“Time flames like a paraffin stove and what burns are the minutes I live.” ― Irving Layton
Not long ago I heard a story from a pastor talking about the words we use and how we understand those used by others. The story began with a question to another person in which she asked, "Do you know what a fetter is?" This person responded, "Sure, I grew up on a farm and my Dad would always ask if the horse had been tended to. My response was always yes, I 'fed her' today."
To understand where this is going, a 'fetter' is normally defined as a chain or manacle used to restrain a prisoner. But I am going to use it to explain how our lives are chained together in many different ways. The interlinking through family, marriage, work, and lots of groups, institutions or other connections binds us all. So how we treat those connections remains important.
Take the binding of two people in marriage. The words spoken as a vow are, "...til death us do part." The life of two bound together is full of words, at first only words of love, then others enter in as they become comfortable with each other. Sometimes too comfortable as we try to mold the other into what we wish them to be, forgetting the "who and why" we married them. Those words spoken can create disharmony, cause conflict or turmoil instead of enjoyment of life and togetherness.
... and then time catches up and the 'til death do us part' arrives.
Life passes by, gone in the blink of an eye. And for what have we wasted with words the time bound together. Was it in bliss or in conflict of each other. And if in conflict, what was the most likely cause of a continued conflict in our life?
I would suggest the answer to that question is pride. Pride keeps us many times from living a more peaceful and enjoyable life. I am talking about the kind of pride that prevents us from being honest with ourselves. In other instances, we do not want to admit defeat. And for many reasons, we do not want to be seen as weak or incapable.
But our vulnerability is exactly the thing that could help us build connections and stronger relationships. Pride gets in the way of our fettered relationships. It gets in the way and prevents us from enjoying the time we have together.
Yes, there are many reasons our relationships dissolve. There are many reasons we cannot seem to get past the walls of division we build. But remember it all goes by so quickly and in the end, was pride worth it?
Stay inspired my friends!