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The COMMUNICATOR
Vol. 1 Number 04
April 11, 2006
Jef Menguin, ATMG
[email protected]
7264397 / 09204323632

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Be the Best that You Can Be!
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Please feel free to forward this E-Zine to anyone who shall benefit from the articles.

If you find typographical or grammatical errors in this ezine, they're here for a purpose. Some people actually enjoy looking for them and we strive to please as many people as possible. lolz.


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IN THIS ISSUE: COMMUNICATION BEGINS INSIDE
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1. Thoughts
2. Self-fulfilling prophecy
3. Let them speak their Language
4. Advance Presentation Skills Article (Beginners should read this too)
5. Humor Power
6. Lifelong Learning
7. Topics for Next Issue

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1. Thoughts
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"Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may
end by really incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, it shall surely acquire the capacity to do even if I may not have it in the beginning.“ MAHATMA GANDHI


"Our life is what our thought makes it." EPICTETUS

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2. Self-fulfilling prophecy
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Have you ever noticed that we see what we expect to see?

Our values, beliefs, and thoughts create what we see and do, which determine the result we get. The results in turn, confirm our beliefs and thoughts. They become self-fulfilling prophecies.

We go through life seeing what confirms our mental models and ignoring what Contradicts them. If we can't ignore conflicting information, we will reinterpret it, or twist it so that it is more consistent with our mental models.

There is nothing sinister in this. It's completely natural. Our subconscious works hard to avoid what psychologists call cognitive dissonance--feelings of acute discomfort and confusion which arise when a deeply held value or belief is challenged.

Our values, beliefs, and thoughts combine to guide our actions and communications and to determine the results we get.

I have Raul in mind.

Raul (not his real name) sought my help four months ago. He is a director of a government agency. Part of his job is to deliver inspirational messages to the employees so they will become more motivated public servant.

Raul is an expert in his field. I have observed that he has lots of content (substance) in his messages. However, most of the times, people find him boring. He speaks in a monotone. His voice is very soft , and sometimes inaudible. He does not use gestures and does not show facial expressions.

I asked Raul some questions and found out the following.

a. He does not speak loud enough because he found that his soft voice is very effective when conversing with his clients (especially the angry ones) one on one.
b. His teachers taught him that it is not good to be loud and to call attention to oneself.
c. He does not use gestures because he is not used to it. In his words, “when I used gestures I feel like I am acting--it is not me."
d. He does not show facial expressions because of the nature of his work--also he was trained that way since he was young.
e. He believes that he is not meant for public speaking that he had been avoiding every chance of delivering speeches.

I impressed on him that changing some of his beliefs must be his first step into becoming a better communicator. His single step into a journey of a thousand miles.

We examined his beliefs, thoughts, and values. The clearing process was not easy as it involved revealing himself to me. However, we cannot change our results if we will not muster the courage to change some of our values, beliefs, and thoughts.

Communication begins inside.

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3. Quick Presentation Skills Tip : Let them speak in their language
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I was in Samar from March 29 to April 4. Truly a beautiful place of beautiful people. Truly a beautiful experience too!

I facilitated a workshop on Personality Development and Interpersonal Communication for two batches of SK chairpersons. In the early part of the workshop I realized that many participants found it difficult to communicate in Tagalog or in English. I also realized that some of those who tried to speak in English, spoke like some of our traditional politicians--full of jargons and high falutin' words.

I believed that the participants have plenty of fresh ideas to share being young and idealistic. However, when they thought they were required to speak in English, their limitations forced them to resort to the tried-and-tested " the honorable so and so was very correct in his observation of the said matter involving the actions of the politicians who are to serve their constituencies that because of their own vested interest and the lack of support failed to deliver what they before the elections promised to everyone." Okay, I may be exaggerating. But somehow, I found that some participants where boxed by their limitations in the command of the English language that they sound inauthentic to me.

If it is possible, allow them to speak in the language they can communicate themselves better. The main objective of that workshop is to help them learn how to better communicate their thoughts and ideas to their people. Learning the English language is just a bonus. It is sad to note that every time there are training programs or workshops on effective communication Filipino trainers in general equate require the participants to speak in the English language.

Though I do not speak Waray, I can understand a conversation in Waray 70 to 90 percent of the times. Thanks to my visayan roots.

Because I wanted them to speak their authentic selves, I allowed them to speak in their language. They went up the stage, delivered their speeches with strong message, smooth organization, and natural delivery---and without notes.

Again, if it is possible and helpful, allow your participants to speak in their language.

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4. Advanced Presentation Skills Article
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GREAT PRESENTERS by Rob Sherman

What separates a great presenter from a mediocre one? That's a question that I asked a group of top insurance executives when I was working with them on their upcoming presentations to area agents.

I used their President and CEO,as an example since he is in a class by himself when he speaks. I asked the group, "What are the characteristics that sets your president apart from others when he speaks?

The execs threw out a series of terms to describe his speaking style, including a term that is an essential characteristic of the best presenters. The term mentioned was "consistent."

When I asked the respondents to clarify, they said that the CEO is "consistent" on the platform and off. He has a "presence" that always conveys a sense of integrity . . . no matter where he speaks. . . . Quite a compliment.

AUTHENTICITY
Authenticity as a presenter is often cited as a key characteristic of today's top speakers. Speakers who take on a "motivational" persona while on the platform may still capture an audience; but most would agree that your most effective presenters are do not dramatically change when presenting.

Perhaps it is obvious to all of you reading this posting, but sometimes we tend to forget. While technique is certainly useful in improving your speaking skills, you can only excel as a speaker if you feel secure as a person and confident about the message you are
conveying. Real, LONG TERM success as a communicator - as a leader - as a person - demands consistency.

Perhaps the greatest lesson that we can learn from this CEO and others who excel at presenting - or at anything for that matter - is that they are able to align their actions with their values. It is this consistency that enables them to achieve such a high level of success in all areas of their life.

Excerpted from "Sherman's Executive Communicator." Subscribe for free at http://www.ShermanLeadership.com

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5. Humour Power
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=> Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

=> What is a "free gift"? Aren't all gifts free?

=> I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

=> We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

=> Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

=> For Sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain

=> Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.

=> Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

=> You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say
will be misquoted, then used against you.

=> Despite the cost of living, do you notice how it remains so popular?

=> He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

=> Support bacteria - there're the only culture some people have.

=> I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

=> Why do they report power outages on TV?

=> Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "PRACTICE"?

=> All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

=> Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else.

=> Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

=> When there's a will, I want to be in it.

=> Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

=> It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the cost of living.

=> I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

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5. Lifelong Learning
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If you wish to further improve your skills in public speaking, look for a toastmaster club near you. One of the best clubs in Quezon City is the Metro Manila Toastmasters Club. I invite you to copy the details below and be our guest. We are a friendly club and we will gladly welcome you.

Metro Manila Toastmasters Club
Sulo Hotel, Matalino St. Diliman, Quezon City
Mondays
7:30 PM

We are also building another club in Makati. These will be a club for Trainors, HR Practioners and Educators. We have a meeting
tomorrow at 6:30 PM at the Penthouse of the Makati Old Stock Exchange. If you are interested, contact me at 09204323632

Pls see http://metromanila.multiply.com/ and http://www.toastmasters.org/


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7. Topics for Next Issue
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Self-Esteem
How to Raise your Self-Esteem
Have Passion for Your Topic
Humour Power


Jef Menguin, ATMG
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Communications Coach - 7264397 - 09204323632 - Believe & Succeed!