So dahlink, I don't know about you, but I have had a lot of Skype spam recently. It seems to be replacing that old 'Nigerian scam' bollocks (I never received the $15million that the nob-end promised me).

The bloody gits target single middle-aged women (shit, when did I become part of that demographic?). Then they make the lady fall in love with them before gradually sucking out all their life's savings by pretending to book flights that they never get on.

Today, I was a victim of such an unscrupulous person. So I decided to engage with him in order to understand his modus operandi, and hopefully save other ladies from a similar fate.

[19:05:08] micky.t: hello
[20:52:07] Anne  Dickens: Hello, what's up?
[20:52:29] micky.t: fine
[20:52:39] micky.t: how are you doing?
[20:52:44] Anne  Dickens: So why did you contact me?
[20:53:25] micky.t: close friend
[20:53:38] Anne  Dickens: Who's a close friend?
[20:54:02] micky.t: i mean i wan't us to b close
[20:54:19] Anne  Dickens: Why?
[20:54:44] micky.t: i love everything about you
[20:54:58] Anne  Dickens: Even the fact that I have got a pet Mongoose?
[20:55:36] micky.t: really you look good
[20:56:13] Anne  Dickens: Which bit of me do you like best?
[20:56:24] Anne  Dickens: P.S. my Mongoose is called Dave.
[20:56:56] micky.t: lol
[20:57:02] micky.t: you are not
[20:57:11] micky.t: you are lovely woman
[20:58:14] Anne  Dickens: Did you just use Babelfish to translate the word Mongoose? Did it translate into 'Moose'?
[21:00:32] Anne  Dickens: Thank you, it is very nice of you to say that
[21:02:07] micky.t: so what are you using that animal for?
[21:04:00] Anne  Dickens: He's my pet. I don't use him for anything. I feed him dogfood and baby chicks, and sometimes paint him pink to amuse the neighbours.
[21:04:10] Anne Dickens: I suppose I could use him as a pen-holder, but he would only be able to hold one pen.
[21:04:20] Anne  Dickens: Do you have a pet?
[21:06:55] micky.t: just dog
[21:07:17] Anne  Dickens: What is your dog called?
[21:08:11] micky.t: speed
[21:08:24] micky.t: i call him speed
[21:08:51] Anne  Dickens: You call him speed .... or is his actual name speed?
[21:09:11] Anne  Dickens: big difference
[21:10:15] micky.t: yes that is name
[21:10:35] micky.t: so are you married with kids?
[21:11:23] Anne  Dickens: I LOVE speed .... do you?
[21:11:40] micky.t: lol
[21:11:45] micky.t: yeap
[21:12:31] Anne  Dickens: When you say you love Speed .... do you love the powerdy version or the one with four legs?
[21:12:48] micky.t: hahahaha
[21:13:24] micky.t: are you a tearcher? or lawyer?
[21:13:55] Anne  Dickens: Which would you prefer? And then I will tell you what I actually am
[21:14:35] micky.t: tearcher
[21:14:49] micky.t: lol
[21:14:50] Anne  Dickens: Why?
[21:15:08] Anne  Dickens: Hey. what do you do?
[21:15:20] micky.t: you first
[21:15:22] Anne  Dickens: I bet you are a billionaire right!
[21:16:20] micky.t: ok
[21:16:25] Anne  Dickens: I love Billionaires!
[21:18:17] micky.t: nop
[21:18:40] micky.t: im not a billionair
[21:19:09] micky.t: just work for the gvmt
[21:19:16] Anne  Dickens: Ok  :-(
[21:19:27] Anne Dickens: It's not a dealbreaker as long as you like mongoosi
[21:19:35] Anne  Dickens: (that's the plural of Mongoose)
[21:20:41] micky.t: mmm
[21:21:01] micky.t: you have not tell me what you are doing?
[21:21:08] Anne  Dickens: Dave the mongoose has got a good nose for genuine people ....... and he is currently wafting his tail around your profile ....... VERY good sign <3
[21:21:34] Anne  Dickens: What is GVMT?
[21:22:08] micky.t: what is p.s?
[21:24:02] micky.t: are you there?
[21:25:31] micky.t: hello
[ 21:25:37] Anne Dickens: P.S. means 'post-script' but thinking about it, it could mean 'piss-stain'
[21:26:37] micky.t: lol
[21:28:01] Anne  Dickens: Sorry ... excuse me. you are right. I haven't told you what I am doing. I am currently wearing some red and black polyester underwear
[21:28:53] micky.t: you did tell me nothing
[21:29:14] Anne Dickens: what does GVMT mean? - Great Virginity Movement?
[21:30:23] micky.t: sorry about that
[21:30:43] micky.t: is not gvmt is govt
[21:31:21] Anne Dickens: OK, sorry .....so you work for the government? What so you do?
[21:32:15] Anne Dickens: excuse me ...... damn polyester underwear ....I've had to attach an earthing-strap to stop the constant low-level shocks.
[21:33:00] micky.t: oh that is lovely underwear
[21:52:50] Anne Dickens: Ah you think so?! So what are our next steps? Do you want to visit me in Oxford?
[21:53:16] micky.t: if you wan't
[21:53:18] micky.t: i will come
[21:53:33] micky.t: do you have kids?
[21:54:13] Anne  Dickens: Are you asking about Goat kids, or human kids?
[21:55:28] micky.t: too much question ok
[21:55:36] micky.t: human
[21:55:58] Anne Dickens: Call to micky.t, no answer.
[22:13:23] Anne Dickens: Just trying to get this straight - Which kids do you like - you did ask right? Because I have two kids ..... one is called Jeremy the goat and he likes eating tights, and the other is called Izzy but she prefers spaghetti.
[22:16:27] micky.t: you are weird
[22:17:55] Anne Dickens: Please don't leave me Micky. I love you ..... I want to propagate Mongoosi with you ........
 This is what I reckon micky.t looks like:


So dahlink, have you been subject to any scams recently?