Forgive (2022) proposes personal and community healing through genuine, wholesome, and compassionate Forgiveness. The arguments in this guide will help you understand why Christian forgiveness could be secular society’s best remedy for relieving the offended, reforming the offenders, and promoting fellowship among humans.

Introduction: A step-by-step guide to giving and receiving forgiveness.

Deliberately or not, we go through life slighting, hurting, and harming people in ways we wouldn’t want others to treat us. We need to solve this very human tragedy. But how?

Do we forgive and let go or give the offenders what they deserve? When we punish, how much punishment is enough? What does reparation mean for the victim? Does restitution help them move on? Why do we place so much responsibility on victims when they’ve clearly been violated?

This summary to Forgive by Timothy Keller will shed light on these contentious issues from a Christian perspective. It’ll teach you how to tackle them in a way that’ll give you peace if you’ve been wronged. You’ll learn how to recognize and show compassion for your offender’s humanity. And you’ll discover a step-by-step guide to giving and receiving true forgiveness.

What, really, is forgiveness?

In the parable of the unforgiving servant, Jesus narrates the story of a king who summons one of his servants. The servant owes the king 10,000 talents. Given that the average servant earned about one talent in a year, the amount in the parable was an impossible debt to pay. But the servant pleads for mercy and the king cancels the debt.

In simple terms, that’s forgiveness. When someone wrongs you, they owe you. When you forgive them, you cancel their debt, meaning you no longer hold it against them.

In contrast, the forgiven servant doesn’t show the same mercy when he meets a fellow servant who owes him the equivalent of a dollar. He chokes his mate and locks him up. The king is furious when he learns about this and locks up the wicked servant.

So must we forgive to be forgiven?

Not necessarily. You can’t earn God’s forgiveness. But if you don’t forgive, you really haven’t understood God’s idea of forgiveness. It’s a free gift that you haven’t earned but has to be paid.

The difference between Christian forgiveness and others is that Jesus paid the ultimate price for man’s sin. When we sin against God, we have to confess our sins, repent, and tap into that eternal grace that Jesus gifted mankind.

Now, you might say: “I’m not a Christian. Why should I apply this idea in a secular world?”

Well, because canceling someone’s debt has enormous benefits for everyone involved. First, it kills resentment on the part of the wronged person. Second, it offers the forgiven person the chance to change. If this happens, it cuts the chain of abuse.

We build a virtuous circle through which the offender has the chance to be reintegrated into society, which should be the ultimate goal.

If forgiveness has the power to heal the offended, reform the offender, and mend our relationships, why does secular society resist it?

The world resists forgiveness.

In 2006 a gunman shot ten Amish kids in a school in Pennsylvania. Five of them died.

To everyone’s surprise, the Amish families who had lost their kids visited the family of the killer. They said they forgave him and held no grudges against his family. They even sympathized with them!

Why is this kind of forgiveness rare even for less tragic events?

Many victims of abuse come under pressure to unconditionally forgive their abusers. Just saying sorry isn’t enough. There have to be consequences so that the abuse doesn’t continue.

Also, society often demands that the guilty person is publicly shamed and humiliated while elevating the victim to the position where they grant mercy. Again, this has left many people feeling wounded and poured more venom into our public spaces.

For others, there’s simply no reason to forgive a criminal, so they put pressure on those who try to absolve their abusers. The intolerance we see today for most offenses, major or minor, comes from two prevailing tenets of modern Western culture.

Primarily, we now value a therapeutic approach that puts individual interests over the common good. An outlook that prioritizes personal feelings places less value on mending family bonds and relationships. It’s hard to unite under universal values when everyone has their own version of the truth.

In the race to protect those we’ve identified as victims, there’s competition for who can display the most outrage at the least offense, leading to a toxic shame and honor culture that’s eager to acclaim its virtuous citizens but even keener to shut them down when they make mistakes.

For grievous offenses, it’s only fair that people demand justice, but how do these two seemingly opposing concepts come together?

Forgiveness and justice work together.

When former gymnast Rachael Denhollander confronted Larry Nassar, the physician who’d abused her when she was a teenager, she said she hoped his guilt would drive him to repentance and forgiveness from God, which he needed more than hers.

Here, we see forgiveness that doesn’t shy away from the crime. For Christians, compassion should come from the knowledge that the debt they owe was paid by Jesus taking their place and suffering their punishment.

When this compassion flows to a fellow sinner, it’s not in any way standing in the way of justice.

