Against a backdrop of global unrest, COVID, fractious politics and a downward-spiraling economy, it’s easy for people to become cynical, depressed and disheartened about the future. Sometimes the only way to lift ourselves out of a doom-and-gloom mindset is with an empowering true story of courage, perseverance, recovery and transformation. Author Anthony Brown’s new Book, From Park Bench to Park Avenue, is just the tonic to restore our fragile faith in possibilities, and we’re honored to feature him as this week’s guest.

Interviewer: Christina Hamlett

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Q: “The world breaks everyone,” wrote Ernest Hemingway, “and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” How does this message resonate with your personal journey from dysfunction and homelessness to recovery and triumph?

A: I have developed a resilience to adverse events that occur in life. I know that nothing lasts forever and that pain is a gift while suffering is an option. I have come to realize a strong sense of acceptance for what life presents itself. I understand now that life is temporary and nothing lasts forever so enjoy the minutes as they come. This gives me strength and courage to take on multiple things knowing that even through failure, there is success.

Q: Twenty-three years is an unfathomable amount of time to have spent on the streets and without hope that life would ever change. What are your three most indelible memories of the past which remind you that the line between the “haves” and “have nots” is a lot thinner than most people realize?

A: There is very little difference between any of us regardless of who we are or where we come from. One thing that I think about is that we will survive, and we will do this by any means possible. I remember getting a cheeseburger out of a dumpster that had mold on it. I removed the tomatoes and lettuce and ate it regardless. When you’re starving, all bets are off. I think that goes across the board with all of us. Another thing is that we all have that innate desire to want to belong and be part of something. I remember hanging out with the hookers just so that I can have friends. I wasn’t a pimp or anything like that, but they took me in and made me feel like I was wanted. I see that desire across the board as well. We are all social animals.  At one point in my journey, I witnessed three-fourths of a family die because of AIDS and sharing intravenous drugs. The surviving member was a close friend and I know what grief feels like. I guess all of us have had this experience and share the same emotions. We all have had sorrow or if not, we will have that gift one day of experiencing loss. All it takes is just one significant event to occur in life and things can shift. Change in one form or another does occur. We are all human and prone to follow similar patterns.

Q: Physically, mentally and spiritually, what kept you going during that very dangerous period when it might have been an easier path to simply give up?

A: On the streets, I never gave life much thought. It didn’t matter if I lived or died. I couldn’t take my own life and for some reason, God didn’t let anyone else take it either. The drugs provided a shell that kept me from worrying about anything mentally.  Being incarcerated helped me out more than I realized. In an odd way, I was forced to stop damaging myself physically. I was given rest, nutrition, and a healthier environment to be in. Those times when I was in jail or prison provided me with a rejuvenation period that my body needed to heal. That also gave me months and years to discover I had a connection with God. I think that helped a lot.

Q: Now and again there are life-changing events which cause us to redefine ourselves and our perspectives. What event or events activated your own reset button?

A: Two events occurred back-to-back within a short timeframe. First, after numerous instances, the same police officer arrested me again as he had done so on multiple occasions. This last time, he asked me if I wanted help to change my life. At that moment, I was sick and tired of being tired and sick. That combination has never happened before, and it was the turning point in my life. After all these years, it seemed like someone cared about me. I guess that fits into that adage of “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. This event led to another person that showed me that she cared about people and me as well. Not just by words but by her actions, too. I remember that I was afraid to find a job and she literally forced me to get applications, as well as helped me filled them out, and never criticized me for my illiteracy and fears. It was the combination of these events that set the groundwork of who I am today. My philosophy in life is built upon that foundation. 1) If you say it, then you must do it and 2) be consistent in your commitments.

Q: What are some of the realities about addiction and substance abuse that most people aren’t aware of?

A: Addiction is both physical and mental with a strong emphasis placed on the mental part. Once the physical cravings develop and your body needs it to function, then the mental part takes over. This is what I feel is the most dangerous part of it all. It becomes an obsession that is hard to stop. There is nothing fun about it and there is a lot of guilt and shame in addiction. It all begins with experimenting and there is a start/stop button that can be switched back and forth. Then the stop button is broken. In the beginning you try to fix it. After a while you come to believe it doesn’t need to be fixed now and that one day you will fix it. Then the thought comes that you should just let it run its course and it’ll fix itself.  Then eventually an odd thought will arise, and you’ll ask yourself, what the hell is a button?  That is how cunning, baffling, and powerful addiction is.

Q: Pulling yourself up by the bootstraps is a laudable accomplishment in and of itself. Pulling out all the stops and writing a book about it, however, is an endeavor that doesn’t come without its own set of risks, angst and self-doubts. What inspired you to take that leap of faith with an autobiography which lays bare to total strangers some of the darkest moments you endured?

A: Several people have heard my story and said I should write a book about it, so I did. I figured I have done other things that seemed impossible. I accomplished getting a higher education starting from only having previous knowledge of an eight grader. I had no employment skills and was able to become a teacher and nurse. I was homeless and now can pay a mortgage. So why not write a book. I made a promise to God a long time ago that whatever I start, I will complete so once the book got started, I had to honor my end of the bargain and finish it. I once asked God if He was still in the miracle business and things happened that gave me the confidence to do many things. I believe that there is a purpose to all that He places before me, and I just take the footsteps and leave the results up to Him.

Q: What message do you want to leave with readers after they finish the last chapter?

