One woman is engaged, and her fiancé has quite a sizeable Family. Between his mom, dad, brothers, brother’s SOs, and other extended Family Members, it always totals more than 20+ people from his side that they spent time with for the holidays.

Meanwhile, she only has two people from her side that come to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with them, and this year, they cannot come for Thanksgiving.

“So for the past four years, I’ve been single-handedly cooking from scratch and hosting for both Thanksgiving and Christmas,” she explained.

She truly does everything all by herself, though her fiancé helps to check on the brisket. The reality is, it’s a lot to prepare food for 20 or more family members, and she has to start the night in advance.

She then starts cooking the morning of and all through that afternoon. When she’s finally finished, she’s so beat that she can’t even sit down and have a nice time enjoying what she made.

“Last year I requested that everyone attending brings one side dish or dessert, no one brought anything! I had a feeling that’s what it was going to be, as no one mentioned what they’re bringing so I prepared for it anyway,” she said.

“Just to also mention, I have never been thanked for hosting or cooking. Literally by no one.”

“All leftovers get picked over and taken home (last year I also had to cook the following day because there was nothing left to eat except some baked Brie that my MIL turned her nose up to, and I wanted to enjoy leftovers at least).”

That’s pretty sad to have a bunch of your fiancé’s family members act so ungrateful for all of your hard work, right?

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Well, given the fact that her own family members can’t even make it to Thanksgiving in a few days, she let her fiancé know that she was not going to be doing all of the cooking alone this year.

She mentioned that it was fine to have his family over for Thanksgiving, but he needed to organize catered food.

Her fiancé was not pleased with her telling him this, and he begged her to make something, anything, even stuffing that came in a box.

She pointed out to her husband that this was all a tradition that he and his family had, it wasn’t her tradition to continuously host people who didn’t appreciate what she did.

On top of all this, she just completed a round of medication that affects her joints and makes them feel stiff and awful. She’s simply not up for going crazy in the kitchen all by herself, especially since it’s going to make her body feel terrible right now.

Her fiancé refused to speak to her after that conversation, and she’s left wondering if she’s the worst for not wanting to go through with his holiday tradition.

“I have decided to possibly sit out Thanksgiving completely, buy a pre-made single-serving Thanksgiving dinner at the local grocery store that just needs to be popped in the oven for a while, and going to watch that new Lady Gaga movie,” she concluded.

Here’s what the internet had to say.

“…I’d be having some conversations before I marry that person. If your fiance is not considerate of what you need versus what he and his family wants and also not pulling his weight now, will he as a partner when you’re married?”

“An important distinction is that you did not say “We can’t host a dinner.” You said “you need to be the one to do it this year if you want it because I’m tired” and he balked.”

Likely-Lemon

“Every holiday dinner should be a team effort with designated roles. In my family, my uncle does the meats, gran does the mac and cheese, aunt and cousin does the side dishes and other family members bring drinks.”

“Desserts are store-bought, never handmade. Plates and utensils are plastic/paper to cut down on cleaning.”

Sadimal

“The fact that it’s been addressed repeatedly, and he makes zero effort to compromise, assist, or defend you is basically a snapshot of what your entire marriage will look like.”

“Real partners care about the things that affect the other, because ultimately it affects you both. And if he doesn’t feel affected, aka this is your problem to figure out, know he does not consider you a partner but a convenience. This will be every single problem you face…alone, not together.”

“I hope you go home (to YOUR house that you mentioned) and enjoy every moment of your solo thanksgiving and relish it. And contemplate your future because you are worth and deserve FAR better!”

LoveisaNewfie

“Run woman! Run! I’ve been married 17 1/2 years. One of the main reasons that our marriage has worked is that my husband believes in 50-50 sharing your duties, even with the kids. He would never ever leave me to clean up or cook alone, ever.”

“He always helps or at least helped with the kids when they were little. He has always been concerned with whether not I am having fun or he will tell me to sit down and relax for a while.”

“What you were seeing with your fiancé is what the marriage will be like. It’s how his family will always treat you. Like you were a slave and then don’t appreciate you. I can’t believe that last year you ask people to bring sides and no one brought anything.”

“I am absolutely baffled by that! Now throw a baby or two in the mix and see what your life will be like slaving for these people every holiday and not enjoying your time with your children.”

“We’re having a nervous breakdown because you’re responsible for the kids and the meal and the holiday. Forget that crap.”

Nt_A_Chnc

“You’ve never once been thanked, had an offer of help, and had people blatantly ignore your request for support.”

“You gave these people a chance to make the “tradition” sustainable, they chose not to take it. Take care of yourself or see if you can join a friend instead.”

vance_mason

You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.