Are you in the divorce process and need legal assistance? Read our 4 family law tips that may help your case, then contact our attorneys now.
1) What to do if You Don’t Have Control of The Finances
A question a lot of clients ask us relates to money in a divorce and who the breadwinner is in a marriage. When a client doesn’t control the money, they can be confused what to do. In that situation, the first thing they need to realize is that you don’t need necessarily to have control over the finances or a job or direct income to you to pay your legal fees or retain an attorney. A lot of times, courts are going to award attorney fee awards along the way to make sure that the marital income and assets is fairly utilized by both sides to have access to legal counsel. The first thing to just take a deep breath over is it’s not a question of not having access to have a lawyer. You unquestionably have access to a lawyer, and most attorneys like ourselves are going to give you a free consultation up front anyway to help you navigate through those situations to not only help you retain an attorney but to pay your bills regularly and continuously each and every day.
In New Jersey and other states, there’s a variety of different statutes that give you access to funds to pay your bills to maintain your lifestyle at some level as you’re going through this legal process. Your spouse cannot cut you off financially and not give you access to money to live your life as you go through this legal process. We’ll help you maintain the lifestyle that you have and create the money that you need to get your legal fees paid, whether it’s at the beginning or the end of the case. Don’t let that be something that keeps you from not making the phone call, because as soon as you’re aware that divorce is even potentially being contemplated, there’s a lot of things that you need to do to protect yourself.
A lot of times, people say that’s just what lawyers say because they just want to get involved to drive up legal fees. This is true. Sometimes lawyers do want to do that, but that’s not what we’re doing. There’s a lot you need to know and understand, and we’re happy to give you a free consultation and guide you in that process. We are Callagy Law.
2) Possession Of Weapons In A Domestic Violence Dispute
In cases involving Domestic Violence, it is very likely that the defendant’s weapons will be seized and forfeited. Those cases involve instances where the defendant is arrested for domestic violence, is convicted of a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence or has a domestic violence restraining order issued against him or her.
In those cases, most likely, the victim will alert the police that the defendant has a weapon. The defendant may also be asked if they have any weapons. When the police go to the defendant’s home to either arrest the defendant or inquire about the domestic violence charge, they are given broad discretion to search the home for the weapons if not just turned over by the defendant.
Once the weapons are seized, it is, in most cases, unlikely that the weapons are going to be returned; however, they will be returned unless a domestic violence restraining order is issued, a crime involving the weapons occurred, or the court finds that there’s another reason to keep the weapons away from the defendant. Once the weapons are seized, the prosecutor has 45 days to determine whether or not they’re going to give the weapons back to the defendant. These weapons can include anything from hunting rifles and shotguns to handguns to even BB guns and pellet guns, even antique guns that may not even work, and in some cases, even some type of antique swords and knives. Any weapon that could be used to hurt or kill someone is basically considered a weapon and will be seized in these cases involving domestic violence. Again, unless a restraining order or a crime has been committed, restraining order’s been issued, or a crime is committed, or there’s another reason, the prosecutor should return the weapons to the defendant who shouldn’t even be a defendant anymore.
In some cases, they are returned, but in a lot of cases, they’re not especially in the event of when a restraining order is issued.Again, the prosecutor has 45 days to decide whether to give them back to the defendant. If not, then the defendant has 60 days to arrange for a transfer or a sale of the weapons. The biggest lesson that we have to learn from this is if you are a defendant and you have been accused of domestic violence, and there is a restraining order hearing, and there’s a temporary restraining order issued against you, it is important to protect yourself and not let the final restraining order be issued against you.
We see a lot of cases where defendants don’t even fight the restraining order; they don’t contest the restraining order. They just literally say okay to the issuance for a restraining order against them thinking it’s no big deal, but as we’ve talked about before, it is a big deal because a violation or even an allegation of a violation for a restraining order also has pretty severe consequences. This affects avid hunters and people who are just law-abiding gun owners. We see a lot of times that people who were in relationships that break up, sometimes they are falsely accused of domestic violence and should not by any means have a restraining order entered against them, but if they don’t contest it or they don’t protect themselves from having a restraining order against them, then their weapons will be seized.
It is important that if you’ve been accused of domestic violence and there’s a restraining order hearing that you seek an attorney who is knowledgeable and experienced in the realm of domestic violence and restraining orders. I have been practicing exclusively family law for 23 years. I am certified by the New Jersey Supreme Court as a matrimonial law attorney. I have represented hundreds of victims and defendants in domestic violence cases.
