You probably know already that I’m a Domme Camgirl, content seller, PSO and sexter. However, you don’t know that in my personal life, relationships and in the bedroom I actually recently discovered that I’m a sub! Interesting what one can learn about oneself through self exploration, reading a lot, and trying new things.
I wouldn’t call myself a “switch” (a person who enjoys being both Dominant and Submissive either in different situations or with different people) but this could be discussed and analyzed ad nauseum. Let’s just say that I know how to be both a Domme and a sub and I’m going to help you learn how to be a submissive slut for your cam customer Doms, if that is what you are into. You may choose to either do the sub thing only when you find a Dominant customer, or perhaps you realize you’re truly a submissive and want to be a full-time bottom while camming. Whatever works for you!
Definitions and Terms
BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism.
In writing and chatting online, we generally always capitalize the Dominant pronouns and use lower cases for the submissive pronouns.
A Dom/Domme/Dominant/Top is generally a sadist (enjoys giving pain) and likes to be in complete control of the session with his/her sub.
The sub/submissive/bottom enjoys being punished, spanked, controlled, tied up, told what to do, and so on. Most times the sub is the masochist (one whom gets pleasure from receiving pain).
There is also the switch, who may enjoy playing both roles or switching from one to the other once in awhile. Whatever you read or hear in the kink community, there’s NOTHING wrong with being a switch and there’s nothing wrong with being yourself. Be who you are because that person is amazing.
Toys and Accessories the Sub Cam Girl Needs
Since you’re obviously doing these sessions with your Dom customer on cam by yourself, you’ll need some things for the cam shows. Whenever your Dom orders you to spank, paddle, flog, whip, or cane yourself, clearly you’ll need to own at least one of each of these: a wooden or leather paddle, flogger, whip, and a wooden cane. Be careful because caning hurts more than the others. When instructed to spank your ass, make sure to slightly cup your hand, get that good smacking sound for the cam, and show off your red ass. He’ll love it. Clothespins are very cheap and are wonderful for using on your nipples and labia, when instructed. For the Sub/masochist your pain is your pleasure and your Master’s pleasure, too. So, moan and scream away. (Just be careful if you have a roommate or close neighbors so they don’t think you’re being murdered and call the cops). Try explaining to Mr. Policeman that you’re just doing some fetish play while wearing your collar and your face us red from slapping it.
Many Masters might also ask you if you have handcuffs, rope, etc. because they love tying you up. If you do try this on cam please be careful. Don’t ever tie yourself up so tight that you can’t get out. Be careful not to cut off blood flow. And have the key to those cuffs within reach. Since you’re alone I recommend just staying away from the bondage unless you have a roommate with a sense of humor you can call into the room to help you.
Lastly, a sexy collar and wrist cuffs are very hot. Also always have candles, a lighter, and markers and whipped cream. Many Doms like to have you drip hot wax on yourself, write demeaning words on your own body or write his name, etc. I’ve only ever made ONE custom video as a sub and this Dom had me put clothespins on my nipples and pussy lips, wear my collar, spank my ass red while calling myself “Master’s slut”, and write slut and whore on my chest in whipped cream. It was pretty fun.
Proper Behavior for the Sub Cammer
Always address your Dom/Master/Daddy with the title He instructs you to use and when typing or texting, then capitalize it just like I did in the first sentence of this paragraph. Say “please” and “thank you, Master”, etc. after each task you fulfill. Don’t ever talk back or say no unless 1) you’re going for the cheeky, bratty type of sub and want extra punishment or 2) you really don’t want to do whatever he asked. It’s OK to say no if it’s definitely something you’re not comfortable with. Remember, you’re on cam and this will be online forever so, even with vanilla camming, don’t EVER do anything you’re not 100% comfortable with. I cannot stress this enough. It’s just not worth the money.
Boundaries as a Sub Camgirl
Just because are you submissive doesn’t mean to have to do everything that people tell you to do, especially when live on cam. It’s important to have boundaries to keep you feeling Safe and confident. To determine your camming boundaries, make a list of the things that you like to do on cam. Next, make a list of the things you don’t like to do. The things that you don’t like to do are the things you will say no to if someone asks. You’ll also want to include this information on your camming profile to make things clear to your viewers.
An important thing to remember is that NOT EVERYONE IS YOUR MASTER. There may be guys coming into your free chat room proclaiming themselves as Masters, or Doms, but they are really just freeloaders trying to boss you around. Some guys will try to direct your show. They will tell you that they are there to help you make money, and then they will begin telling you how to sit, or to talk, or to not talk, and play with your hair. BLOCK THEM. If they are not tipping or taking you private, they are a waste of your time and should be ignored. Learn more about this in the article Boundaries in Free Chat.
The most important aspect of maintaining your camming boundaries is the use of safe words. Safe words are words that are used in BDSM play sessions when the sub has had enough and wants the current action to stop. The use of these words is important because it ensures the safety of all parties involved. A true Dom respects safe words. If the customer ignores your safe words, he is an abusive asshole and you don’t have to play with him. Even if he thinks he can justify his reasoning somehow (I’m the Dom so I’m the one who determines your limits, not you), ignoring safe words is still wrong, PERIOD. You can choose to end the show at that point.
Networking in the Fetish Community
You’ll want to begin networking in the fetish community to learn more about fetishes, make friends and help boost your fetish camming career. Follow Twitter and Tumblr accounts with these hashtags: #BDSM #fetish #submissive #sub #Master #Dom, and any others that may be of interest to you. Join a fetish forum to help you learn all about this community and about yourself. You may just surprise yourself and find that you enjoy things you never thought you would or never even knew about.
Now, get to work, bitch!
-Written by Raven Skye – Follow her on twitter: @raven69skye