I know, I know. I have no excuses this time for the delay in posts. Other than the fact that I FINALLY CAME BACK TO AMERICA AND NEEDED FAST FOOD AND STARBUCKS AND UGH. Okay. Enjoy Volume 16 of Things I Heard in Medical School! Did I catch you saying something ridiculous? Let me know!
“Well your two friends over there, if I can even call them that since they turned their heads away.”
Professor: “What’s your name?” | Student: *takes a few seconds* “huh uhum my name is… Charles.”
“Heart disease kills most patients and heart disease kills most students on our exams.”
Friend: “I’m so over it that I’ve started saying ‘crap’ over the last two weeks.” | Me: “That’s it? I’ve been going Fu–dasdfjaskdfa.”
“Do you play with your belly button? When you touch it do you get a weird feeling in your groin?”
“Dad?”
“Term 2s. They are everywhere.”
“Hypertension can lead to MI. Term 4 pathology exams can cause hypertension!”
“You would make an excellent physician…. But not a great surgeon.”
“In northern India, left to right head shake means no, but in southern India it means yes.”
“I’m going to take that C and run with it and never let it go!”
“You all just have to get out of SGU, do well on the Steps. Never come back to Grenada.”
“Can we stop at the next bump? Can we take a right at the next goat?”
Guy: “It’s my first time doing a female pelvic exam!” Me: “I mean, it’s your first time seeing a female like this in general so all firsts for you today.”
“If we can find a guy who she can look at the way she’s looking at this cake, I think she’d be set.”
“Apparently boys liking the color blue is bad because some blue film bad stuff.”
“It’s not the mic. It’s her voice.”
“They have to Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle wiggle wiggle!”
“I wish I could faint. You know, like in a stressful situation and you don’t know what to do, so you just faint.”
“They take a bite out of them cells, like Cookie Monster!”
“Some of you all don’t like my accent. But my husband thinks it is cute and he takes priority.”
“We learn about Ralph very quickly around here.”
“I have to get to my favorite guys, the white guys! Oh gosh no… If you saw my husband you would know that’s not true!”
“I mean it sucks to lose your computer, but it also sucks to get stabbed”
“So cold temperatures for these people. Like making a snow man. They should not be making a snow man. That’s sad for them.”
“You guys have made me so happy. And happy professors don’t kill their students!”
“When you get anthrax you feel no pain so you die happy!”
Person 1: “There are babies over there!” | Me: “Human babies?! WHERE?!”
“This boy has the African type. No, not because he is black, that would be profiling.”
“Why did we go into medicine and biology? Because we didn’t want to deal with physics or math.”