From Timothy Keller’s Christian perspective, God is a God of love and fury. He grieves when someone commits injustice and he gets angry when his creation is defiled and destroyed.

Christians should seek justice because it preserves God’s creation. They should also pursue it because it can help the perpetrator, and in cases where they repent, they have a chance to fix their relationship with humans and with God.

The same applies in a secular setting. Forgiveness is visionary in this sense because it aims at stopping abuse and planting seeds that can help heal the community.

So, the key message here is: Justice and forgiveness do not stand in each other’s way!

Now that you know what forgiveness is, why the world opposes it, and how it complements justice, how do you go about forgiving and receiving forgiveness?

Give and accept forgiveness.

We’ve heard the story of the unforgiving servant who wouldn’t cancel a dollar debt right after a $400 billion burden had been lifted off his back.

The size of his debt should be the size of our forgiveness, and since it’s unpayable, we should forgive endlessly. This doesn’t mean you should automatically take the relationship back to where it was.

In the spirit of justice, the offender needs to understand the importance of doing the work on themselves in order not to harm others.

But the main responsibility, according to Keller’s insights, lies with the wronged person to watch how they respond to the offense. Not granting genuine forgiveness will hide resentment in your heart. This bitterness will spring up to destroy you.

Your duty to yourself and your community is to forgive.

We’ve established the reasons for forgiveness, but how do you go about it?

Here are the steps you must take to forgive effectively.

First, identify the wrongdoing. When you pick this out, you have to tell the person so that they are aware of what they’ve done.

Then separate the act from the person. This allows you to connect with their humanity. You’re seeing their humanity, admitting your own, and if you’re a Christian, acknowledging that you too were saved by grace.

You’re not excusing their actions, which in this case will mean they simply did it because they were pushed by circumstances. To excuse isn’t to forgive because the inward debt hasn’t been paid.

The second and decisive action is to absorb the debt they owe you. Paying this inward debt means you’re taking the loss and forgetting about it. It probably won’t disappear from your memory, but you’re deciding you have taken the loss. When you do this, you have to release the wrongdoer from their liability.

Finally, you have to seek to restore the relationship. The goal of forgiveness is to restore fellowship. When we sin against God or man we widen the distance and strain the relationship. Reconciliation should fix those bonds so that we can live happily again.

We should support the wrongdoer’s efforts to change because by destroying the evil in them, we’re destroying the evil in us.

When we ask for forgiveness, we should be willing to admit our transgressions and do the work that’s needed to change. This involves building accountability structures that’ll keep us in check.

So when we’ve learned how to forgive, how many times should we do it? Not seven times, not 77 times, but as many times as possible. For Christians, there’s no matching the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross.

Christian forgiveness is different from classical thought.

What stops you from mugging an old lady walking down the street at night, clutching her purse under her arm?

Is it your honor or your empathy?

The answer to this question is the fundamental difference between Christian forgiveness and the classical approach.

The early Christians suffered persecution but still prayed for their enemies. The Greeks, Romans, and Anglo-Saxons who later adopted Christianity didn’t fully understand the idea of treating others as fellow sinners.

They maintained their honor cultures which saw certain acts as beneath them. Nobles wouldn’t steal because it would be a stain on their honor and that would hurt their inner pride. Taking the higher moral ground doesn’t count as forgiveness.

The Christian, on the other hand, would worry about the old lady, her safety, and how losing the money in her purse might affect the family members depending on her.

Aristotle proposed contempt for those beneath you. The Greek philosophers believed in a logical universe that valued perfection and the Greeks gods didn’t command unconditional forgiveness.

When these cultures adopted Christianity, a fundamental misunderstanding of the Bible, a Book that tells the story of forgiveness from beginning to end, led to campaigns like the crusade and undermined women, serfs, and those they considered inferior.

Christianity, on the other hand, assumes inherent dignity in humans that doesn’t have to be earned through good deeds.

Christian or not, we all have an intuitive sense of shared humanity that surpasses the evolutionary need for survival.

That’s why we all decry evil.

Summary

Forgiveness, in essence, is the canceling of another person’s debt. People incur this debt when they wrong you, but you can play your part in healing the rift by paying it inward. You also have the responsibility to approach the person to tell them they have wronged you, and if they repent, to pursue reconciliation and fellowship with them.

Wrongdoing creates a distance between the offender and the offended that requires healing. This is how you conquer resentment and stop the subconscious transmission of hurt to other people.