If you are in the need of any counseling or would like any advice on restraining orders, especially if one is pending against you or if there is one against you and your weapons have been seized, please contact Callagy Law at 201-261-1700.
3) Cohabitation
Cohabitation is defined as an intimate personal relationship in which the couple shares duties and privileges normally associated with a marriage or civil union. That is the legal definition. When cohabitation exists, a former spouse has the ability to seek a termination or suspension of alimony that’s being paid.
People often wonder how they can prove cohabitation. It’s not always an easy thing to prove. We look at things like social media. We will go on Facebook pages, and we’ll see if the couple is vacationing together, if they’re recognized in their social circles as a couple, if they’re at special events together. We will oftentimes hire a private investigator to conduct surveillance and go to a household and see if it’s a boyfriend that is mowing the lawn or doing repairs around the household or other kind of household chores that you would normally associate with a married couple or a civil union.
We’ll also look to intertwined finances. That takes a next step that has to go to the court process, but if they’re sharing expenses, if there’s a joint bank account, if a vehicle is registered at an address, we’ll look at those things to prove cohabitation. Importantly, cohabitation does not mean that they are living together. We do not have to show that they have a common household. It is not something that is critical in proving cohabitation that they are actually living together.
If you or a family member are having challenges with any kind of a family law-related issue including cohabitation, please call us at Callagy Law, 201-261-1700 and talk to one of our family law attorneys. We can help you and guide you through the process.
4) Mediation Parenting
Mediation is an excellent alternative to litigation in many areas of divorce and post-divorce matters. Many people think that mediation is mostly used for financial matters and don’t really think about mediation for custody and parenting time matters. I think that mediation is the perfect forum to discuss and resolve parenting time and custody issues whether that’s in a divorce or post-divorce. The best thing about mediation for parenting time and custody issues is that the mediator and the parties can work together in an environment outside the courtroom that focuses on the best interests of the children. Except in extreme circumstances, most parents want what is best for their child. Sometimes they just have a problem reaching those goals, and sometimes their emotions get in the way of clear thinking.
The process of mediation and selecting the right mediator or selecting the right mediator in the process of mediation is critical. The mediator needs to listen to both partners, realize the both parties have most likely some emotional issues when it comes to their children and the other side, and really get to the root of the problem. Unless the parties can be assured that the mediator and the other side are listening to their concerns, you won’t be able to get to the next level of resolving the issues. In many cases where the conflict is high, you have to start slower, and you work on a month at a time. You work on calendars of who’s going to spend what time with the children, again, always focusing on what’s best for the children considering their age, considering their activities, their school, their social engagements. Once the parties are comfortable with their mediator and know that the mediator and the other side are listening to their concerns, it’s much easier to get to the next step of actually coming up with a schedule for parenting time.
In addition to parenting time, there can be some custody issues. Normally, people are going to have joint legal custody of their children, but that doesn’t mean that they each always have to agree on every single issue. Sometimes people can agree that both parents will have input and be notified of decisions and will be consulted and have the ability to discuss this; sometimes parents will agree that one parent will, for instance, make the end decision in what doctors to bring the child to, and maybe one parent will make the ultimate decision on what extra-curricular activities the child may participate in. In mediation, we can explore these one by one, issue by issue. When left to the courts and the parties litigate custody and parenting time, they tend to dig their heels in the sand a little bit more, and they tend to be less cooperative versus more cooperative with each other. Litigating sometimes brings out the worst in people, whereas I think mediating custody and parenting time issues really bring out the best in people because it needs to be reinforced that the goal is what is in the child’s best interest, not what is in each parent’s best interest, but what is in the child’s best interest.
After the parties are comfortable with the mediator and can express their concerns, and they can express proposals knowing that everything you do in mediation is confidential and can’t be used in a court, I find this is the best alternative. Sometimes in cases that are in a divorce, the court will refer the parties to what we call in-house custody, parenting time mediation, and they do a great job, and sometimes that settles the custody and parenting time issues, but sometimes they need more than what the court can offer, and sometimes there’s just no court case. The parties aren’t in a divorce, or it’s a post-divorce issue, so these types of cases are a perfect fit for mediation and a perfect fit to avoid the emotional and financial toll of litigation. If you need an attorney to assist you in mediation or looking for a mediator, please feel free to contact Callagy Law in Paramus, New Jersey at 201-261-1700.
Are you or a loved one in the divorce process and need legal assistance? After reading our 4 Family Law Tips that may help your case, contact an experienced family law attorney at Callagy Law today for a free consultation and case evaluation.
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