I'm a hopeful pessimist. This means no matter how many negative experiences with dating I had, I believe that there must be someone out there who will be a good match for me. Also, I'm realistic, including when it comes to love. I tend to focus on the difficulties involved in being in a relationship but am hopeful that I will find someone who will work through them with me.

In dating, I have become more realistic in terms of what to expect when it comes to relationships. I don't only think of the good aspects, I also think of the challenges. I think of the hard work it takes to be with someone else, the compromises and the commitment. Being in a relationship is being in a unit: you make important decisions together, you have to give up on certain things to get others and you can't just give up on your partner when times are rough, before trying to work through things.

I think about how mundane relationships can get. When things are new, things are exciting. However, things don't stay new forever. Eventually, you get into a routine with your partner. You become bothered by their bad habits and you realize that they aren't as perfect as you thought. When you first started dating, you couldn't bear being apart from him/her but now you sometimes find yourself annoyed by his/her presence. Once you've been together for a while, the lovey-dovey phase is replaced with reality.

I want to have a deep, meaningful connection with someone special. I want to feel close to someone. However, I don't want to feel distant, when I get to know the person. The lovey-dovey stuff prevents people from seeing their partners for who they truly are, as their heads are in the clouds. It causes people to minimize the negatives and exaggerate the positives. This becomes bad when people start pushing aside serious issues within their relationship, to be able to convince themselves that the relationship is right for them, when it's not. People will do a lot to stay in a relationship, even if they're better off single. Yet, there's no point pretending that the person they're with is right for them.

I want to be in love. I want to find that person who understands me, appreciates me and cherishes me. However, I also don't want to live a lie. I choose not to be blinded by love because I don't want to be blind-sided when my partner's true colors come out. I choose not to give my heart out to a man I don't know very well because I don't want to be let down when I do get to know him. I choose to use my head and my heart when it comes to love because I need to both think and feel in order to make the love last. Love is not to be taken for granted. We must follow our hearts, without leaving our heads behind. Appreciate the positives and recognize the negatives. Be hopeful enough to persevere in finding our match but not desperate enough to settle.