I guess I have officially become someone who reads really weird smut to review for the internet masses so they don’t have to. I love my life choices!
If you are on the weird romance Book side of TikTok (or Instagram, where I found this), I would wager you have probably seen Unhinged. The book, written by Vera Valentine, is about a woman having…relations with a door. No, that isn’t a metaphor. An actual door. And somehow, against all odds, I kind of loved it?
I know I KNOW! Hear me out. This is absolutely ridiculous and the book is BAD, but in maybe the best way possible. I was cackling within the first five pages. I could not put this down. It’s a trainwreck I could not—and did not want to—put down. I can totally see why BookTok and Bookstagram picked up on this book. It was made for reaction channels.
We follow our main character, a man who was somehow cursed to be a door inside of a very attractive woman’s apartment. We get lots of insight into the door person’s perspective on the woman (Tana), her landlord, and the neighbor’s dog who pees on him a lot. I told you, this is a truly ridiculous read. It definitely lives up to the title.
This book has murder, kidnapping, Zeus, and full on knob insertion, and all within less than 100 pages, a true feat of modern literature. I know it sounds like I am taking the piss out of this, and I am, but I also really enjoyed reading this; apparently I am a bigger weirdo than I thought. As someone who read the viral Shrek romance earlier this year and who has been reading fanfiction since I was nine years old, I have seen weirder shit online, if you can believe it.
I do oddly enough recommend you read this, if not only for a good hearty chuckle. Vera Valentine knows what she is doing, and I respect the hell out of her. I will be reading her balloon omegaverse novellas as well. Yeah, that is a sentence I didn’t think I would ever write either.
Overall, Unhinged is a short, funny, and oddly erotic book that is free to read on Kindle Unlimited if you have a subscription, otherwise it is 99 cents and worth every penny for the entertainment value. You might even feel a little hot below the collar, and I promise not to kink shame you for it.
If you happen to take the book seriously, you are going to have a bad time. The story is ridiculous and the author did that one hundred percent purposefully. This is a satirical, parody romance, as all of her books seem to be. If you cannot tell that based on the synopsis alone, I cannot help you.
Find the Book: Goodreads | StoryGraph
