Dear Jake,

I remember the day you were born with your umbilical cord tied around your neck , the first thing you did was pee on the doctors fancy silk tie. Ha, yeah you came into the world full of piss and vinegar. Seeing the birth of a child, especially your own is truly an amazing thing.

I remember after you were born coming home covered in metal shavings and jet fuel from building an air-craft carrier and spending an hour to clean up so I could hold you. Ah, I remember we took some good naps together little buddy.

I remember when you were 3 months old in the NICU with tubes plugged in everywhere fighting for your life from the beast of RSV. I remember we were fighting an eviction at the same time and some secretary forgot to make a phone call and we lost everything we owned. I would post your newborn picture and your footprints but some bitch landlord made sure that all that stuff went in a dumpster. She made sure she kept all our kids x-mas presents for her own kid that year though, that was for sure.

I remember what a handful you were, climbing to the tallest bookcase in head-start you could find and leaping with no fear. I remember the stitches in your nose from leaping off the bunk beds too.

I remember when we lived in Washington and us and 65 other families lost our homes one summer because some fucking land developer had better ideas. But we kept on fighting the world, your mother and I, the best we knew how.

Part of me wants to pray that the Great Creator will come and take you away from the suffering of this world, especially the part that comes during recovery. We all know the rest of the world is only concerned with how much labor we can produce to build someone else's home and fill it with fancy plastic shit. If you can't fulfill any of that, well then you get left by the wayside under a bridge somewhere (or with any luck in a basement).

The other part of me, what there is left of it; is praying that somehow I can fight my way out of this fucking depression and make it across the 2500 miles to be there with you.

Dammit Jake, now I gotta go pull myself up by the bootstraps again. Oh, wait. Some asshole called government tore the straps off my boots and shredded them as well. Looks like I'll be comin' barefoot little buddy, hang in there just a little longer.

http://www.gofundme.com/5m4kwk