This young woman has a 30-year-old female best friend, who is also her cousin, and they have been Close since they were kids.
Her best friend is someone she always asked for advice, and she also confided in her best friend not too long ago about how much she liked a particular guy, who happened to be a friend of hers.
Back when she told her best friend about her Crush, her best friend revealed she also liked a guy, but she did not say that it was the same guy she had an interest in.
“They eventually asked me to hang out with both of them and broke the news that they were dating,” she explained.
“He knew I was very much in Love with him too. Everyone in the situation knew. I actually had a mental breakdown because I felt so blindsided and betrayed.”
“I want to make it very clear that I was IN LOVE with this guy, and they both knew. Not a crush or attraction. I got to know him over the course of a year, seeing him every day.”
This guy definitely wasn’t clueless about her feelings, as she had taken the time to write him a love letter, though he never did reply.
Her best friend and her crush both stated that she should be happy for the two of them, especially since it’s kind of like her crush is joining their family.
She couldn’t deal with hearing this, so she ran out of the situation. Her best friend and crush kept reaching out to ask her to be friends with the two of them after that incident, but she has stayed away.
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She’s more furious with her best friend here, since she seems to have gone out of her way to get to be close to her crush.
“Ultimately, I have a single atom inside my body that is happy for them and understands that they are actually a good match, BUT in no way do I want to be involved with either of them,” she said.
Some of her other friends have pointed out that she’s not being mature and she needs to be supportive.
She finally said to her best friend that she can have her crush, but they can’t both be a part of her life.
Her best friend has since gotten married to her crush, and that hurts even worse. Her crush was one of the few individuals on this planet who has been kind to her.
“I know I don’t “own” either of these people,” she said. “They can do whatever [they] want. But so can I. And I don’t want to be involved with them because it hurts a lot.”
“I know I will find someone else to date and a better best friend, but again, I feel like it’s gaslighting to tell someone to just “be mature” and be “happy for them.” Honestly good for them, but they need to leave me…alone and let me go down my own path that has nothing to do with either of them.”
“It actually really sucks because they moved pretty close to me, and I actually have run into this guy a few times. I hate it so much. I have been Googling this, and this seems to be a really debated topic, with a lot of people saying to just be mature and support them and other people saying that it’s a betrayal. I think the people who say to just support them dating have never felt so deeply about someone else because to have your best friend date is just beyond awful to me.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
