“Change your thoughts and you change your world” Norman Vincent Peale

As moms, it’s easy to get caught up in the mayhem that is family life – the constantly growing to-do lists, financial worries and relationship dramas. Without taking a break, time out to think about all you’ve been blessed with in life, it’s easy to let negative thought patterns take hold.

CEO of Grow, Michelle Kerrigan, believes that making small changes to our lives and how we view circumstances can help to ward off depression, anxiety and panic attacks, and basically result in a better quality life.

1. Surround yourself with positivity

“If you’re surrounded by negativity on a regular basis, it does ultimately change how you think and how you behave. Which does and will ultimately affect your own Mental Health,” begins Michelle. While we’ll always have challenges in our life, she believes that by equipping yourself for these challenges by encouraging more positivity in your life, you’ll be better placed to cope when things aren’t going to plan.

2. Get some perspective

Michelle suggests taking a look at your life – identifying what’s good and what’s not so good – to put things into perspective. “Change what you can, and adjust to and accept what you can’t. If someone is impacting on your life, you can’t change the person, but you can change how you think about that person – it’s around changing behaviours.”

3. Express how you feel

Keeping a journal can really help to put things into perspective. “Life is neither all good or all bad. We all have to learn to live with frustrations, but try to see them as challenges because that’s maturity.”

4. Gratitude

A gratitude journal is one of those really helpful tools that counsellors suggest for those stuck in negative thought patterns. Each night, make a list of what you’re thankful for that day. That could be having a nice lunch with a friend, how your baby made you laugh, the joy you felt when your little girl ran into your arms after school. They might just be little things, but it’s the little things that make up the overall picture.

5. Change your language

Changing your language, both internal and external, can also make a huge difference to the way you view life. So, instead of constantly barraging yourself with ‘shoulds’ and ‘can’ts’, use encouraging, soothing language, one that you’d use with a good friend. For example, instead of saying ‘I should have the washing done by now’, say ‘I’d like to put on a wash now’. Notice the difference? Already you’re putting less pressure on yourself.

6. Self love

“We also need to take care of ourselves – there’s nothing wrong with rewarding ourselves. We should like ourselves, take time out to appreciate the uniqueness,” suggests Michelle.

7. Take responsibility

According to Michelle, taking responsibility of your own life is key to leading a more positive life. “We should be responsible for our own actions, thoughts and feelings and the consequences of those in our lives. If people don’t take responsibility, they become the victim.”

8. Enjoy life

“You can mix activity with periods of calm and reflection. Alot of us don’t give ourselves that space just to be calm,” suggests Michelle. Oftentimes, the calm periods are plagued with that guilty feeling that we should be doing more, leaving little time for ourselves. “This is especially important for mothers. You need your time for your own reflection and calmness. You should be able to have hobbies and interests and fun – these renew our thinking process.”

9. Develop and nurture friendships

“Whatever happens in your life, having one or two good friends that can support you when you’re going through a difficulty – that’s the one thing that will sustain you,” insists Michelle.

10. Personal goals

Setting yourself, and working towards your own personal goals are an important part of living a full and rewarding life. “Goals give us meaning in our lives. But they need to be fluid and flexible,” adds Michelle.

With 550,000 people suffering from depression at any one time, and with one in five people experiencing a panic attack in their lives, the likelihood is that you’ve either suffered from a Mental illness, or you know someone who has. “If you feel you’re struggling, it’s all about getting the right support to get yourself back on track and start living life to its fullest,” she concludes.

GROW is a Mental Health Organisation which helps people who have suffered, or are suffering, from mental health problems. GROW’s mission is to nurture mental health, personal growth, prevention and full recovery from all kinds of mental illness. With a national network of over 130 groups throughout the country, meetings are free and open to all.

Visit grow.ie for more details or call 1890474474

More Websites and Help lines:

Samaritans Phone: 116 123
Pieta House Phone: 01-6235606
Aware Phone: 1890 303 302

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