What That Looks Like

People redefine their "circles."

Online you see people unfollowing persons that they once followed on social media. Others call for people who don't share their positions to block them.   

Colleagues make their positions known through symbols-flags, pins, clothing, music, protests, and words meant to be heard or read by 'certain individuals'. 

Demands for declaration of 'loyalty & allegiance" one way or another.

"Friends" become "acquaintances".

These are human things. Human responses to violence and terror. 

Escalation in global violence brings on fear, anxiety, worry, anger, sadness, and rage.  People are changed ...forever. 

Intimate Partner Violence

 Global violence has a significant impact on intimate partner relationships.  In our storytelling through the media, we see Domestic Violence relationships through a really small lense. How often do we see an intersection of events and tragedies that had a direct impact on the couple.

In times of increased conflict and violence around the globe,  such as war and terrorism, it is essential to examine and address the potential increase in domestic violence within relationships.  It is important to approach this topic with compassion and empathy, recognizing the impact these circumstances can have on individuals and their relationships.

During periods of heightened global violence, the world becomes filled with fear, uncertainty, and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. These emotions can gradually seep into people's lives, affecting their mental well-being and consequently impacting their most intimate relationships. 

The escalation of domestic violence within these relationships is a distressing issue we must acknowledge and actively work to prevent.

Under normal circumstances, it does take work to build mutual trust, Support, and respect-the foundation of a healthy relationship. 

However, when faced with external violence- like terrorism, mass shootings, or bombings- it can disrupt the fragile balance and harmony within these partnerships. 

The resulting emotional strain and anxiety caused by global violence can escalate conflicts within the home. People may experience increased levels of stress and find it difficult to cope with their emotions, which can then manifest in harmful ways within their relationships.

Doing Better

When you know better, you do better

- Maya Angelou

Having had the honor to serve and speak with women who survived violent relationships in the 1950s, 1960's, and 1970's this has been an ongoing conversation.  Women who not only lived through violent relationships, but also the violence around them. 

Neighborhood bombings and arson....

Assassination of political leaders, a US President, & world-renowned civil rights leaders....

Murder, rape, and disappearance of loved ones with; often with no place to turn for protection or justice....

Racism, homophobia, bigotry, religious intolerance, genocide, sexism, apartheid, misogyny.......

Back then much of the language that we have to describe and analyze domestic violence didn't even exist then. Certainly not the lifesaving "battered women's shelters" or "rape crisis centers".  These types of resources were "innovative" in their day, but we know more now. We can do better.  

Are we doing better for women and children? Are there more spaces for women to acquire safety from a violent relationship? Are those spaces meeting the safety and healing needs of all women?  

Doing Better by Victims

These recent weeks, there has been a lot of pulling away from others. Sometimes that is healthy. Necessary. 

What the world and each individual could use now is strategies and practices that pull people together in a genuine way. Healthy living would then mean that in times of violence escalation, we could aspire to 

• admit our fears
• confront our fears
•  turn to others instead of away
• and support each other in meaningful ways. 

We could acknowledge the pain and respond accordingly.

During times like these could we raise money to provide more resources to support abused women and children?

Can we build and support healthy and therapeutic living spaces that give families relief from emotional turmoil?

Can experts be trained & deployed (and compensated) to help students, employees, and families to get on a path towards emotional wellness and resilience? 

What about resources to support families attempting to survive these chaotic and crisis-ridden times?

What about education for families, communities, and students to help us not to turn against one another?

What about education for families, communities, and students to help us to have fact-based historic education about terrorism that we must now live through so that we can solve these problems?

These might be questions that are not 'based in reality', but maybe that's the problem.  Maybe our reality should include being innovative in ways that support people in times of crisis and violence. Innovative in ways that protect, build, and support others-especially women and children. 

In times of crisis, we don't have to continue on auto-pilot. We can confront it and come out better, wiser, and healthier. There is never an excuse for domestic violence but there ought to be genuine community support for peace and love.

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