When you or a loved one cares for a foster kid, everyone needs to understand that the child may be living with serious trauma and that not everything will be sunshine and rainbows.

One woman and her Family have been asked to stay home from her dad’s birthday party since, during their last family gathering, her husband yelled at her sister’s foster son for messing with their daughter.

She and her husband recently took their six-year-old daughter to visit her parents at their house. Her sister Jane and her family were also there, and they brought their nine-year-old foster son JJ with them. 

“One day, I was out with my mother, and we came home to everyone arguing,” she recalled.

“Jane had been supervising the kids playing outside, and JJ had tried to get my daughter to go in the pool, but she didn’t want to.”

JJ continued pressuring her daughter, and they started arguing. Before Jane could intervene, her daughter slipped amidst the chaos and JJ’s aggression, scraped her knee, and started crying. Suddenly, all the adults rushed outside, and her husband started yelling at JJ in the heat of the moment. 

When she and her mom returned to the house, everyone was upset, including JJ, who had a panic attack after her husband scolded him. Jane and her husband ended up leaving the family gathering early because JJ went straight to the car after the incident and refused to go back into the house.

“Fast forward to now, it’s my dad’s birthday, and we’re having a small party as it’s a milestone birthday,” she explained.

“Jane called me and asked that we not come to the party because JJ doesn’t feel comfortable seeing us. She said he’s had lasting issues since the visit and is scared to be around us again, so could we do something with Dad another day.”

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Surprised by Jane’s request, she asked if her family could schedule something else with their dad instead. Jane turned that idea down, saying that JJ knew about the party and really wanted to go but didn’t want to see her, her husband, or her daughter. Jane also told her she worries about JJ feeling excluded from family events.

At this point, she was feeling very upset and told her sister that since it’s her side of the family that’s having issues, she should be the one to schedule a different celebration with their dad. 

Now, she and her sister are on the outs, and she’s wondering if she’s being rude by refusing to switch her plans for her dad’s birthday.

Should she not go to her dad’s party with her family, or should her sister come up with a different solution?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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