When I was a kid, the cartoon Quickdraw McGraw was a must-watch retro cartoon.
At 36 seconds you can hear Quickdraw say one of his signature lines: "I'll do the thinning around here."
Growing up in the years when this cartoon was popular when girls would make a suggestion, boys, uncles, and uncle figures would say this line, and everyone would laugh. It meant: "Shut up. I'm doing the thinking."
Signs like these tell Women and girls to say the same thing. Perhaps not to all women but to many.
To hear them, you would have to ask them and make it so that they are not unafraid to answer. (Job loss, bullying, ostracizing, threats, physical harm, doxxing, etc...)
So, now that we are in the "don't worry about it" era....are we moving beyond "if you see something, say something"? We're not concerned about being watchful and aware of our surroundings anymore?
"Trusting" that everyone knows which bathroom is appropriate until you realize what world we live in.
The same world where since the beginning of time, Human Beings have done the most evil things to one another and still continue to do.
Where the stronger human beings prey upon the more vulnerable human beings for sport and entertainment.
The same world where girls and women continue to be at enhanced risk of Male violence and too little or nothing at all being done about it.
In general, males and society have never in all of the history of human beings come anywhere close to earning trust on that level with female human beings. Too much male violence. Too little protection, concern, and justice from society.
"Trust" should not even be a word whispered in the direction of girls and women when it comes to our bodies and dignity.
Do you want to be in the vicinity of the path to "trust"? Start by listening and begin changing male behavior so that all human beings are safer.
Women are human beings. We say "no". If you are a decent human being, you will hear that and respect that.
Institutions and establishments that post signs like this must consider where girls and women who are uncomfortable with sharing a restroom with males go?
With sexual assault and physical assault being a long-ignored epidemic, why would any institution discourage girls and women from trusting their own intuition to keep them safe?
Are institutions and establishments that post signs like these signaling that they are choosing to accept full financial accountability for injury or harm in the event of male violence?
Please keep in mind that there will be girls like Sherrice Iverson who are in the company of male family members like.
Would institutions and establishments advise her "don't worry about it"?
"Trust that everyone knows where they belong?"
Would such establishments feel comfortable accepting financial responsibility for what happened to her?
So, What Then?
It is possible to keep everyone safe at the same time.
It is possible to keep everyone safe without demanding that women and girls "keep quiet and allow males to think for us."
It is possible to keep everyone safe without demanding that women and girls "shut up, put a smile on our faces, and pretend to like it."
Demands like these are disrespectful, dehumanizing, and abusive and will always be met with resistance.
My recommendation would be that we move towards three restroom options for all buildings. Female, male, and a third option. All of these must remain accessible for persons with physical disabilities of course.
This would allow safety for all at the same time.
If you remember nothing else remember this. If you don't want to sound like an abusive, suspicious, and creepy predator then avoid putting signs outside of women's restrooms like these. Make it abundantly clear that female safety is a top priority in your establishments through sign and deed.