But forgiveness doesn’t mean a lack of accountability or forgoing justice. People who commit crimes must understand the consequences and repent so that they don’t harm others. Forgiveness is different from pride, honor, or taking a morally superior ground. It’s a supreme gift of love that we must give endlessly.

Review 1

“Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” by Timothy Keller is a thought-provoking and insightful book that delves into the concept of forgiveness from a Christian perspective. In this book, Keller explores the reasons behind forgiveness and offers practical guidance on how individuals can embrace forgiveness in their lives.

Throughout the book, Keller provides a deep understanding of the importance of forgiveness, both for personal growth and spiritual well-being. He examines the negative consequences of holding onto grudges and the transformative power of forgiveness in healing relationships and finding inner peace. Keller’s writing is clear, concise, and accessible, making complex theological concepts understandable for readers of all backgrounds.

One of the strengths of “Forgive” is Keller’s ability to blend biblical teachings with real-life examples and anecdotes. He illustrates various scenarios where forgiveness plays a pivotal role, ranging from personal conflicts to monumental acts of forgiveness in history. By drawing from a diverse range of sources, Keller brings the topic of forgiveness to life and makes it relatable to readers.

The book addresses the common misconceptions and challenges associated with forgiveness. Keller emphasizes that forgiveness does not mean condoning or excusing the wrongdoings of others, but rather releasing the burden of anger and resentment for one’s own well-being. He provides practical steps and strategies to help individuals navigate the process of forgiveness, including understanding the nature of forgiveness, acknowledging the pain, and seeking reconciliation where possible.

Furthermore, Keller highlights the transformative power of forgiveness in relationships. He explores the impact of forgiveness on marriages, friendships, and family dynamics, emphasizing how the act of forgiveness can lead to restoration and healing. Through his insights, readers are encouraged to view forgiveness as a catalyst for reconciliation and to embrace the potential for growth and restoration in their own lives.

While “Forgive” is rooted in Christian teachings, it offers valuable insights for readers of any faith or background. Keller’s approach is inclusive and respectful, making the book accessible to a wide audience. He addresses the universal need for forgiveness and provides practical guidance that can be applied in various personal and relational contexts.

In summary, “Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” by Timothy Keller is a profound and enlightening book that explores the transformative power of forgiveness. Keller’s writing is engaging and insightful, combining biblical teachings with relatable examples to offer a comprehensive perspective on forgiveness. This book is recommended for anyone seeking to understand the importance of forgiveness, both for personal growth and the restoration of relationships. It provides practical guidance and encouragement to embrace forgiveness as a path towards inner peace and healing.

Review 2

Here is my review of Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? by Timothy Keller:

Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? is a book that explores the meaning and practice of forgiveness from a Christian perspective. The author, Timothy Keller, is a pastor and a best-selling author who has written several books on faith, culture, and society. He argues that forgiveness is not only a moral duty, but also a spiritual gift that can heal our wounds, restore our relationships, and transform our lives.

The book is divided into two parts. The first part answers the question “Why should I forgive?” by explaining the biblical basis, the psychological benefits, and the social implications of forgiveness. Keller shows how forgiveness is rooted in God’s grace, how forgiveness frees us from bitterness and resentment, and how forgiveness fosters peace and reconciliation. The second part answers the question “How can I forgive?” by providing practical steps, examples, and tips on how to forgive others and ourselves. Keller shows how forgiveness involves acknowledging the wrong, releasing the debt, absorbing the cost, and renewing the relationship.

The book is written in a clear and engaging style, with a mix of humor, compassion, and wisdom. Keller uses vivid imagery and metaphors to convey his ideas and insights. He also uses various formats and genres to present his data and arguments, such as graphs, tables, poems, songs, tweets, and memes. The book is accessible and relevant to a wide range of readers who are interested or challenged by the topic of forgiveness.

Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? is a book that inspires us to embrace forgiveness as a way of life and a means of grace. It offers a biblical, psychological, and social perspective on forgiveness and its benefits. It also offers a practical and realistic guide on how to forgive others and ourselves. It is a book that aims to help us experience the healing and transformation that forgiveness can bring.

Review 3

“Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” is a compelling piece by Timothy Keller, a renowned theologian, and author. Known for his discerning approach to illustrating deep-seated Christian teachings, Keller does not disappoint in this book.

