Being a human lie detector ruined my childhood.

It was something my Mom said about the Easter Bunny when I was five. I came to the realization that my parents were lying to me!

It was crazy, I suddenly turned into a Law and Order police detective and started interrogating my Mom, until I realized my Dad was the weak link.

“So Mommy, have you actually met the Easter Bunny?”

Yes, I have.

“What does he look like? Can you give me a description?”

(nervously) Well, he’s big, and fluffy, with long ears and a cottontail…

THAT’S WHAT’S IN ALL THE PAPERS, CAROL! Do you have a detail that isn’t published or on TV?

Law and Order wasn’t even out yet and I had only watched Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and Sesame Street up to this point, I don’t know why I was channeling Olivia Benson, but it was working.

My Dad laughed nervously in the corner. So I went over and sat in his lap and pulled out the cute little girl card.

“Daddy? Are you the Easter bunny?”

He must have sensed that I knew because he sang like a canary.

YES! I ADMIT IT! I’M THE Easter BUNNY!

Then my Mom stood up, I’M THE EASTER BUNNY!

Ah yes, the only way to get away with the crime, two confessions. They were smarter than I thought.

I walked away shaking my head thinking “Wait ’til Santa hears about this… they are both going on the naughty list!”