How I Came to Watch the Documentary Boxed In

On March 8th, International Women's Day, one of my friends, Gillian Graham, invited me to attend an event with her at Reset, a community centre.

At the event, they screened the documentary Boxed In, written by Nicole Chrysostom-Murray during the pandemic. The documentary deals with many themes, such as interracial relationships, adoption, and Black females and their hair, which reminded me of Trey Anthony's play, Da Link in My Hair.

Boxed In by Nicole Chrysostom-Murray

Reading the World to Not Box Others In

A few years ago, when my mother died unexpectedly from a heart attack, my heart shattered into many pieces. To heal my broken heart, I realized I had to do something I loved. For me, that something was reading. I created a reading challenge for myself to read the world. By reading, I visited 30 countries. I was exposed to many cultures that differed from mine. One thing that came out of that event was intercultural awareness.

Reading allows you to visit many worlds. Reading about people from different cultures is a learning experience. Understanding peoples and cultures different from yours makes you realize you don’t have to fear them. And it helps you not put others in boxes because you can always find things you have in common.

Getting Out of the Box

When You Feel Boxed In

Self-Reflection: Reflect on why you feel boxed in. Identify any external pressures, societal expectations, or self-imposed limitations that may contribute to this feeling.

Identify Options: Explore alternative perspectives, lifestyles, or paths that align more closely with your true self. Consider what changes you can make to break free from the constraints you're experiencing.

Take Action: Begin taking small steps to free yourself. This could involve setting new goals, trying different activities, or seeking new experiences that challenge your current boundaries.

Seek Support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or mentors for guidance, encouragement, and perspective as you navigate your journey of self-liberation.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be patient and gentle with yourself as you work to break free from the box. Recognize that change takes time and effort, and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small.

When Others Place You in a Box

1. Communicate Your Authenticity: Express yourself honestly and assertively. Show your individuality and challenge any misconceptions or stereotypes others may hold about you.
2. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries and preferences, asserting your right to define yourself on your own terms and refusing to conform to others' expectations.
3. Educate Others: Teach others about how complicated human identity is and why it's harmful to simplify people into basic labels or groups.
4. Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or communities who accept and appreciate you for who you truly are, providing a safe space to explore your identity free from judgment.
5. Lead by Example: Embrace your unique identity with confidence and resilience. Inspire others to reject limiting stereotypes and embrace the richness of human diversity.

How Not to Place Others in a Box

1. Listen Actively: Give people the chance to express themselves fully without assuming you already know their story.
2. Respect Individuality: Recognize that each person is unique and complex, avoiding stereotypes or generalizations.
3. Stay Open-Minded: Be willing to challenge your own assumptions and biases. This allows for growth and understanding.
4. Empathize: See things from the perspective of others. Acknowledge their experiences and feelings without judgment.
5. Avoid Labels: Refrain from categorizing people based on limited information or preconceived notions. Allow them to define themselves on their own terms.

Conclusion

Boxed In by Nicole Chrysostom-Murray explores themes such as interracial relationships, adoption, and the complexities of Black female identity, particularly regarding hair. I’ve extended the conversation looking at ways we’re boxed in and how we box others in. And I’ve offered some food for thought. To learn more about boxes, you can read The Story of Boxes, the Good, the Bad and the Ugly: The Secret to Human Liberation, Peace and Happiness by Runa Magnusdottir and Nicholas Haines.

Next Steps

Wondering what to do next, you can do all of:

1. Buy my new book, Leadership Reading: Spilling the Tea on How Top Leaders Read

2. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

3. Join the Art of Learning Membership Site

4. Download Unlock Your Genius Power Reading Tips Sheet

5. Buy me a cup of coffee!

If you want access to my Bookish Notes, please consider joining my membership site, the Art of Learning.

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