Waiting to Dance in the Dark

She awoke with a start. She pushed herself upright from the valley in the middle of the futon bed. The colors of the walls were wrong; in fact she could see the walls because they weren’t covered with posters or pictures. Light was splashing across her, giving her a warmth that she wasn’t accustomed to. The blinds were rolled up tight allowing a view of a few potted plants & a decrepit wooden fence.

            Then the teeth of cogs caught each other, gears started to turn and a brain that was reeling from the unfamiliar started to play a history that placed everything together. She had been dancing last night same as always. He was there of course, always was. They had danced a few times before but ever since they made a mutual agreement to attend the advanced class they were long term partners. He wasn’t much of a dancer, but he could fake his way and hold his own. He was charming in his own way.

            On the other hand she was a dancer. The standard jazz and ballet classes that started in childhood and didn’t seem to stop even after you were sure that there was nothing more to learn. She was quiet but not to be mistaken for shy. She enjoyed herself and didn’t need others or drinks to have a good time. When the clock struck eleven she was gone w/o a word, whisked away by silent and unknown responsibilities. She was alluring in her own way.

            He had grabbed her hand. She was startled, her mind already in the car driving to comfortable and inviting bed. He told her that she couldn’t leave yet, that she hadn’t said goodbye. She said goodnight but before she could tack on a see you next week he had her in his arms and was kissing her with gentle force. She pushed herself away, from sheer unexpectedness. He explained himself, that he liked her and would love the opportunity get to know her better. She stood there still,  her body frozen in shock and unsure of what to say or do. The kiss nor his attention were not unwelcome, god knows that she silently wished for just such an occurrence. He though, ever aloof and always dancing with someone was a surprise. A romantic kiss on the eves of midnight and the twist of longing that was so visible in his face an abnormal departure from his constant smiles of concentration and raucous laughter. He was genuine in his confession. A confession that gave her the whole picture so she could start to put the disparate puzzle pieces together. But she needed time still; she had to say something now to save the moment.

            But after only two seconds he mercily ended her own consternation by kissing her once, this time on the cheek and without a hint of the passion that must have stirred within him for him to make that first kiss. A goodnight with a hope that he would see her next week was issued from his lips. He turned and went back into the bar without as much as a backwards glance. With everything out on the table he didn’t want to give a hint that he was sick to his stomach with anticipation and that her silence had sent nervous shivers down his spine. The ball was in her court and the only thing he could do was be confident in himself.

            He collected himself in the bar where the prying eyes belonged to transient visitors or patrons too involved in drunken conversations. She collected herself as in the quiet car on the long drive home. He thought he had been to bold. She thought that she hadn’t been receptive enough or at all really. He hoped that he would still have a partner on Monday, after all every time he tried to get close to someone they just ran away without a word. She was hoping that she could make up for her silence; after all he was exactly what she had wanted. The days went by each one bringing fears that had been reworked a hundred different ways. Work and friends could only provide a temporary relief from the nagging thoughts that plagued them both.

            He was sitting at the bar when she walked in. she touched his shoulder with a light tap to announce herself, a slight twist in each direction as she was prone to doing when anxious or excited. He turned round and smiled upon recognizing her. He extricated himself from the conversation and she pulled him out to the front where a week ago things had started. Without hesitating for a single moment she pulled him to herself and upon tippy-toes gave him a kiss.

A smile swept across his face and he kissed her back in return. Two self-conscious –but more so filled with relief— hi’s echoed each other. His hands ran down her arms until settling upon her hands whereupon his fingers played about in a happy dance until his pointer finger was wrapped around her own. She asked, “Shall we dance?”