-  Gavin Aleogho

Yesterday, the 16th of May was the "International Day of The Boy-Child," which was officially adopted by the United Nations in 2018. It is a day that is set aside to draw attention to the struggles and various abuses that the Boy-Child goes through.

Sadly, since its inception, the day is often unrecognized and unmarked compared to other International Days. The reason for this is because of wrong assumptions that many have concerning the Boy-Child.

I am talking about wrong assumptions, like;

- Boys can always take care of themselves.

- Boys are strong and they can protect themselves irrespective of

their age.

- Boys don't cry.

- Boys are not abused or molested.

- Boys are always the bullies.

- When in conflict with the Girl-Child, boys are always at fault.

- Boys are not victimized.

- Boy should "know" without being taught.

- Boys are naturally bad.

These and many more are some unspoken assumptions that people hold about the Boy-Child. These assumptions have led to the neglect of the Boy-Child; leaving them to fend and fight for themselves. Boys are left to think for themselves, make decisions by themselves and learn from their own experience, which is always negative.

These assumptions and misconceptions make our boys an easy target for the devil to corrupt and influence, negatively. They’ve become victims of several social vices and societal ills.

As a pastor as well as a teen coach, I discovered from my counselling room that a lot of boys have pains and regrets.

Kingsley (not his real name) was ‘disvirgined’ by a teenage girl when he was 9. Due to a family crisis, his mother sent him to stay with the girl’s family for some time. How can he tell people that at first contact, the girl literally raped him? Who will believe that the girl was the one who seduced him into an illicit relationship that spanned over a year? It was after Kingsley encountered Christ that he opened up about the sexcapade he had with the girl. 

I remember the story of one of our teenagers called Timothy (not his real name), who spoke to me about how a ‘matured family man’ tried to lure him into bed. Thanks to the fact that, a day before that incident we taught them about the subtle rise of Sodomy in our society. He was able to escape from that temptation, thanks to God's mercy.

Another of our teens told me of how a girl tried to blackmail him into sleeping with him. That reminds me of the story of boy-Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. Then, who would have stood up for boy-Joseph? Nobody! I can go on and on to tell you more of such stories.

Time will fail me to tell of my experience while growing up. A lot of men have wounds and scars which they got while they were growing up as little boys. Sadly, many of these men began to repeat the same errors and abuse that were done to them, because they’ve not been healed psychologically, in the first place.

Some men who by grace, have come to know the Lord Jesus, have been healed from the hurt, bruises, injuries, and abuse that were done to them. With the healing they’ve received from the cross, they try to minister the same to the upcoming generation. That is my story.

Many parents and teachers assumed that the boy should know without being taught or guided. Our boys need to be given attention. They need to be taught and guided. If they must become all that God has destined them to be, they need your support and love, so that they can navigate their way through life. 

Over the years, the attention has been on the Girl-Child and that is quite commendable. However, we can never achieve the goal of preserving a generation if we don't also focus on helping the Boy-Child to get it right.

When both the Boy-Child and the Girl-Child get it right, then we can say our job is complete. Otherwise, we are only doing a partial job.

Let’s rise to support the Boy-child.

Let’s teach them to speak out.

Let’s give them a listening ear.

Guide them.

Pray for them.

Mentor them.

Don't assume they should know; teach them.

Be a good example and a positive influence to them.

And the Lord will bless you.