There is so much for girls in this day and age to aim for, so many things that were off-limits to maybe their mothers or grandmothers generation, but I wonder. Are we, Woman kind, taking full advantage of the opportunities as they arise. Are we pushing the right Women to see as role models or are we just caught up in the glamour of the celebrity status.

Last week I deleted a discussion blog on WordPress, there was nothing wrong with the blog, it was a daily chat about the trilogy. “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Written by E.L.James. Before setting up the blog I started following people on Facebook, Twitter and other blogs relating to the subject at hand. I despaired at what I found. Now I enjoyed the three books as much as any other women with an ounce of blood running through her veins, I won’t pretend that I loved the plot because to be honest I was just reading each page waiting for the next sex scene. (Don’t pretend you didn’t) . I loved the whole romantic, passionate Relationship between the two characters, Christian and Ana. I loved the whole “Kinky Fuckery” as the Book so eloquently put it. Yes I enjoyed the whole mommy porn package. What I must point out is though at no point reading these books did I ever think being in a relationship with Christian Grey would be a good thing. Yes he is loaded beyond Ana’s wildest dreams, yes he is handsome and dashing. But he is also an abuser. We are fed a tale of despair, a child who saw his own mother being killed and then being adopted. We are supposed to feel sorry for this man and forgive the reality that in real life would be a stalker, he is a control freak that is beyond any rational explanation. He is not only physically abusive, but also mentally abusive. Telling someone “You are mine” can be used in a romantic way but to say it while threatening to punish you if you do not follow his rules brings it into a whole new light. What woman doesn’t want their man to desire them and make them feel like they are the only female in their world. However this where my reading of other fans comments got me slightly worried. Trust me no matter how much money or handsome a man is, the moment he came at me with a belt, actually wanting to physically hurt me, he would find said belt firmly buckled around his balls. But some how there are young (and not so young ) women around the globe justifying what he did. Apparently in the eyes of many women it was actually Ana’s fault for not using a safe word, I mean stupid Ana, how could she forget when the love of her life was beating Fifty Shades of Crap into her. Like wise, when Christian has the completely rational idea of biting  Ana all over her body, marking her so she would cover up and not show her body to other men. Again this was Ana’s fault, she had the audacity to show off her tits on the beach. I emphasise here…HER TITS. No one elses. Christian uses sex as a punishment, in fact in the boat house he actually takes her and gives her a punishment fuck. How sweet, my knight in shining armour. I can’t emphasise enough, I enjoyed all these parts of the books and I like the idea of a man taking control, desiring me and taking charge of sex, but I am able to distinguish between the romantic ideology and the reality that really? This is not a healthy relationship for any woman to aspire to.

Filming has just finished for the third film in this trilogy, Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are taking the lead roles, while I have not seen the films I can understand why two young, stunning actors have caught the eye of so many young fans. Both of them are hot and from what I can gather they both have many female fans swooning over them. Judging by the pages I visited and Tweets I read, girls want to marry Jamie and want to be Dakota, who has the full attention of Mr Grey. This I understand, I could see myself in his arms, ready for anything, we would kiss and he would bind my hands gently. All that worries me is knowing my luck, he would forget he was Mr Grey, king of the bedroom and turn into Paul Spector, king of the rape and murder. So is this what girls should be aspiring to?  Yes Ana is living the life of luxury, but for the luxury she has to put up with a psycho husband . I just think as the books are written by a women she could have given the main character a bit more ambition, not to just take shit from this man, and then justify it because he has a helicopter, gives her a job and buys her a balloon. In effect Ana is a kept woman.

I don’t want to make this rant just a review of a kinky book, there are so many other people out there who give Young Girls the wrong targets to aim for. The Kardashians are a good but not an exclusive example. Kim Kardashian was recently to be found posing on Twitter with her friend Emily Ratajkowski with their boobies out,  this we were expected to believe was a sign of female empowerment. That they could use their bodies how they wanted to and yes I understand that this is what I was hinting at when I spoke about Ana going topless. The difference here is that on many other posts by the same stars they are bleating about being seen as objects and how women are sexualized (Emily appeared in blurred Lines, so your argument is nul and void). They are also quite happy to flaunt their wealth that they earn from the same objectified bodies, trust me it is their ability to attract the opposite sex that fills their banks balances. I suppose they and many other stars who flaunt their assets, would be the equivalent of working in a peep show many moons ago, or appearing on page 3. They understand men will pay you to have a look at what you have got to offer. I am not saying this is wrong as it has and will continue to go on for years to come, but ladies don’t complain that no body will take you seriously when you finally decide you have a brain and would like to use it.

Sitting in the car listening to P!nk, “Stupid Girls” this is the perfect example of my feelings today, growling in her gravelly voice she sings “What happened to the dream of the girl president, She’s dancing in the video next to fifty cent” How apt, this is exactly what I mean. Pink I believe stands for what young girls should aspire to be, she is a strong independent woman, who is happily married. She isn’t afraid to show she loves her husband yet never portrays that she is any different because she is married, her husband has enhanced her life not taken over it. She doesn’t feel the need to get her breasts out at every opportunity, instead relying on her talents as a singer songwriter to keep her in her job. She writes a lot about not fitting in, because not every woman out there has a Kardashian body, about how she has made mistakes in the past with her marriage and other personal issues, she is encouraging girls that it is ok not to be perfect, and while it is nice to be in a wonderful relationship you shouldn’t take any shit while trying to aceive it.

We need to change the way women, escpecially the next generation see success. It shouldn’t be about how rich is the man you marry, (Daily Mail please take note, judging by the story you ran this morning comparing Kate Middletons marriage to the upcoming nuptuals of her sister Pippa). It should not be about how perfect your pout is or how taught you boobs and buttocks are. It should be about the fact that whatever your political views, we in the UK now have a female Prime Minister and a possibility that America will soon have a female President. Now that is girl power!!! It is a rally call for all females out there to think that, nothing is out of reach and your body, or a man, is not the only way of acheiving success. I don’t want you to think that I am some anti marriage, anti booby flaunting writer who hates men, in fact quite the opposite is true, I just want women to get along and aspire for the dizzy heights with men as their equals and realise they are worthy of every ambition they acheive….love as always Helen xxx