This 25-year-old woman set up her profile on a dating app several weeks ago. A man named Jack, 32, liked her profile, and they texted for a week before deciding to meet in person. They planned to have lunch together on Saturday at Panera at 1 p.m.
During the week before the date, she followed up to ensure that day and time still worked for him and did so again on Friday night.
On Saturday afternoon, Jack sent her a text message at around 12:50 p.m., informing her that he needed to feed his dogs and assuring her he’d leave for Panera immediately after that.
Since they lived in the same neighborhood, she assumed he would arrive just a few minutes after they’d planned to meet. When he’d texted her, she was already driving to Panera, so she told him it was okay if he fed his dogs before meeting up with her. She arrived at the restaurant right on time.
“At 1:15 p.m., he hasn’t shown up. At 1:30 p.m., he hasn’t shown up. At some point, I just got up and left. I felt pretty stupid sitting in a booth alone,” she said.
Several minutes after she’d left Panera, Jack called her to find out where she was, claiming he was at the restaurant. In response, she said she was stunned that he had the guts to still go to Panera since he was so late. Jack called her at 1:42 p.m., long after they were supposed to meet.
After getting off the phone with him, she called her mother to get her perspective. Her mother told her that since she wasn’t far from Panera, it wasn’t too far out of her way to return and have the date.
“Massive mistake. Why? Because as soon as I opened the door to Panera, I expected Jack to be sitting at a table or something, waiting for me, but no. He wore his GYM CLOTHES: a ratty short-sleeve top and blue shorts. I was (and still am) so horrified and disgusted,” she explained.
In her view, Jack’s behavior was incredibly rude and disrespectful. She raced through her to-do list on Saturday morning to ensure she was on time for their date.
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Plus, she put on a little makeup and perfume to look and feel her best and make a good impression. Jack didn’t put in the same effort for her; instead, he showed up in his workout clothes because he planned to go to the gym immediately after their date.
“I told him, ‘This isn’t how I operate. We live in the same area. You could’ve just told me you didn’t want to come,’ and I left,” she shared.
She left Panera less than five minutes after returning to meet Jack. It was the first time someone she’d never met before made her so intensely angry. Later that same day, she walked into a store, and a kind, elderly man walked past her and said that she was so pretty it made his whole day brighter.
This compliment made her happy, which she needed after the failed date with Jack. She realized that a stranger could be kind and thoughtful, which Jack could not do. Upon reflection, she wondered if she did anything wrong or should have refused to return to Panera after he was over 40 minutes late.
She just started dating, so she doesn’t feel the hopelessness some people experience after so many disappointing dating experiences. She wonders what she should do if something similar happens again.
What would you have done if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
