Transform your organization by Listening to your people and helping your people listen to you. Discover the transformative power of attentive leadership with Janie van Hool’s “The Listening Shift.” This insightful guide unveils the untapped potential in every conversation, empowering leaders to foster a culture of engagement and collaboration.

Dive deeper into the art of Communication with “The Listening Shift” and revolutionize your leadership approach. Continue reading to master the skills that will elevate your team’s performance.

Genres

Leadership, Business, Self-Improvement, Communication, Management, Coaching, Organizational Development, Professional Development, Strategy, Psychology

Recommendation

Leadership training emphasizes the importance of honing communication skills. But employees can’t perform at their best unless they feel that management receives and values their input, leadership coach Janie van Hool argues. When people feel heard and understood, collaboration and trust increase, which fosters stronger relationships and reduces fear of change and uncertainty. Her helpful guide offers practical tools for developing the skills and mindset of a “listening leader” – including self-awareness and empathy – and strategies for ensuring your words resonate with your intended audience.

Take-Aways

• Listening skills are an essential but often overlooked element of clear, effective communication.
• Nurture a listening culture by identifying and addressing impediments to good organizational listening and communication.
• Cultivate a better understanding of yourself to engage fully and be wholly present.
• Empathy is the foundation for true understanding and rests on your ability to listen deeply.
• Exercise your listening muscles to strengthen your listening skills.
• If you want your message to translate well, ensure it resonates with your intended audience.
• Structured conversations and presentations enable speakers to convey clear and concise messages.

Summary

Listening skills are an essential but often overlooked element of clear, effective communication.

Leaders must have excellent communication skills to bring out the best in their people. They must not only say the right things and ask the right questions but also listen fully to what others have to say. When you listen well to other people, you boost their potential, whether you communicate face-to-face or via a virtual platform. Listening well also reduces feelings of uncertainty, resistance to change and the spread of rumors. It humanizes leaders, increases engagement and promotes an environment of trust and collaboration, making your organization stronger and more competitive.

“Listening well is not agreeing, advising or colluding. It’s not waiting to speak, filling time or a planning opportunity. It’s not about nodding your head, uttering sounds of agreement or concentrating on matching body language. It’s an art, a skill, a practice, a commitment.”

Although communication skills are a vital element of leadership development, people often overlook the art of listening well. Most managers receive no listening instruction, and educators tend to emphasize the spoken word’s role in communication. Another impediment to listening well is cognitive dissonance, a phenomenon that explains why people are reluctant to embrace information that contradicts their present beliefs or harms their self-image. For example, when the only woman on a team of senior leaders pointed out that her male superior listened to her less than to her male counterparts, the boss justified his conduct with excuses rather than examining his behavior. The woman soon left the company to work in a more equitable environment, and her boss lost a valuable employee.

Politicians want their constituents to see them as good listeners. But political listening is selective and disingenuous. Politicians feign listening while seeking opportunities to talk, control the narrative, present a counterpoint or deny allegations. Failing to pay close attention to different voices and viewpoints impedes understanding and positive change.

Shifting your approach to listening facilitates good communication. “Listening shifts” might feel labored initially, but your efforts won’t be in vain. Listening carefully is essential for building trust, discerning what is significant and serving others well.

Nurture a listening culture by identifying and addressing impediments to good organizational listening and communication.

Promote good listening in your organization in the following five ways: First, conduct a “listening audit” to determine if listening well is a priority within the organization. Second, offer virtual and in-person training to employees across the organization who are genuinely interested in learning the skill. Third, create “listening groups” in which participants share stories and others listen and acknowledge. Fourth, hold “town halls” or “world cafés” to listen to, engage with, and respond to large groups of people. And fifth, coordinate a “listening tour” for senior management to connect and hear from individuals across the organization.

“Listening is an influencing opportunity across your organization – but it needs to be continuous, always on…and genuine.”

Several factors influence people’s ability to remain attentive during meetings, including relationship dynamics, differences in communication styles and workplace politics. Boost participants’ listening abilities by hosting “listening meetings” – that is, meetings that are short, focused and well-moderated. Share and agree on an agenda, time and place beforehand, and try to limit meetings to 15 minutes. Create a shared document to continue discussions, propose next steps and schedule follow-ups after the meeting concludes.

