When you enter a relationship with someone, you must set agreeable and healthy boundaries regarding how you interact with your partner’s friends. There should be especially firm boundaries regarding your partner maintaining contact with their ex.
One man recently called his Girlfriend a hypocrite after she was angry with him for messaging one of her female friends while she was getting back in touch with her ex-boyfriend.
He’s been with his girlfriend for around three years. A few months ago, she got back in touch with an old girlfriend of hers, and they all decided to go out for drinks.
He got along very well with his girlfriend’s friend, and the three of them ended up hanging out a few more times. He’s not romantically interested in his girlfriend’s friend; they simply have a few things in common.
“[We] like similar TV shows, movies, and video games,” he said.
“Her friend added me on social media, and I mentioned it to my girlfriend. It’s not abnormal; I’ve got a few of my girlfriend’s friends [added] on social media. When one of the TV shows me and her friend liked was on, [her friend] messaged me about it. I told my girlfriend about this and replied to her.”
Around this time, his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend messaged her after they hadn’t spoken for a few years. His girlfriend told him about the messages and asked how he felt about it. He said while the messages made him a bit uncomfortable, he reminded her that he trusted her and that she was allowed to respond if she wanted to.
When his girlfriend noticed he was messaging her friend back and forth a few times about their favorite television show, she expressed she was uncomfortable with it.
“My girlfriend told me she thinks it’s weird I’m talking to her friend, and she thinks I should stop,” he recalled.
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“I asked what she thought was wrong with it, and she just said I shouldn’t be messaging her. I asked again for an explanation, but she wouldn’t give me one. I mentioned that she’s been messaging her ex, so I think she’s being hypocritical [for getting] annoyed at me for messaging a friend.”
His girlfriend argued with him, saying their situations weren’t the same and that he should stop messaging her friend completely. He refused and asked her to elaborate on her reasoning more, and all she could say was that it was about respect.
“I asked why it was different for her to talk to her ex-boyfriend but not for me to talk to a friend, and all she could say was that she knew her ex previously, whereas this is a friend of hers I’m talking to,” he added.
“I said that’s not really a reason, and she just repeated that it was about respect and that I shouldn’t be disregarding what she’s saying; I should be listening to her.”
Since their argument, he’s still refusing to stop having friendly conversations with his girlfriend’s friend since she hasn’t cut contact with her ex.
Should he obey his girlfriend’s wishes, or is she acting like a hypocrite?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
