We’re sitting on the bleachers, facing the wrong direction of course. The view is incredible, downtown San Francisco lit up in the twilight, Alcatraz’s light house sweeping the bay with its bright white ray, the yellow lights outlining the arches of the Golden Gate Bridge and a red light for each tower. You rest your head on my shoulder.

“I think it’s interesting that we are so afraid. The last thing that we really want to do is be embarrassed by some impossible to avoid mistake.”

Your head moves off of my shoulder. You gaze at me before you speak.

“You say that like you aren’t afraid.”

My eyes watch stay on the scene of the bay, watching the horizon fade from the brilliant oranges of a fresh sunset to the darker blues and purples of the oncoming night.

“Of course I’m afraid. I’m afraid a lot of the time but I’m also stupid a lot of the time.”

Your hand slides across the bleachers to find mine. When it does, you squeeze my hand in reassurance.

“Stupid?”

I look at you now though the lack of light makes it hard to see anything.

“I don’t believe in bravery. I think we are just ignorant of the real amount of danger. It’s a cognitive slip. We make Freudian slips when under the stress of attraction. We have tip of the tongue syndrome when simply trying to converse with another person. Why can’t we also have a mental failure at the time of an emergency?”

You look up. The moon is hiding beyond the hills behind us, and the first few stars are shining fiercely.

“And what about firefighters? They go into burning buildings.”

I laugh good-naturedly. You never cease to deconstruct whatever I say.

“And what if they don’t go into the burning building? They weigh danger and safety just the same. They only have a different perception.”

You laugh back at me.

“You’re such a cynic.”

I smile at you with the satisfaction of knowing that you don’t believe such things.

“The cynic sees only the darkness of the tunnel. The optimist sees only the light enveloping the tunnel. The realist sees the train.”

Your peals of laughter break the dull pandemonium of the city below us.

“Where did that one come from?”

I’m staring off into the distance now, paying attention to nothing but you beside me.

“We were eating pho after yoga and before frozen yogurt.”

You pull up your hood, sheltering yourself from the cool night air.

“Oi! You’ve had lots of yoga yogurt nights before me.”

You scoot closer to me and softly lay your head back against my shoulder. I lean back against you, my head resting against your own, and my arm wrapping around your waist. The vista once again regains our attention, hypnotizing us.

“Why me?”

The words are soft, melting into the night.

“Why not?”

You jerk upright looking at me accusingly.

“Seriously!”

Avoiding the glare of daggers being thrown my way.

“That’s a stupid question.”

Without looking away from me for a second.

“It’s not. I was sitting there in the bookstore and you randomly decided to start playing tic-tac-toe with me.”

I turn towards you. I can’t keep a straight face. Not tonight.

“You looked bored.”

And with pretend anguish.

“I was reading!”

Our hands are huddling together, taking shelter in the front pocket of your sweat shirt. The bustle of the city rolls up from below, filling the silence between us. The twinkling of the city lights mirrors the twinkling of the stars in the sky. It is unusually clear for the winter, not a cloud in sight nor fog rolling in over the bay.

“Are you hungry? I’m hungry. Let’s go eat.”

Stubbornly.

“I’m not moving until you tell me.”

You take my hand out from the pocket of the sweatshirt and place it within my own sweatshirt. I

“Tell you what?”

A mischievous smile spreads across your face, a knowing smile.

“I know you love me. I just want to know why.”

Laughing. I get up off of the bleachers and face you.

“And how do you know that I love you?”

Looking at each other with soft eyes and soft hearts.

“You fall asleep with me. When we first started dating you’ld never let that happen. You always left saying that you had to wake up early to go for your run or your bike ride. But now you bring your smelly shoes or bike stuff here. When the alarm goes off, you wake up. You pull on your shoes, grab your sunglasses, and give me a kiss on the forehead as if I were a delicate child you were putting to bed. And before I know it, the door shuts and you’re out there putting distance between us.”

With a hint of an exasperated sigh.

“I try not to wake you.”

Looking up at me.

“Why?”

Smirking.

“Because you let sleeping dogs lie.”

You reach up with your body, crossing the small void between us and place a kiss on my cheek. My face flushes with the pale red of a pleasant surprise.

“Stop being silly. You know what I was asking about.”

I wrap my arms around you and place my head atop yours.

“We’ve been dating for what, 10 months? We’ve known each other for 2 years, that in and of itself is a miracle. I don’t usually last very long. I figure people out and that’s it. The game’s over. You still surprise me every single day. Not a very easy thing to do I might add.”

You kiss my neck, the only thing you can reach with your mouth easily.

“You warned me when we first started dating. You said that if I wanted you, never let you go.”

I step back and look at you. The darkness hides the stunning beauty. I have to pull the details forth from my memory and paint you.

“When I was young, I made a promise to myself never to go back. Once you try something, and it didn’t work the first time, why would it work the second time? I liked you. I didn’t want you to leave.”

You look down watching yourself aimlessly fiddle with your hands embarrassed by the vulnerable frankness of my words.

“You were so serious when you said it.”

I turn around, again facing to the great world of life unfurling before us. The red and white lights of cars snaking through the buildings, the whine of Bart as it takes off on its elevated tracks before dipping below ground on the way to San Francisco, the flashing lights and roar of jets taking off from Oakland.

“I mean what I say.”

You took both of my hands into yours and caressed my palms ever so gently with your thumbs. The sensation sent tingles through my body arousing me.

“I know you do. I trust everything you say. Well, unless I know I’m right.”

I walk away into the shadows of the night.

“I really did mean it when I said I was hungry.”

You jump up and run the few feet to catch up to me.

“You eat us out of house and home!”

With a sheepish grin that you can’t see.

“I can’t help it. My stomach has never been tamed.”

Laughing.

“Burritos?”

I lift you up and kiss you.

“Sounds delicious.”