Apply the “speaker/listener” technique, an approach borrowed from couples therapy, to put the focus on speakers, to acknowledge their feelings and to demonstrate understanding:

• “Rules for the speaker” – Express your thoughts; don’t try to guess someone else’s. When you’re unsure how to reply to something someone has said because you’re uncertain of their intentions, ask for clarification. Refrain from monopolizing the conversation. Allow time for your conversational partner to recap what they’ve heard.
• “Rules for the listener” – Paraphrase the speaker’s main ideas without interpreting or correcting them.
• “Rules for both parties” – Give the speaker the floor; interject only to paraphrase what you’ve heard. Take turns acting as the speaker.

Cultivate a better understanding of yourself to engage fully and be wholly present.

Most people are swamped with work, which can hinder their ability to give their full attention to others. To overcome this challenge, learn to listen to yourself and to become more present. Enhance your capacity to listen to yourself by considering where you feel relaxed enough to let your thoughts and feelings flow. Maybe your best ideas come to you in the shower, in the car or while walking. Prepare to engage with others by scheduling time between tasks to reenergize; reframing problems as puzzles to solve; and giving yourself time to prepare for and become open to whatever may happen during a conversation. Take time to notice your emotions during conversations. In his seminal book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explains that you can’t tune into others’ emotions if you are unaware of your own. Once you identify the feelings a conversation triggers, analyze their source.

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” (Chinese Taoist philosopher Lao Tsu)

Research and anecdotal evidence confirm mindfulness’s benefits: noticing what is happening internally and around you with intention. Incorporating a daily mindfulness practice into your life can help you avoid going through your days on automatic pilot. The goal is to pay keen attention, keep an open mind, remain curious and embrace flexible thinking. Mindfulness exercises include periodic check-ins to monitor your internal dialogue and assess your feelings.

Breathing exercises can help you remain calm or return to a steady, present-focused state. For example, sit quietly with your eyes closed; count to four while you breathe in, hold your breath for four counts and exhale for four counts. Alternatively, listen carefully to the sounds in your environment – first to those close by and then sounds progressively further away. Or examine your surroundings from a variety of viewpoints, such as that of a small child, a cleaner or a designer.

Empathy is the foundation for true understanding and rests on your ability to listen deeply.

Some people are naturally empathetic, but anyone can sharpen their skills. Empathizing with someone with whom you share a background or experience is easy; it prompts the feeling of “I know what you mean” during a conversation.

“Empathy is essential as a leader – understanding what life is like for people working across the business is key to building communities where people thrive and are able to – and want to – do their best work.”

However, empathy is also necessary to understand those whose life experiences diverge from your own. In these situations, don’t listen to find commonality. Instead, try to gain the perspective of the other person. Consider other people’s views, how certain situations make them feel and what they might need to work through their feelings. In some instances, you might demonstrate “emotional empathy” and have a visceral emotional response to what you hear. In other cases, you’ll react more coolly, using reasoning, or “cognitive empathy,” to reach an understanding.

Exercise your listening muscles to strengthen your listening skills.

The better you know someone, the more apt you are to predict what they will say or assume you know what they mean. Behaviorists call this “closeness communication bias,” and it impedes meaningful conversation. Consider the standard greeting of “How are you?” People usually respond reflexively with “I’m fine,” but by listening closely, taking note of body language and tone, and asking a follow-up question such as, “You’re walking a little slower than usual today…deep in thought?” you can probe a little deeper. The best conversations flow naturally, but the following 10 steps can help anyone become a better listener:

