This 22-year-old man’s Girlfriend, who is also 22, has autism spectrum disorder, and when they started dating, she was upfront with him about her struggles with socializing.
Because of this, she can’t Book Appointments on her own, and she’s relied on him to book her dentist appointments for her, for example.
“I have to do it for everything. When we are on a date in a restaurant, I have to say what she wants to order. I have no problem with that. Emailing her professors? I do it for her. Talking for her? I do it,” he said.
Early in their relationship, he understood she must have a tough time and didn’t mind helping her. In his view, it was great that he could make life less stressful for her, and his girlfriend has always been incredibly appreciative.
She’s wonderful and giving in the relationship, and he appreciates the kind gestures she does for him. The only issue he’s had throughout their relationship is how much his girlfriend relies on him to book appointments and communicate for her.
He clarified that she isn’t “lazy,” but the reason she can’t do these things herself is because of anxiety.
“I don’t know how it is for autistic people. Is it the same as people with social anxiety? I think with treatment, social anxiety is curable, but I know autism can’t be cured. I have no idea if my girlfriend can become more independent and more socially responsible,” he explained.
While he hopes to have a conversation with his girlfriend and gently guide her toward gaining more independence, he wants to be kind with his approach.
He’s thought a lot about it but can’t think of a way to address the issue without sounding harsh or mean. It’s not his intention to upset her or make her sad.
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“She is highly functioning; it’s just her fear of talking to people. Every time she tries, she tells me she sounded stupid,” he shared.
He adores his girlfriend, but communicating and scheduling appointments for her is exhausting, so he isn’t sure how to resolve the issue.
What advice would you give him? What would you do if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