A: Don’t quit before the miracle happens and miracles are real. Faith and hope are not just words but actions. No matter where you come from or where you have been, there is always somewhere else you are eventually going to be. Learning to let go isn’t about losing. It allows you to have more room to grasp on to bigger prizes.

Q: What was your biggest challenge in revisiting the past and deciding what to include or omit for actual publication?

A: The biggest challenge was to revisit the pain, find closure and discover the importance of forgiveness. A lot of people, places, and situations had to be omitted because others would be harmed if I put out some truths. I made a conscious decision that for me to find peace in my new life, I would not intentionally cause harm to others.

Q: From Park Bench to Park Avenue is a wonderful title, by the way, and is evocative of a transition which is nothing short of inspirational. After 23 years of having nothing to your name, was it hard for you to adjust to the current lifestyle you’re enjoying?

A: Adjusting to this new lifestyle can be challenging at times in certain areas. There are so many things I thought that I wanted. Shiny toys and materialistic items were what I thought would bring me happiness. To an extent, this stuff brought me comfort but not the joy I was seeking. I discovered I like work and school but haven’t learned how to “play” yet. Some say I am too serious and must find balance. That part is hard to adjust for me. It seemed I had wasted so many years and that I have a lot of catching up to do in life.

Q: Do you remember what was the first material “want” vs. “need” that you bought for yourself?

A: A computer

Q: Are there are other ways in which your life and your relationships have changed since writing this book?

A: I have developed different types of relationships since the book. I tend to keep people at a distance inwardly but outwardly you wouldn’t know. Life has changed because I cannot find comfort in complacency. My expectations of others are high as well as my level of acceptance. That makes for a smaller circle of real friends. In the streets, I didn’t care much about who you are or what you did. This allowed the opportunity to have many acquaintances. I tend to see both as separate entities these days.

Q: Do you regret any choices you’ve made? If do-overs were allowed, which decision(s) would you most like to change (and why)?

A: There are a lot of regrets and I have learned to live with them. I try to make amends to all the people and places that I had caused harm to every chance that I get. I even apologized to the police officer for being a nuisance. If I was allowed a do-over, I would have finished school, not did drugs, or found prison as a viable domicile. But on the other hand, the path that I was gifted has allowed me to become the person I am today. I don’t think I would want to change anything at all.

Q: Tell us about your work as founder and director of C.A.R.E. Any special success stories you’d like to share?

A: Coordinating & Assisting Recovery Environments (C.A.R.E.) was first launched as an adjunct to a substance use treatment center. I feel that since its creation, it has been instrumental in saving many lives as well as given me a purpose. I enjoy interacting with clients who have mental illness and substance use problems. Nothing brings me more joy than to watch lives being restored. One success story that comes to mind is of an individual who was in prison for over 20 years and released from a life sentence. He had anxiety adjusting back into society. Even going shopping stressed him out. We were able to walk him through that and now he has a job, started a family, and is prospering.

Q: Proceeds from your book are going to a cause which is dear to your heart. What is it?

A: I purchased an abandoned mansion in Mansfield, Ohio that was built in 1916. This is Brown Manor. Currently it is in reconstruction so that eventually we can have a safe environment for those that are homeless can discover ways to find restoration of life. Giving back and helping others is important to me and I know what it’s like firsthand to want help but don’t know how to ask for it. I believe that people can use more of a hand up vs a handout. Everything I do is focused on this project. I always tell people that in my life Brown Manor is the body, the book is its heart and the C.A.R.E. program is its soul.

Q: What instinctual habits from your years being homeless still remain with you today? (i.e., sleeping with one eye open)

A: I am still hypersensitive to things. I am always aware of my surroundings no matter where I am. The slightest little noise that is out of the norm, I pick up on it. I am easily awakened but can determine a threat no matter what stage of sleep I am in. I can also sleep in any position and in any place but not really be totally asleep. Great skill for traveling and rejuvenation. I function on 4-5 hours of rest most of the time.

Q: For the clientele who avail themselves of the programs offered by C.A.R.E., how do you go about gaining their trust when their ingrained response would likely be the opposite?

A: I have found that consistency, commitment, and an honest desire to want to help is crucial when it comes to working with people. I can feel where they are and bring myself to their level, no matter where it is. I speak a language in which they understand. I have been homeless and addicted so I know what that is like. I am also educated on a bachelor’s level in nursing. That allows me to communicate on multiple stages of development. Most of the time, I can find their level of lingo and that puts them at ease and rapport begins. I give people time and space to be themselves then build from there. Nothing that anyone says surprises me anymore, so there’s no appearances of judgment both verbal and nonverbal in the program.

Q: What’s next on your plate?

A: I am working on the sequel to the book and a separate illustrated short story is about to be released soon. Also, I am currently developing a workbook for the homeless community. It’s portable therapy that incorporates multiple models. Currently, I am studying to be a nurse practitioner. With this additional education, much-needed healthcare can be provided to this specific population. I would like to open my practice specializing in homelessness which to this day, has not been done. That in a nutshell will make Brown Manor complete, thus given birth to a new treatment model that society can benefit from.

Q: Anything else you’d like to add?

A: I think its important to understand that homeless individuals and drug addicts are still people. We have parents, brothers and sisters, and children. We also have feelings, hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Life isn’t always linear, but it is something that we all must travel. Be kind to yourself and to others. Always remember that a thought without action is only a dream.