As we get older, we must learn how to juggle life’s demands and take care of our responsibilities on our own. Therefore, independence is a necessary skill in adulthood.
Independence is often highly praised and regarded as the mark of a successful adult, while any signs of dependence are frowned upon by society.
However, independence can spiral into something negative when it’s taken too far. There’s a difference between being self-sufficient and being overly independent. One is healthy, and the other is an issue that can impact multiple aspects of your life.
When someone feels as if they cannot ask for any help or support, it indicates that they may be hyper-independent.
Maggie Lancioni (@therapywithmaggielpc) is a licensed professional counselor, and she’s on TikTok talking about what Trauma Responses from hyper-independence might look like.
Hyper-independence is when a person relies on themselves excessively and avoids seeking out assistance from others. Someone with this mindset often struggles to maintain relationships, foster emotional connections, and excel in their career.
They have difficulty opening up and letting people in, causing them to have very few close friends. In addition, when a hyper-independent person never asks for help, they are constantly bearing the weight of everything, which can lead to burnout.
The phenomenon results from Traumatic Experiences that have taught a person they can’t trust or depend on others for support. It develops into a coping mechanism that sticks around even when the traumatic experiences are over.
In her video, Maggie lists some signs that you may be hyper-independent:
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- You are a workaholic or an overachiever.
- You have a fear of being perceived as “needy,” so you don’t ask for or accept help.
- You have trouble with delegating tasks.
- You’re known for being dependable.
- You’re accustomed to doing everything for/by yourself.
- You often say that you’re fine when you’re really not.
If you believe you are hyper-independent, what you can do is try to get to the root of your trauma and take small steps toward allowing others to offer you support.
Unlearning your trauma response is a journey, and at times, uncomfortable feelings may arise. However, it’s important to work through them so you can reach a healthy balance of self-reliance and knowing that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.
@therapywithmaggielpc Do you relate to this? #fyp #therapistsontiktok #traumatherapy #traumatok #traumatherapist #tiktoktherapist #mentalhealththerapist #therapytiktok #therapytok
? quietly running up that hill – Loveless
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