Today we're going to cover doors. Doors are important. Every school leader should have an open door policy. That means that anyone who wants to come see you can do so at any time. This way everyone knows that the leader is interested in everyone's issues, and ready to deal with them at any time.
But won't that make it difficult to do our jobs? Yesterday you told us all about writing out 3020a reports. How can we do that if we're talking to every loser who walks by?
Yeah, I think so too. I expect to be writing letters to file every day. Tuesday you told us the way to get teachers to obey without question was to frequently write letters to file.
And what did I say you needed to do before writing the letters?
I remember. You said to call legal and make sure there was no problem.
And when will legal say there is a problem?
Never. They will approve absolutely everything no matter what. Then we deny at Step One, legal will deny at Step Two, and it will take over a year before it gets to an arbitrator.
Good. I'm glad you're paying attention. You will make great leaders.
Yeah but what about the door? I don't want to spend my time listening to teachers bitching about how unfair I am, or their crappy observations, or how I violate the contract all the time.
You're not thinking. How many doors do you have?
What are you talking about?
Leadership is all about thinking outside the box.
I don't have a box.
Yeah, I don't have one either.
How many doors do you have?
Well, there's the one that leads to my office. There's also the one in the outer office.
Are those the only ones?
Well, there's the lavatory door.
Exactly.
What, you think I should leave the lavatory door open?
Always. You have an open door policy. No one specified exactly which door you were going to leave open.
What if someone watches me while I'm using it?
Just say something like, "What's the matter? You didn't like what you saw?
Seriously?
Look, do you guys want to be school leaders or not? Because if you don't want these jobs, I can drag a hundred other people right off the street to take them.
Jesus, What's next?
Tomorrow we're doing juggling on a unicycle. Don't miss it. And next week we'll show you how to encourage early attendance by sleeping in your car outside of the school.
But won't that make it difficult to do our jobs? Yesterday you told us all about writing out 3020a reports. How can we do that if we're talking to every loser who walks by?
Yeah, I think so too. I expect to be writing letters to file every day. Tuesday you told us the way to get teachers to obey without question was to frequently write letters to file.
And what did I say you needed to do before writing the letters?
I remember. You said to call legal and make sure there was no problem.
And when will legal say there is a problem?
Never. They will approve absolutely everything no matter what. Then we deny at Step One, legal will deny at Step Two, and it will take over a year before it gets to an arbitrator.
Good. I'm glad you're paying attention. You will make great leaders.
Yeah but what about the door? I don't want to spend my time listening to teachers bitching about how unfair I am, or their crappy observations, or how I violate the contract all the time.
You're not thinking. How many doors do you have?
What are you talking about?
Leadership is all about thinking outside the box.
I don't have a box.
Yeah, I don't have one either.
How many doors do you have?
Well, there's the one that leads to my office. There's also the one in the outer office.
Are those the only ones?
Well, there's the lavatory door.
Exactly.
What, you think I should leave the lavatory door open?
Always. You have an open door policy. No one specified exactly which door you were going to leave open.
What if someone watches me while I'm using it?
Just say something like, "What's the matter? You didn't like what you saw?
Seriously?
Look, do you guys want to be school leaders or not? Because if you don't want these jobs, I can drag a hundred other people right off the street to take them.
Jesus, What's next?
Tomorrow we're doing juggling on a unicycle. Don't miss it. And next week we'll show you how to encourage early attendance by sleeping in your car outside of the school.
