If you don’t know what a Junk Bond is or what’s happening to them right now, please run along. For the rest, this went to a trader friend this morning at 9:13am MST …

YOURS TRULY:

On the last day of Hanukkah
My true love gave to me
A portfolio of high-yield
Almost free

FINANCE FRIEND: silence

It did in fact turn out good for a return phone call a few hours later. The conglomerate response was:

You’re not very funny, so where did that come from?

Plus …

CNBC are fucking idiots

And finally …

I’m too fat to play golf right now.

I think the last was code for “I’m looking for a new job as we speak.”

MG signing off (to spread more holiday cheer)