1. “Manage the judge” – You may find it difficult to feel empathy if you’ve judged your conversational partner to be lacking or unworthy due to your disapproval of certain behaviors or choices. Notice this tendency and consciously adopt an open mindset.
2. “Be curious, not certain” – With a curious outlook, you’ll listen closely, remain engaged and ask pertinent questions. Set aside your need to solve problems in favor of gaining a thorough understanding of the other person’s feelings and point of view.
3. “Ask interested questions” – Invite the other person to respond thoughtfully. To deepen the conversation, remember the TED acronym: “Tell me, explain, describe.”
4. “Interrupt mindfully” – “Cooperative interruptions” – such as interjecting to agree, to supply a word or to ask for clarification – signal enthusiasm. By contrast, “intrusive interruptions” – such as minimizing, disagreeing or taking over the conversation – prioritize the listener’s needs.
5. “Acknowledge, encourage and appreciate” – People respond positively when you make them feel you value and appreciate their thoughts and perspective.
6. “The sound of silence” – Rather than filling gaps in a conversation, allow your conversational partner to pause and reflect before continuing. It may feel uncomfortable initially, but if you wait, you may be pleasantly surprised by what the other person shares when the conversation resumes.
7. “React” – Responding to speakers is essential to convey that you are attentive and listening. Phrases that begin with “That sounds…” or “That seems…,” for example, express your reactions in the moment.
8. “Repeat what you hear” – Paraphrasing the speaker’s core message is a useful conversational tool. This technique is especially helpful in neutralizing emotionally charged situations because the speaker feels heard and understood.
9. “Check your understanding” – Periodically clarify the speaker’s message and remain engaged.
10. “In summary” – Intermittent summarizing during conversations lets speakers know you are attentive and following along as the story unfolds.

If you want your message to translate well, ensure it resonates with your intended audience.

When a company sold to a new investor, employees knew significant changes were approaching. Executives communicated the new long-term vision, the potential boost in shareholder value and the benefits to the business. However, they failed to address how the changes would affect people’s job security and careers, which unleashed bitterness and disengagement. The leadership’s messaging omitted what employees needed to know.

“If you are asking or expecting your people to make an effort to listen to you, you have to be sure that they will see the information you share as relevant to them.”

If you want your message to resonate, make sure it is relevant to listeners. The direct approach – asking what your audience wants and needs and listening carefully to their answers – is quite effective. Use three techniques to underline your message’s relevance: First, give listeners a reason to pay attention. Tell a story or answer the question they want answered. Second, use metaphors that resonate emotionally. Third, recount their stories to forge deeper connections. Describe business successes, challenges overcome, collaboration in action, and so on.

When you talk to people about relevant topics, their responses often trigger your memories and emotions. Sharing your personal stories in exchange gives others a glimpse of your values and motivations. Revealing your struggles is humanizing and allows others to relate to you more intimately.

Structured conversations and presentations enable speakers to convey clear and concise messages.

To tell a story in a way that keeps listeners engaged, ensure you know your ending before you begin. Communicate sensory details to add vibrancy to the narrative. For example, recount what you saw, heard, smelled and felt during the event you’re describing. Include a moral that answers the question, “Why am I telling you this?” as a linchpin for action and transformation.

“The more structure you use as you plan to communicate, the more likely it is that your listeners will be able to hear what you’ve said and understand it.”

By adding a structure to communications and presentations, your message will make a greater impression on listeners. You’ll speak more confidently, knowing what you want to say and how you want to say it. You will also stay focused and present instead of worrying about what to do next. The structure should be more of a guide than a script. One such structure is “logos,” drawn from Aristotle’s principles of persuasion. You can use this approach to make a point and provide supporting information. Begin by making the relevance of your subject clear to your listeners, then tell them what to expect from your speech. Follow up with three supporting areas of focus and end with a conclusion.

The proper presentation structure and style will enable your audience to take in and remember the information you wish to impart. Your tone of voice, pacing and word choices affect your listeners’ receptivity. The VAPER model describes five aspects of expression: “volume, articulation, pitch, emphasis and rate.” Analyze how you sound to others by recording your voice or asking a colleague for feedback. Then adjust your intonation to ensure you express emotions appropriate to your message.

About the Author

Communication coach and adviser Janie Van Hool is a former actor who now works with business leaders in a wide range of organizations. She also volunteers with the Samaritans, a UK nonprofit whose members offer an empathetic ear to people in distress.

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