“Thank you, now can you address the fact that absolutely no belongings were found in the house at all, nothing to suggest to anyone that an elderly female lived there. No walking frame, no clothes, no false teeth, no toiletries.”

“He…,” said Hood pointing at Tim, “he was wearing her bonnet, isn’t that enough for you…?” Hood folded her arms and nodded as she looked around seeking some affirmation from someone in the room.

“Can you prove it’s hers?” asked Wendy.

“Perhaps we should remind ourselves of what this bonnet looks like,” said Scrivener. 

The clerk of the court picked up a red silk cushion upon which was a small white bonnet of thin material. He held it aloft and showed it closely to the jury.

“That’s Granny’s bonnet,” squealed Hood, dabbing her eyes once again.

“Looks like a shower cap to me,” said Wendy, “that would fit anyone.”

“It’s Granny’s,” screamed Hood.

“Please lower your voice,” said Scrivener, “those pigs don’t have to hear what you’re saying.”

“The shower cap is the only item, other than the bedding, that gives any indication someone was living there. A very tenuous link, no food, no drinks, no cutlery, no electrical connection, no gas, no post, nothing.” Wendy listed the items and looked at the jury as she did so. 

She continued: “I move the theory that the only person who has ever seen Granny is the Witness and that is not enough to convict someone. The prosecution have not provided another witness who can corroborate anything that this witness is saying. We can only speculate about why the witness is telling the story the way she is. Please understand that if the witness had called in the police, those fine detectives would have x-rayed my client straightaway to determine if there was any truth in the vicious rumour she has started,  a rumour that is wholly unsubstantiated by any of the facts. I have no further questions.”

With that, Wendy sat down and Little Red Riding Hood left the witness stand at a slow methodical pace hugging her parasol and basket as though drawing strength from their presence. 

“Thank you Miss Nogard,” said Judge Scrivener, “Mr Perry, who would you now like to call to the stand?”

“Thank you, your honour, I’d like to call the accused, Mr Timothy Wolf to the stand.”

A murmur went around the court.

“Silence in court,” shouted the clerk.

Tim Wolf had been expecting this and loped confidently from the dock, down the steps, and across to the witness stand.

The prosecutor tried to get Tim to admit that he’d eaten Granny but Tim maintained his innocence throughout the questions. Once Peter Perry had finished, Judge Scrivener asked Wendy whether she wanted to ask Tim any questions.

“Thank you, Judge,” said Wendy, “I do have a few questions I’d like to ask Mr Tim Wolf, the loving, caring father of four cubs who has been happily married for 10 years and who is completely innocent of the heinous crime he’s been accused of by the local rumour mongers.”

Tim Wolf smiled at Wendy.

“Tim, have you ever seen the previous witness, Little Red Riding Hood in and around the woods where you live?”

Tim cocked his head to one side, “Well, I saw her occasionally when I was near the empty house that she refers to as Granny’s house, but more often than not I heard her shouting and sometimes screaming inside. I used to keep away when that happened as I didn’t want to get involved.”

“I see and did you hear anyone else’s voice at that time?” 

“Yes, a man’s voice, not always the same voice, but definitely male, saying various things I didn’t understand. As I said, I moved away whenever I heard them as I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

“You wanted to avoid trouble, I can understand that, now did you ever look inside this empty house in the woods?”

“Occasionally, when I realised there was no one there, no one visiting at least. No one lived there, despite what you’ve heard previously.”

Tim spoke with calm assurance and the public gallery was enthralled by what he was saying. 

Wendy continued, “What did you see inside, Tim?”

Tim smiled to himself. 

“All that was in there was a bed with some sheets on it that humans use. That skullcap or bonnet as it was called, was always placed on one of the bedposts. There was a small table and a dresser, but both were always bare apart from perhaps one or two small plates on the table.”

“Did you ever see an elderly female who could reasonably be called Granny inside the house?”

Tim shook his head, “Never.”

There was a collective intake of breath from the public gallery. Papa Bear leaned forward and stroked his chin slowly and methodically.

“Tim, what were you doing in the house when the previous witness saw you?”

“Well, my wife and I had just had our fourth cub, young Heather,” said Tim looking at the jury, “and I’d been caught in the rain and become soaked and I caught a cold. I didn’t want to pass this on to young Heather, it could have been injurious to her health…”

The females in the court nodded their heads at how considerate Tim had been.

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Julian Worker’s books can be found here