What comes to your mind when you are about to do something? Definitely, you think about how people will react to what you are about to do. You are afraid that people might react negatively to it. They might just cast you down and make you feel useless. So what happens next?, you stop that action, you hide your write up, you cancel your drawings, you hold back your words, you hold back your contribution, and in all these, you start to lose your self-confidence, you can’t boast in your ability, you become full of doubts, you feel you are not qualified enough.
Do you know the problem? You are busy thinking of what will people say. I am here to address the problem. Let me start by asking “ever since you have been so concerned about what will people say, what have you achieved? I want you to answer this question sincerely in your heart.
The worst feeling anybody can have, is to feel like s/he is not up to the required standard of the people. One thing about people is that they will always have something to say. If you are good, you will have followers and if you are bad, you will also have followers as well. If your life is dependent on others opinion, then you are not the one living, but they live in you.
Always know that anything you do, there will always be reactions from people both negative and positive reactions so do what you have to do and let them talk. Apart from the fact that people will always talk, another fact about people is that their opinion is never constant.
I remembered a story: A student collected ₦40,000 from his father for his School Fees and he used ₦10,000 to gamble. The result of the gamble will be out in a week’s time. He decided to use part of his school fees to play because he believed in the rumour that the deadline of the school fee that was supposed to be in three days’ time has been extended to 3 weeks. He thought to himself that before 3 weeks, he will be able to complete his school fee. Even if he did not win the game, his aunt, a salary earner, who always gives him a monthly allowance would have collected her salary by then. But he was shocked and confused when the school authority confirms that the extension of school fee payment is just a rumour, the deadline for school fees still stands.
He has just one day left to pay his school fees or he will have to face an extra session. The thought of repeating that session was scary to him. He thought how will he explain his carryover to his father, how can he ask his father for extra money, knowing the condition of his family. He went to meet his friends, he asked them to borrow him money and he will refund it before 3 weeks when his aunty gives him his monthly allowance. Instead of his friends lending him the money, they started abusing him, saying, “he is so foolish. How can he use his school fees to gamble”.
They even spread on the news around campus. His story came on the front page of the campus gist news. He became so dis-stabilized. He has to pay his school fees, but it seems there is no means for him. Stealing was not an option for him; he can never steal because of his upbringing and believe. Just a few hours to the school fees deadline, he felt that all hope is gone, he was able to raise just ₦6,000, all the money with him was ₦36,000. He needed ₦4,000 to go. He has nowhere to turn again to ask for money.
He was in his hostel; crying and thinking of what will people say again, if he had to repeat the session because of ₦4,000 Naira only. He was so sad. Remembering what people said about him, how they treated him so badly and called him different types of names, he thought to himself that he will rather commit suicide than face the shame/disgrace waiting for him. He just couldn’t face, nor stand what people will say. Yes, they have been talking about him, but their talk will be more intense if he could not pay for his school fee.
Just when he was contemplating about committing suicide, his phone rang and it was his aunt. She told him that her salary was paid a day before, “everybody at work was surprised that our boss would pay us this early. It was almost unbelievable when he told the accountant to pay us our salary yesterday because our company won a contract and he even instructed that additional 20% should be paid”, she said. “Actually, I should have sent you the money yesterday, but I was just too busy. Now I am on my way to the bank to send you your monthly allowance. Don’t spend it anyhow ooo simply because you got it earlier than ever before. I don’t know when next my boss is going to pay us for next month salary ooo”, she said.
He was so happy, full of life and felt like screaming. He knelt down on his knees to say thank you to God. Less than 30 minutes, he got an alert; his aunty also increased his allowance by additional 5,000. He rushed to the bank to buy his school fees card. Quickly went to the café to login to the school portal. He wants to avoid any form of mistake, since he has just 3 hours to go so he decided not to use his phone as he usually does for his previous school fees payment.
He logged in to the school portal, input the pin on the card, and waited for a few seconds. His heart heavily breathed, he was afraid, he said to himself “I hope it is going” A message popped up “your payment is successful. Kindly register your semester courses. Thanks.” He was extremely happy; it was just as if a heavy load has been lifted from his chest. He ran to his hostel, laid down and thought to himself, “what if my aunt did not send me money, what would have happened”. He checked his time, and the time for the school fee payment was gone. And he said, “thank God I am still alive”. If he hadn’t had the money, he would have committed suicide. He felt so sad, lonely and broken because people did not help him out, especially his rich friends who refused to give him just ₦10, 000 Naira but could spend more than 20,000 in club for girlfriends. Every corner he turned to, they kept pointing fingers at him, saying, “that is the foolish guy that used part of his school fees to gamble”.
Academic work resumed fully, he was in his hostel doing his assignment when his phone rang. He looked at the number on it. It’s not a familiar number; he thought to himself, “who could this be”. He picked the call and he was told that he emerged as the winner of the game. He couldn’t believe his ears. What? You mean the winner of a car and a sum of 1,000,000 Naira. He was invited to their head office, for him to claim the price the next day.
