"It costs you nothing to just validate another person."

I can think of at least a couple of Grands (grandparents) who would respond: 

"Doesn't matter what I believe. What do you believe, my dear?"

Because the truth is, it does come with a price for an individual to rely entirely on others for their own self-identity.  Self-Validation is a key practice for your self-worth, self-confidence, and living your truest life. 

I remember one of my aunts putting makeup on my face one day. I looked in the mirror and felt so pretty I couldn't wait to show my cousins who were in the home at the time. 

But, when I went to show my cousins they had a strong thumbs-down reaction. At the time it broke my heart and I cried. I mean sobbed like my world was ending, because my adolescent mind heard them say, 'I was ugly and was never going to look any better.' 

See my aunt just happened to be a former Black beauty pageant queen who won against some odds I hadn't yet encountered. That day she told me stories about the cattiness backstage and the racism and how she cried about it too. But our Grands built her up by telling her what she was told me that day.  

"Take people's opinions and let them make you better than even they ever dreamed but don't ever let them break you." 

So later that day after I stopped crying, I heard my cousins out. To be truthful, my cousins were right. My aunt is a few entire shades lighter than me and her makeup probably looked horrible on me.

Thankfully, they did not choose to lie to me. They did not choose to pour false flattery all over me. I would have missed out on so many good things in life. Missed out on encountering so many good people in life, walking around looking like a clown thinking that I looked very "pretty". Sporting a makeup look that did not complement me but was working against me, just because people around me thought that I could not handle the truth. 

Get Out, Self-Doubt

 In a world full of thoughts, ideas, and opinions, self-validation can be the anchor that keeps you steadfast and aware of yourself. It can be easy to fall into the habit of depending on others for validation – you may catch yourself looking toward others before you form your own thoughts and opinions on a particular topic.

However, when you can self-validate, you don’t depend on the ever-shifting tides of public thought and opinion. Instead, you can think critically and develop your own thoughts on a variety of subjects.

Developing self-doubt and insecurity can be effectively prevented through self-validation. By validating oneself, we can greatly minimize feelings of self-doubt and insecurity. Too many great things await to carry those anchors with us through life. 

Self-Validation Affirmations

1. I am worthy and deserving of love, respect, and happiness, just as I am.

2. My worth is not determined by the opinions or validation of others; I validate and affirm myself.

3. I trust my intuition and make choices that align with my true desires and values.

4. I Embrace my unique qualities and embrace my individuality, knowing that it is a source of strength and greatness.

5. I forgive myself for past mistakes and embrace the lessons they have taught me, allowing myself to grow and evolve.

6. I am capable and strong, and I have the power to overcome any challenges that come my way.

7. I acknowledge my achievements and celebrate my successes, both big and small, as they reflect my perseverance and hard work.

8. I honor my emotions and give myself permission to feel, express, and heal, understanding that vulnerability is a sign of bravery.

9. I release the need for perfection and embrace the beauty of my imperfections, knowing they make me uniquely human.

10. I am enough. I have the power to create the life I envision for myself and bring forth positive change in the world around me.  

11. I am worthy of my own validation and acceptance, regardless of what others may think or say. My truth is unique and authentic, and I embrace it fully.

12. I choose to live my truth courageously, knowing that by honoring my own values and beliefs, I am aligning with my highest self. Through my actions, I inspire others to do the same.

13. I release the need for external validation and embrace my inner voice as my compass. I trust that by following my intuition, I am creating a life filled with purpose, meaning, and fulfillment.

14. I recognize that self-validation is not selfish, but a necessary act of self-care and self-love. I honor my emotions, thoughts, and experiences, acknowledging that they are valid and deserving of my compassion.

15. I celebrate my uniqueness, understanding that it is the very essence that sets me apart and makes me shine. By embracing my authentic self, I attract the right people and opportunities into my life that resonate with my truth.