This 38-year-old man and his 35-year-old Wife have been married for 11 years now, and they have two little children who are both under the age of 10.

Back when he met with his wife all those years ago, he liked yoga and occasionally doing triathlons for fun.

His wife was into a lot of different activities related to fitness, but she wasn’t invested in any one specific thing. As the years wore on, she began to show more of an interest in his hobbies, which was wonderful, as it meant they could spend time together doing these things.

But then, they got married and welcomed their kids into the world, but they were always staying active together. After his wife gave birth to their youngest, she figured she was so into yoga that she would like to become a teacher.

It was not only expensive for his wife to pursue this, but it also cost a lot of her time as well.

“After our second was born, she left her office job to be a stay-at-home mom and to start teaching yoga on the side,” he explained.

“She loved this so much [that] she decided she wanted to do fitness full time when the kids were both in school, so in preparation, she picked up multiple other certifications to teach many different things, including personal training.”

“As our kids got older, she started teaching more and more, but quickly realized that this was taking a toll on her body and burning her out. It just wasn’t possible to do this full-time for her.”

This all happened four years ago, and his wife stopped to consider the fact that yoga wasn’t the right fitness journey for her. Instead, she thought she should look into Running coaching, which he was supportive of.

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So, his wife began participating in races and getting her certification in running, but then the pandemic happened, and she wasn’t able to participate in her very first marathon.

For the following two years, she ran every week so she could stay in great enough shape to be able to run a marathon, and she began running with friends. After she was finally able to complete her first marathon, she was basically addicted and spending 20 hours every week running.

She once again got burned out 8 months ago and quit teaching her classes but decided to go back to work full-time in an office. She still spends a ton of time running, and this negatively impacts him because they spend less time together as a couple.

When his wife has a bad day, she comes home from running at 8 p.m. and passes out, and on a good day, he has about 2 hours to hang out with her until she hits the hay, so he’s basically always alone, watching TV by himself until he goes to bed, and the following morning, everything starts over again in the same, sad routine. His wife never misses a run, not even if they go on vacation together as a family.

“I have become so unbearably lonely,” he said. “I work a high-stress job that pays well but is always weighing on me in some way.”

“I feel that I’m a pretty good husband. I’m involved with the kids. I help with their school projects and take them to their sporting events. I practice with them in the yard all the time. I do at least my fair share of the housework, including dishes, laundry, and other cleaning.”

“I take care of myself physically by working out on my lunch hour, so I don’t have to take more time from the family. I just have no relationship with my wife since she is always gone or sleeping.”

He has spent the past few months trying to convey to his wife just how lonely and sad he is and that he would like her to pay a small amount of attention to him.

He would be fine cuddling on the couch and watching a movie; it wouldn’t need to be more elaborate or romantic than that. Unfortunately, his wife hasn’t listened to him asking her to please spend a bit more time with him.

Last weekend, they even scheduled a rare date night on Saturday. That morning, his wife ran a race while he hung out with the kids, mowed the lawn, cleaned the house, and took care of every single thing.

He called a babysitter to watch their children and made reservations for him and his wife to have a nice dinner together.

The entire evening was lovely, but when they walked back through the door at 8:30, his wife went right to bed without saying one word to him.

He already feels like he’s not a priority to his wife like running is, especially since she recently addressed wanting to go to two different and expensive destination marathons that he and their kids won’t be able to go to.

She also is planning on skipping out on their anniversary in two weeks since she has a race to go away for, which really hurts him terribly.

“This all broke me. I dumped and told her how this made me feel. There were tears on both sides,” he continued.

“She claims that she feels like I am always mad at her and I am not supportive of her, and she has to keep her running life from me. This is what leads to the lack of affection. I explained my feelings and reiterated how lonely I am.”

“I asked her if she would be willing to find a compromise and maybe focus on shorter races, and she told me no, that if I made her do that, that she would resent me, and this is what makes her happy.”

He then suggested they attempt to go to therapy together, but she has no time to schedule that with him.

She has promised to try to squeeze time in for individual therapy, but he’s not sure she’s going to follow through with it. Meanwhile, he has an appointment this week for him to individually see someone to try to help him.

He’s afraid they are quickly heading for a divorce, and there will be nothing that will serve as a compromise that will make them both happy. He just wants to spend a little time with his wife, and she just wants to run.

“I do want to say I am proud of her, and she is doing amazing,” he added. “She is now at a level where she wins races, or at the very least her age group, but it has come at such a huge cost.”

“I love her, but don’t know how much longer I can reasonably keep this up. I’m sure I come across as an unsupportive monster and that this is all so one-sided. I have seen how the running community rallies around itself and am somewhat worried I’ll get torn apart on that level as well. I’m just so lonely. I miss my wife.”

What advice do you have for him?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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