If you didn’t know just yet, God is on Twitter. The Almighty has over 6.1 million devout fans eagerly awaiting His latest posts while He Himself follows only one account—Justin Bieber’s. The parody account is full of witty comments that will hopefully make you laugh and raise your spirits.

1.Never do anything in My name.
Whatever it is, I can do it Myself.

2.Next time you do something awful to someone and then ask for My forgiveness, I’ll do something awful to you and then ask for yours.

3.If hell existed it would be filled mainly with people who spent their lives telling others they were going there.

4.Most people who question the legitimacy of the vaccine do not question the legitimacy of a 2,000-year-old book claiming I had a son who rose from the dead.

5.There are two kinds of people in the world and one of them is going to get them both killed.

6.In response to my ten most recent prayers:
No.
No.
Maybe.
Sorry, can’t hear you.
Sure. I was planning on doing that anyway.
No.
Oooh, if you’d asked yesterday I would have said yes.
Are you kidding?!?
Yes, because I’m a fan of that sports team as well.
No.

7.I’m going to turn the universe off and then back on again and see if that works.

8.COVID keeps evolving, and you keep not.

9.On 9/11/01, the Taliban ruled Afghanistan.

On 9/11/21, the Taliban will rule Afghanistan.

10.There are two kinds of people: the ones who believe in evolution, and the ones whose existence disproves it.

11.What you’ve done to Earth would never have happened to a male planet.

12.The first step in saving life on earth is admitting you are the problem.

Twitter Tweets of God