but they don’t haunt him. He doesn’t think less of himself, he just thinks of himself less.   

Next Right Step: For a choice you need to make, declare that you will “let go” of any feelings about impressing or pleasing other people and think about what the “real you” should do. 

“You’ll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart.” (George Michael)

Get right with ourselves (check our behavior by establishing our Contribution)

We only get one lifetime to make a personal Contribution to the world, and we should be good stewards of our time and resources.

7. Which choice helps us add value to the world? We don’t control our circumstances or outcomes, but we do control the contribution—good or bad—we make to the world each day.

Debbie knows she can be self-absorbed at times. She’s a good person, but she finds herself thinking about what she wants and what will make her feel good much of the time. But she has decided she wants to be less selfish, and she is willing to take steps in that direction. Each morning, she thinks of at least one thing she can do that will add value to someone else’s life, and she looks for the opportunity to do so. That small commitment has changed her entire mindset as she goes through the day. 

Next Right Step: Today, think of one small thing you can do that will add value to someone’s life.

8. When we’re old, will we feel this was, “Well done?” No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes, but we are responsible for making the wisest choices we can.

Carol is a “Type A” person who is always busy, likes to be in control, and is a perfectionist. She suspects she is a workaholic, because she only feels good about herself when she is hard at work and doing well at her job. She heard in church that God loves her unconditionally, not because of her performance, but she has a hard time internalizing that belief. She decided to take a weekend in the mountains to think about life. Now, staring at the sunset, she is pondering what it is that God really wants her to do.       

Next Right Step: Imagine yourself in heaven standing before God and hearing those words spoken in love and pride to you, “Well done!” Think about how that would make you feel.

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.” (Luke 6:45)

Get right with others (check our relationships to move toward Community)

We need to be intentional about moving toward Community in order to bring connection, belonging, and love into our lives.

9. Will this increase our connection with people? We can choose to invest time each day to enhance our feelings of community by taking a few minutes to reach out to someone.

Lisa is a mild extrovert who likes being with people but doesn’t have to be to feel content. She enjoys relationships, and she likes having friends to talk to and hang out with occasionally. But she is not very intentional about texting people to set up time to get together or calling friends to talk on the phone. She’s not lonely, but she’s also not quite as fulfilled as she could be. She makes the decision to take small steps to invest in relationships by texting or calling someone else at least two times each week.  

Next Right Step: Pull out your cell phone, scan your contacts list, and text someone to say, “Hello.”

10. Are we acting with empathy and love for others? Sometimes, the simplest truths are the most useful and profound, including this one: “Treat others as you want them to treat you.”

Ben thinks of himself as a nice person, but he can be impatient and abrupt with others. He is so busy with work and activities that he doesn’t take time for good conversations or to do things for other people. A couple of situations recently gave him a clue that he doesn’t come across as “nice” to some other people. That bothered him and woke him up. Now, when he is talking to someone, he does his best to slow down, focus on them, listen deeply, and try to understand their world as they are experiencing it.

Next Right Step: Think of one person you want to express friendship, appreciation, or love to and do so.

We all want to live the good life, and we yearn to achieve our God-given potential and find significance. By learning to align our heart, we can make good choices that move us in that direction. One at a time, we can keep taking the next right steps.

“You change your life by changing your heart.” (Max Lucado)

Question: Which of the 10 example stories above resembles something you have gone through.

Action: Pick a decision you need to make and use the 10 questions to help you make the right choice.