This 27-year-old man and his Girlfriend, 21, have been dating for 7 months. For their entire relationship, it’s been long-distance because his girlfriend lives four hours away.
He’s always been the one putting in the work to keep their relationship afloat, and he grew frustrated over time because it felt like his girlfriend wasn’t putting in any work.
“I was always the one making an effort and paying for everything so we could see each other. I told my girlfriend I can’t be the only one making an effort to see each other,” he said.
He pays for their train tickets and meals every time they get together. Eventually, he realized they’d never meet up if he didn’t plan their time together in person. His girlfriend didn’t seem motivated to put in the same amount of work that he did.
During the most recent time they hung out, he drove to her apartment. A few days ago, he suggested she buy a train ticket to Visit him.
His girlfriend was annoyed with his idea, ranting about how pricey train tickets would be, so he gave up and dropped the subject. The following day, she went to a restaurant with her friend, and they sat outside and enjoyed a nice meal together.
He was furious because, throughout the entire time that they’d been dating, his girlfriend didn’t have an issue spending money to hang out with her friends but didn’t want to spend money to visit him.
“It’s not the first time this has happened, and I keep telling her how I feel: that it is making me feel like an option,” he explained.
Three nights ago, his girlfriend informed him that she would be traveling out of town to visit a group of 10 of her friends. She’d spend about $127 to hang out with her friends for two nights. Hearing this was too much for him, and he was so enraged that he debated breaking up with her.
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“I have told her this, and it’s making me feel she always prioritizes her friends and their plans. She told me I am insecure and that she is not prioritizing her friends,” he shared.
He didn’t believe her, though. Over and over, his girlfriend makes an effort to see her friends and doesn’t mind spending money to visit them.
However, she doesn’t put in the same effort or spend money to see him. It doesn’t feel like she cares about him, no matter how much she assures him that he is important to her. She also claimed he was being dramatic.
During their argument, he questioned why she was annoyed at his suggestion that she buy train tickets to visit him when those tickets cost less than what she was spending to go out of town to spend time with her friends.
She said that since she’d be hanging out with her friends for two days, paying so much money on a train ticket to see him for only a day didn’t make as much sense.
Irritated, he said that if their relationship wasn’t important to her, she shouldn’t be dating him and should just move on. They haven’t spoken since the fight, and he doesn’t know what to do.
He wasn’t sure if their relationship was officially over or if his girlfriend was willing to work things out. Upon reflection, he didn’t know if he’d blown the situation out of proportion and if his girlfriend was right about him being self-conscious. He wonders if he should have seen things from her point of view.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
