Booking, a prevalent South Korean dating practice, involves waiters orchestrating introductions between men and Women by escorting women to men’s tables. Our investigation at a popular Booking club in L.A.’s Koreatown sheds light on this intriguing phenomenon.

Initially resembling a typical American nightclub with dim lighting, blaring music, and pricey drinks, the scene takes a surprising turn upon closer inspection. Waiters guide young women to tables occupied by men, where they briefly socialize before being ushered away. Witnessing this ritual firsthand at Feria, a booking club in Los Angeles, evoked both curiosity and amusement.

Dating back to the 1990s, booking blends elements of sexual exploration with Korea’s traditional matchmaking culture. Groups of men arrange bookings by reserving tables and purchasing bottle service, incentivizing waiters to facilitate introductions. Women, in turn, receive complimentary tables and drinks to encourage participation.

Critics have long denounced booking as a patriarchal practice, likening it to speed dating devoid of female agency. Such sentiments echo Anthony Bourdain’s portrayal of booking as a disempowering experience. Initially skeptical of women’s willingness to partake, reflections on modern dating challenges, including ghosting and online misogyny, prompted reconsideration.

In contrast to the paradox of choice inherent in online dating, booking offers a simplified approach to meeting potential partners. This simplicity suggests the potential for more meaningful connections, challenging the dominance of digital platforms like Tinder and OkCupid.

In summary, while initially perceived as antiquated and oppressive, booking presents a nuanced alternative to modern dating woes, sparking intriguing discussions about its practicality and impact on romantic interactions.

In Kai Ma’s Hyphen article, the booking experience is depicted as a series of distressing encounters, ranging from fending off unwanted advances to enduring uncomfortable interactions with waitstaff. Ma recounts incidents such as being pressured by a waiter named Angel to dress more provocatively and being subjected to unwelcome advances from inebriated men.

According to Ma’s friend Liz, the practice of waiters guiding women from table to table is attributed to cultural expectations, with Korean girls feeling compelled to project an image of shyness and conservatism to adhere to societal norms. This pressure stems from a stigma within Asian cultures regarding female purity.

However, interviews with Korean American women in Los Angeles reveal a different perspective. Steph Cha, who frequented booking clubs in her early 20s, views the waiters’ assertiveness as a customary aspect of the practice, emphasizing that participation is optional and individuals can decline if they choose to.

Jasmine Chang, a longtime participant in booking, highlights the flexibility and autonomy she enjoys in the process. From selecting her preferred beverage to walking away from unappealing company, Chang asserts her agency in navigating booking interactions. While acknowledging variations in booking club dynamics, particularly stricter practices in South Korea, Chang emphasizes the comparatively relaxed atmosphere of Koreatown clubs, where inclusivity and individual choice are prioritized. Additionally, she notes that direct communication between men and women is common, bypassing the intermediary role of waiters.

In America, booking maintains ties to South Korean matchmaking customs, which traditionally discourage direct interaction between men and women without an intermediary. However, in Koreatown, the practice often affords women greater autonomy and control. Contrary to depictions in Anthony Bourdain’s portrayal, women I interviewed expressed empowerment in selecting tables, guiding conversations, and influencing drink choices offered by men who booked them.

Steph, while initially apprehensive about the matchmaking aspect of booking, found the experience surprisingly enjoyable, likening it to speed dating with the added perk of abundant alcohol. She highlights a notable absence of groping incidents compared to Hollywood clubs, attributing this to the structured nature of booking interactions.

The absence of aggressive behavior from men at booking clubs is attributed to the intermediary role of waiters, who facilitate introductions and interactions. While some may perceive waiter intervention as harassment, participants like Jasmine and Steph view it as manageable and easily resisted.

During my own booking experience, interactions with men mirrored those encountered elsewhere, emphasizing the inherent awkwardness of conversing with strangers in real-time. Despite its limitations, booking offers a unique social dynamic that, while not inherently romantic, provides an alternative to traditional club settings.

Lacking certain cultural insights, such as proper etiquette when interacting with older “FOB-y” Korean men, posed challenges during my booking experience. Understanding the protocol of bowing and accepting shots with two hands proved crucial, particularly when engaging with older individuals, to avoid disrespect.

Despite collecting numerous phone numbers, I felt little motivation to pursue further communication. The structured nature of booking doesn’t simplify or complicate the dating process any more than other methods like Tinder or OkCupid, where true connections are not guaranteed.

According to Jasmine and Steph, booking doesn’t inherently perpetuate sexism more than other dating or clubbing approaches. Similar dynamics exist in exclusive nightclubs, such as those in Vegas, where promoters judge women based on appearance and offer perks in exchange for socializing with men.

Ultimately, finding a nightlife environment devoid of negative experiences may necessitate making compromises. While similar dynamics exist in Hollywood clubs, the formalization of practices like booking can sometimes offer a more comfortable experience for women.

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