We've been talking about Jonah Hill, KeKe Palmar, and boundaries.

First let's acknowledge that we are all susceptible to external influences; it's an innate part of being human. 

Seeking guidance, inspiration, or friendship is natural and often beneficial. 

As a society, we have a poor understanding of boundaries, coercion, and control.  But we can change that by looking at how boundaries, coercion, and control are misused in our own lives.

Social Media and Limiting Who Others Connect With

In this era defined by increasingly pervasive Social media, I want to lovingly and compassionately address a pressing concern that I believe warrants our attention: blindly allowing others to dictate whom we follow and interact with on these platforms. 

If you tell folks that you are a domestic and sexual violence advocate, they might picture you working with a lot of women and children. 

They have no idea that you ALSO work with ......

• law enforcement/bail bondsmen, bounty hunters, 
• nurses & doctors/other hospital staff
• criminal defense attorneys, 
• prosecutors, 
• social workers of every kind/non-profits around the world
• religious leaders of many different religions, 
• well-known folks/victims of well-known folks
• dangerous criminals, wrongly accused people, formerly incarcerated.....

Sharing information with me is one thing, but people have no idea why you may be following someone, and it is not their business. 

Ex: 

• research, 
• trying to understand another perspective, 
• you share a common interest in something unrelated, 
• they are related to you and you have been sharing intel with the family,
• you like their posts about their little dog, etc.... 

In any case, should any follower have a problem or conflict, they can simply unfollow you. For business and personal reasons people may not wish to connect with people who "appear" to hold certain values and beliefs. 

Still, it is also possible to mutually agree to disconnect on social media and connect in other ways. 

We used to do a lot of living this way before social media.

Affirmation: 

Standing up for myself is an act of self-love and self-respect

I'm practicing yoga and learning that so many of the poses are about teaching myself to trust myself. Sure, the headstand requires muscle but much of my hesitation tends to come from lack of trust. 

I know this because I've done the trust exercise in acting class and .....my fellow students got very irritated with my need to check and make sure that they were going to catch me before I FINALLY fell several minutes later. 

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Our experiences and interactions contribute to how we feel about ourselves. We can't dictate how others treat us, but we can try to work on the part that we may have some control over. We can work on how we will respond to it. 

Failing to stand up for ourselves during uncomfortable moments can poison our self-confidence. 

When we allow others- even others that we like or think of as friendlies-to dictate our choices we teach ourselves that we can't trust our own thinking, our own judgment and we can't trust ourselves to stand up for ourselves when someone crosses the line. 

YOU Gotta Think and Grow. For YOU.

When we allow others to control our online experiences and shape our opinions 

• without question.....
• without the guidance of our own values and beliefs.....
• without deploying critical thinking skills, time, space, and logic....

we lose sight of our own power of discernment. 

We inadvertently surrender our individuality to the whims of others, neglecting to nurture our authentic selves.

To break free from this pattern, 

.....we must muster the courage to reclaim our agency and foster individuality, both online and offline. Start by reflecting on your personal values, passions, and interests. Let these foundational elements guide you in curating a diverse and enriching online experience.