Main cast: Lindsay Lohan (Sierra Belmont), Chord Overstreet (Jake Russell), George Young (Tad Fairchild), Jack Wagner (Beauregard Belmont), Olivia Perez (Avy), Alejandra Flores (Alejandra Carlisle), Chase Ramsey (Terry Carver), Sean Dillingham (Ralph), and Antonio D Charity (Sheriff Borden)
Director: Janeen Damian

Sierra Belmont is a spoiled heiress whose father, in an effort to teach her to be more responsible, has appointed her as figurehead “vice president of atmosphere” at his Aspen ski resort. She is now stuck there having to, eek, do some work.

Still, she’s not one to miss out on a chance for a photo shoot, so she lets her influencer boyfriend Tad join her at the resort, where he proposes to her on a mountain top for maximum social media clout.

Alas, she loses her balance, falls down the mountain slope, and hits her head on the way back to Earth. She is found by Jake Russell, a more down to earth but still cute owner of a bed and breakfast. He nurses her but alas, she has amnesia and somehow no one can recognize her.

She soon bonds with his daughter Avy, who calls her Sarah after Avy’s stuffed toy. Oh don’t worry, Jake’s not married, he’s just the stereotypical hero of this kind of movies: the hot single daddy that comes with a quite kid for the heroine to discover her maternal instincts and what not.

As sure as everyone on Hollywood is on some kind of drugs, “Sarah” soon embraces a normal life—Hollywood normal, that is, which means you’re still loaded as crap but you stoop to doing your own bed now and then so that you can feel proud of yourself while the hired help claps and calls you her favorite god daughter—and falls for Jake in the process.

Yes, Falling for Christmas sounds like every other freaking Christmas-themed romantic comedy vomited out by Hallmark and Netflix in nauseating regularity, and this one only stands out because it stars Lindsay Lohan and all the noticeable filler lines on her face. This is supposed to her latest comeback.

Now, I wish her all the best, because it can be hard to overcome addiction. If I were her, I’d personally quit show business and move as far away as I could from LA after I come clean, because being in show business means constantly being showered with offers of free or cheap drugs. Still, she’s an adult and she could make her own decisions. I just wish this most recent comeback to sobriety and movie business is one that will last and bring her some semblance of peace and happiness.

As for the movie itself, though, doesn’t the whole thing sound a lot like the plot of Overboard, that movie with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn? I can’t seem to find any information as to whether this is a remake of that movie, but then again, mass-produced romantic comedy swill for Hallmark and Netflix tend to use all the common tropes in unimaginative ways, so who knows, really.

Watching this movie, I am distracted by how much Ms Lohan appears to be closer to the age of Jack Wagner, who plays her character’s father. I know, I know, it’s mean to say this as Ms Lohan had spent decades abusing all kinds of harmful substances to an extreme degree, so of course all this abuse will show on her face and body, and it’s rude to point this out. Still, she puts herself on screen, so people can’t blame me for having eyes and noticing this!

Oh yes, that guy from Glee is in here as the love interest, but who cares. Any other guy could have played this role, so what’s-his-name is nowhere as charismatic or oozing sex appeal enough to make this character interesting.

All the cast members here look like they have a few layers of oil slathered all over their faces for that disquieting plastic doll effect. How nice, because the last thing I need while watching this movie is to compare everyone in it to products from a Barbie chain line. Maybe instead of paying regular salaries, the people behind this thing paid the cast members with free trips to the clinic for all kinds of filler treatments?

As for the movie, well, what can I say. It is what it is—except for Ms Lohan in the lead, this one would be another generic Christmastime romantic comedy, lost in an ocean of similar movies.

That’s why I spend far more time talking about Ms Lohan here, because let’s face it, this movie isn’t about the story, it’s about her. People watch it because of her, to see how she fares.

Well, she acquits herself well enough, but it’d be nice if she had been in something that doesn’t feel like a half-hearted, lackluster, and thoroughly forgettable dime store remake of Overboard, which isn’t even a good movie in the first place.

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