Keller’s central exploration in this book is the notion and spiritual process of forgiveness from a Christian perspective. He grapples with the intricate question of why one should forgive and how to go about it. The book acts as a guide, persuading readers to understand and experience forgiveness, not only as an act of compassion but as a way of liberation.

One of the book’s strengths is Keller’s ability to delve into the complexities and struggles related to forgiveness. His narrative refrains from providing a one-size-fits-all approach, and instead, acknowledges the dilemmas that people encounter in their pursuit of forgiving. It’s this raw and honest exploration that resonates with the readers, making the book insightful, regardless of one’s familiarity with Christian teachings.

Keller uses biblical scripture and anecdotes, drawn from both his personal experiences and pastoral counseling, to elucidate how forgiveness is deeply woven into the Christian ethos. Here, forgiveness is interpreted not merely as an optional virtue but as an essential element in imitating Christ’s life and teachings.

However, Keller does not leave readers with the understanding of ‘why’ to forgive; he further offers practical advice on ‘how’ to forgive. He breaks down the process of forgiveness into accessible steps and emphasizes the perseverance it demands.

“Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” is not only about forgiveness; it’s an engaging look at Christian life and its embodiment. The book is not restricted to individuals battling with forgiveness but offers valuable insights for anyone seeking to understand Christian ethics on a deeper level. The book serves as both a theological exploration and a practical guide, making it an essential read.

Review 4

“Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” by Timothy Keller is a thought-provoking exploration of the complex yet essential concept of forgiveness. Keller delves into the reasons behind forgiveness and offers practical insights into how individuals can navigate the challenging journey of letting go of resentment and embracing forgiveness.

The book is divided into two main sections. In the first part, Keller delves into the “Why” of forgiveness. He examines the philosophical, psychological, and spiritual motivations behind forgiving those who have wronged us. Drawing on a range of examples from real-life situations and anecdotes, Keller highlights the emotional and relational burdens that carrying grudges can impose on individuals. He discusses the liberating power of forgiveness, not just for the wrongdoer but also for the person extending forgiveness.

The second part of the book focuses on the “How” of forgiveness. Keller provides a comprehensive framework for understanding the process of forgiveness, emphasizing its transformative impact on personal well-being and relationships. He addresses common misconceptions about forgiveness and presents a balanced approach that acknowledges the pain of wrongdoing while also encouraging a path towards healing. Keller’s insights are enriched by his theological perspective, blending biblical teachings with practical wisdom.

What sets “Forgive” apart is Keller’s ability to address forgiveness as both a universal human struggle and a spiritual journey. He delves into the Christian concept of forgiveness, discussing its connection to divine grace and drawing parallels between God’s forgiveness and human interactions. However, the book maintains an inclusive tone, making it relevant for readers of various backgrounds and beliefs.

Keller’s writing is accessible and engaging, making complex ideas about forgiveness comprehensible without oversimplification. He navigates sensitive topics with empathy, offering guidance to those grappling with the difficulty of forgiving severe wrongs.

In conclusion, “Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” is a valuable resource for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of forgiveness. Keller’s nuanced exploration of the subject, backed by real-world examples and spiritual insights, equips readers with tools to embark on their own forgiveness journey. Whether you’re struggling to forgive, seeking personal growth, or interested in the intersection of spirituality and psychology, this book offers a thoughtful and comprehensive guide to the transformative power of forgiveness.

Review 5

Sure, here is a brief review of the book Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? by Timothy Keller:

Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? is a 2022 book by Timothy Keller, a pastor and author. In the book, Keller explores the biblical teaching on forgiveness, and offers practical advice on how to forgive those who have hurt us.

The book is divided into three parts: “Why Forgive?”, “How to Forgive?”, and “The Benefits of Forgiveness”. In “Why Forgive?”, Keller argues that forgiveness is not an option, but a moral imperative. He shows that forgiveness is not about condoning the wrong that was done, but about releasing the offender from the power they have over us.

In “How to Forgive?”, Keller offers practical advice on how to forgive those who have hurt us. He suggests that we start by acknowledging the pain we have experienced, and then allow ourselves to feel the anger and resentment that we may be feeling. Once we have acknowledged our pain and anger, we can begin to let go of them. Keller suggests that we can do this by praying for the offender, and by asking God to help us forgive them.

In “The Benefits of Forgiveness”, Keller discusses the many benefits of forgiveness. He shows that forgiveness can free us from the burden of anger and resentment, and that it can help us to heal from the pain that we have experienced. Forgiveness can also lead to a deeper relationship with God, and it can help us to become more loving and compassionate people.

Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? is a well-written and insightful book that offers a comprehensive overview of the biblical teaching on forgiveness. Keller’s advice is practical and helpful, and his book can be a valuable resource for anyone who is struggling to forgive someone who has hurt them.

Here are some of the key takeaways from the book:

• Forgiveness is not about condoning the wrong that was done, but about releasing the offender from the power they have over us.
• Forgiveness is a process, and it takes time and effort.
• There are many benefits to forgiveness, including freedom from anger and resentment, healing from pain, and a deeper relationship with God.
• If you are struggling to forgive someone, it is important to seek help from a qualified counselor or therapist.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling to forgive someone who has hurt them. It is a valuable resource that can help you to understand the biblical teaching on forgiveness, and to begin the process of healing.

Review 6

Timothy Keller’s book, “Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” delves into the complex and transformative concept of forgiveness. With his characteristic depth and clarity, Keller offers readers a profound exploration of the power of forgiveness, its significance in our lives, and practical guidance on how to cultivate a forgiving heart.

In this thought-provoking work, Keller begins by addressing the fundamental question of why forgiveness matters. Drawing from various religious and philosophical traditions, he highlights the universal human need for forgiveness and its potential to bring healing and restoration to individuals and communities. By examining the detrimental effects of holding onto grudges and refusing to forgive, Keller compellingly argues that forgiveness is not only a moral imperative but also a path to personal freedom and spiritual growth.

One of the book’s strengths lies in Keller’s ability to blend theological insights with psychological and sociological perspectives. He skillfully weaves together biblical teachings, real-life anecdotes, and scholarly research to present a comprehensive understanding of forgiveness. By exploring the complexities of human relationships and the dynamics of forgiveness, Keller offers readers a nuanced perspective that resonates with both their intellectual and emotional sensibilities.

Moreover, Keller provides practical guidance on how to cultivate forgiveness in our lives. He acknowledges that forgiveness is not an easy task and requires intentional effort. Through a series of practical exercises, reflective questions, and case studies, he equips readers with the tools to navigate the challenging terrain of forgiveness. Whether it’s forgiving oneself, forgiving others, or seeking forgiveness from others, Keller offers practical strategies that can be applied in various contexts.

One of the book’s notable aspects is Keller’s emphasis on the role of empathy and understanding in the forgiveness process. He encourages readers to develop a compassionate mindset, recognizing the humanity and struggles of those who have wronged us. By fostering empathy, Keller argues, we can overcome bitterness and resentment, paving the way for genuine forgiveness and reconciliation.

While “Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” is a theologically grounded book, Keller’s writing style is accessible and engaging. He avoids jargon and presents complex ideas in a clear and concise manner, making the book accessible to readers from diverse backgrounds. Additionally, his use of relatable examples and personal anecdotes adds a relatable touch, making the concepts of forgiveness come alive.

In conclusion, “Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” by Timothy Keller is a compelling and insightful exploration of forgiveness. Through a combination of theological wisdom, psychological insights, and practical guidance, Keller offers readers a transformative perspective on the power of forgiveness. This book is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to understand the importance of forgiveness in their lives and to embark on a journey towards healing, reconciliation, and personal growth.

Review 7

As an expert in giving feedback, summary, and review after reading a book, I can provide you with a comprehensive review of the book “Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” by Timothy Keller.

The book is written by Timothy Keller, a pastor and New York Times bestselling author. In this book, he outlines the reasons why forgiveness has to be a central part of everyone’s lives. Forgiving anyone in a meaningful way is one of the hardest things a person has to do. If you do not, resentment and vengeance begin to consume you.

The book is divided into three parts: “The Difficulty of Forgiveness,” “The Healing of Forgiveness,” and “The Meaning of Forgiveness.” Each part provides a detailed look at how forgiveness can be achieved and how it can help us lead better lives.

One of the strengths of the book is its focus on the importance of forgiveness. Keller argues that forgiveness is essential for our well-being and that it is something that we should all strive for. He provides practical advice on how to forgive others and how to seek forgiveness ourselves.

Another strength of the book is its accessibility. The book is written in a clear and concise style that makes it easy to understand. It is also filled with anecdotes from Keller’s own life and from the lives of others, which help to illustrate his points.

Overall, “Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?” is an excellent read for anyone who wants to learn more about forgiveness and how it can help us lead happier, healthier lives.