I had my first Kiss when I was eight years old
K was showing me his Harry Potter books
N wasn't in the room, he was quite angry about the fact that I was playing with his brother and not him
So when K went to get us some snacks and water, N ran into the room and stole a kiss from me
I was so surprised I locked myself onto the balcony
I didn't want to tell anyone since I didn't feel it counted, I wasn't sure it happened, yet factually, that was the moment in which I had my first kiss.
When I was 14, I had my first real kiss
He was one of the skaters from the skate park I went out with once
In the first five minutes of our conversation I decided I didn't like him as anything more than a friend
Yet after months of being friends and turning my head every time his lips attempted to touch mine,
Once my head didn't turn.
I learned that with my eyes Closed, I could isolate the addiction of the feeling
From the wrongness of a person.
So I closed my eyes for the one whose heart was always beating fast underneath his plaid green shirt when I hugged him,
The blue eyed senior at a friends band gig,
The one with funny hair who had a troubled twin
The one who spilled my beer into a toilet at a Halloween party
The Greek Software engineer, 5 years older than me
The one who, when we closed our eyes, we pretended he didn't have a girlfriend
The physics and literature nerd who had an idea of me I liked fitting into
The Czech guy I came up to on the street
The one who made me his life tragedy, which I adored
Some other ones here and there
One broke my heart
One or two I broke perhaps
I have shut my eyelids wherever and whenever I wanted to
However,
With eyes wide open,
I feel they haven't been closed at all.
